I feel the same way about marriage. Im scared to get married even though I want to. But it seems like nothing is sacred in the world anymore.

Think about it this way, if you have children, you get support, alimony and such. Look at Michelle Williams. She had Heath Ledger's kid and gets nothing.

Marriage is traditional, out-dated and normal. The 'new-wave', so to speak, are opting out of marriage and for separate bank accounts, or into marriage only for the sake of social benefits. I know I am. I see marriage as a waste of money, a lot of stress, not much reward, and a subconscious lock-down which will eventually drive any free 'soul' insane.

You sound just like my daughter. She can't see the expense of a wedding or the vows being said. She also says it's a waste of money and time which would probably lead to devorce because one out of two do.. She also says, if it comes to that, she can just go, no strings to pull through a courtroom. I, as her mom would still like to see her married:)

I answer many calls pertaining to domestic violence. Many couples have told me exactly the same words as your question. They were just fine living together, but when they said "I do", things really changed. I use to believe in marriage. i still do. its the people involved, not the marriage. I believe children should have married parents. But, realisticly, its not the way of the world today. In conclusion, i say this...."if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Read between the lines.

I think that people dont really think seriously before they say "I do" unless they have been having a really strong relatinoship then it all makes sense to get married and start a family etc.When there are kids involoved,it takes a lot of stress if you are going through a divorce or separation.I dont understand how some people get a divorce a year or so after getting married and then they also have a young toddler to deal with.I hear all the time that marriage is VERY HARD work and I'm not prepared to give up my freedom as a single young woman to put myself into a stressful relationship/marriage.I love being on my own a lot and I think it's just as good as being in a good relationship.I spoil myself and treat myself every now and then,hang out with friends and have fun.Yes I do feel sad when I see lovely couples snuggle up together and kissing and the fun of sharing your life with someone you care about immensly but I'm scared of the heartbreak that every relationship brings you when the other party cheats on you or worse,beats you up.I've just come out of a 5-year abusive relationship and I've learned that it isn't so bad to be alone than in bad company/relationship as long as you have a lot of friends to hang out with. I'm loving it and I intend to stay single for a very long time to come.I dont want to get married and think that I might go through divorce later in life.It's such a painful process.Living together is the same.It's just the piece of paper that gives you the "assurence" that you two will live happily ever after but who in the world stay together happily ever after? Very few indeed.... very sad but thats how the world is today.....

Personally I'm in favor of a simple contract. Two parties (any gender or mixture) contract together. They cover disposition of finances, handling expenses, joint purchases, allocation of items and have a termination clause with an option to extend. They also can have a dissolution program that they agree to in advance. Makes more sense to me than going through an expensive wedding (you can have a contract-signing ceremony) and the "divorce" becomes much easier and is governed by the rules of contracts rather than the rules of the family law courts.

I know that I'm scared of it myself. My parents went through a very nasty divorce after 18 years of marriage. It ruined my childhood... I had to become an adult much faster than I wanted to. I would never want a child to experience what I had to go through. I am a human being... like all human beings I have the need to feel safe. And to be honest, I feel safest when I'm alone. I can pay my own bills and live in a civilized society, not a cave. So what do I really NEED a man for that I couldn't get outside of marriage with much less risk involved?

that is a very good point. my parents are still together and my grandparents are still together. marrage can be the most beautiful thing on earth, but i just dont feel like ppl take it very seriously anymore. and that scares me. i really want to get married at some point but i am affraid of being left. i have always been left in realastionships, i have not broken up with anyone. :( i am begging to think that it is something to do with me. im sorry but writting this has made me feel very down. it is like no one wants to love me for a very long period of time. ugh, the world can be a very lonely place to those who are disregarded.

You know what one of the real problems for divorce besides, money and infidelity and miscommunication is: marrying for the wrong reasons. Marriage is suppose to be for the long-haul. So the "relationship" has to be worked on even b4 you say I DO, after saying I DO and all throughout the relationship. Instead most people think that once you say I do, the work is all over.

Marriage means commitment, fidelity, responsibility, respect and other. If a couple get divorced it means that one or more of this factors is not being completed, and so they decide to part different ways. In no moment do they become horrible people. Divorce can be bad but it is not the end of the world. It's only a step in the way, not the final destination. If marriage is a scary thing for you, it is very likely that you are not ready for it. In that case, you shouldn't even fear divorce.