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by dertster on October 24th, 2006

dertster

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My brother's addicted to crystal meth. How can my family help him help himself?

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Answers. 23 helpful answers below.

  • by Persky Bunkermeister on October 24th, 2006

    Persky Bunkermeister

    Either way, he's degrading to death -- supporting his addiction by giving him shelter just prolongs the pain for everybody. Often, addicts just have to hit bottom -- if he survives the bottom -- there's a good chance you'll get your brother back. But don't expect to get your brother back the way he was before.

    Google "family intervention" -- that's one possibility that might work. This has to be well planned, and you should plan it with a social worker who will know many options for treatment. Even if you don't choose this route, family therapy for the rest of you will be useful. Don't think that you are causing his death -- he is causing his death by his choices.

    I don't think calling the police would do much good. In many places, it's just a revolving door for addicts -- the police are far more interested in stopping the problem at it's source, than in the social work of fixing the symptoms.

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  • by tomsims on January 2nd, 2007

    tomsims

    You are going to have to start by deciding not to catch him when he starts to fall. He is going to have to hit the ground hard and that is going to be very difficulty for people who love him - prehaps more so for you than him.

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  • by thickalious on January 2nd, 2007

    thickalious

    Any person that is addicted to drugs has to want to help themselves,stop giving him money ,and being there for him all the time,tough love will not hurt him.Don't forget to say a prayer to have God watch over him and keep him safe.

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  • by zazzy_one on January 2nd, 2007

    zazzy_one

    Two ways. I have a client I love dearly who is also addicted. 1) I am having her talk to her doctor about how it is effecting her organs. She's really smart. I hope that will shock her into realization, knowing that essentially she is slowly marinating her own organs from the inside out. 2) There is also a new drug out there that makes you lose your desire for it. A very few places are testing it around the country very sucessfully. It is like Anabuse (the one that makes you ill if you drink alcohol) for meth. "Prometa" is the name of the drug. I do not know if you can get this all over the country. They are testing it in my state (Washington.) But the results have been tremendous.

    http://www.hythiam.com/media/100506PCA.pdf

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  • by nchntdmyth on December 13th, 2006

    nchntdmyth

    unfortunatly until your brother comes to the point that he wants to quit for no other person or reason than for himself you can threaten do the tough love show him thoundsands of picture so that i don't have to retype it read my answer response for amanda_0517 question If you have been addicted to a drug before does the feeling of wantig it ever go away? and after you read it and if you would like to discuss and understand better what it's like being the one addicted to it in the comment area just say yes and we will figure some way to exchange email address

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  • by Anonymous on January 10th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I would say this ..
    1. Intervention, He needs to be confronted by the people that loves him. You need to show him how this hurts not just himself but his freinds and family as well

    2 Educate... He needs to see an read what that drug an all drugs does to him and his family. The long/short term effects like medical an finaical problems.

    3 Encouragement.. You need to let him know that hes not alone, And that he can depend on his family emotionaly To help him get clean..

    Ive worked a few years teaching drug prevention for the local court system. While my suggestions are very short, they are the basics to recovery. I would like to point out 1 point.. Its very important that you an your family are there for him emotionaly.. 2nd point, He needs to want to quite, You can not force recovery. He has to want recovery before any real recovery begins.. You can do this through educating him on the dangers, Showing him the self destruction an how it hurts him and the people around him..My 3rdpoint would be positivity..Things need to remain positive..Theres a reason why hes using.. My 4th point would be that he seeks couciling to talk about the stuff bothering him and forcing him to turn to drugs for answers. And Finally He needs to break ties with other users...even if there life freinds, people hes known for years...He needs new freinds that dont use, so that he doesnt revert to old ways, and so that hes not faced with the temptation of using.. This last point can not be done by his family. This has to come from him.. This Is is the final statement thats hes truely done and ready to get help or remain clean...Family can still help through support, but he needs to do this step on his own..

    Good Luck I hope what ive posted has been helpful, Dont give up on him...Hes your family, And things will get better..Stay Positive

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  • by Anonymous on January 10th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Hes got to be willing to give up the monkey!!! Ive done it for 17yrs my family for a long time they didnt want to believe its really hard Ive tried to quit but back then and me being or past tens a ex drug dealer,and a cook it made it harder for me but u have got to want to give the monkey up Ive done a lot of time for that stuff Ive been clean for 2yrs its been hard i done it i dont know how old u are but 17yrs is a long time to be in the game but after awhile its game over i went to treatment in oak cliff in downtown Dallas tx im very grateful for that place it saved my life and my family so its not the end of the world my friend Ive been married 3 times and 1 son for example my son was in school and they were going around the room and each kid said what there parents did for work will my ex called and told me he told them that my daddy is a drug dealer that really hit home so please take it from me leave it alone before its to late from been there.....

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  • by dertster on October 24th, 2006

    dertster

    Logistically, how? My mother's best friend turned her son in to the police. He resisted arrest, they bashed his head open. After a few months in a coma, he now has the mental capacity of a 2-year old.

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  • by Anjana on March 14th, 2007

    Anjana

    You really need to go thru this article, it gives you a spiritual insight into the root cause of addictions - http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritualresearch/mentalhealth/addiction/overcoming_addiction_cyriaque.php

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  • by Jlo on April 22nd, 2007

    Jlo

    unless you can stay with him (& up with him) 24/7 & I mean literally by his side at all times..there's not a whole lot you can do. He has to want to help himself. In some states you are able to put them in a treatment center against their will(I am assuming you have prob. tried to get him to go on his own).In Ga,if 3 imm. relatives (parents,sibs.,spouses,& I think-grandparents count)request,fill out & sign the forms(I think you have to have a judge ok them as well. You have to tell why you think he s/b put in the facility & give examples of what he has done). The sheriffs office will have them picked up and take them to the facility. They'll be evaluated, tested, all that stuff they do and decide whether or not he s/b admitted. I beleive the max, in GA, that they can keep him (against his will) is 72hrs. That's long enough to clean him out, but not long enough to kick the craving or for him to get over the resentment towards having him put there. He has to want to stop, he has to decide to walk away from his friends (b/c if he is doing it more than likely they are as well). There has to be something in his life worht losing, something that is more important to him than meth. It's a hard road & people say meth addicts can never stop, but they can, as long as you don't give up on them. That's why most don't make it, people give up on trying to help them. Meth addicts are one of the hardest to help, it takes longer to get through to them, b/c when they are doing it they don't care, they "don't need anybody", their emotions & feelings are pushed to the back so that they don't have to deal with them, so threats of "cutting him off" or having nothing to do w/him doesn't get to him. The reality of those threats just don't sink in, not until he comes down & then he can just go get more. You really have to stay with them, be supportive, not judgemental, as irrational and mean as they may get you have to sometimes "just agree" and try to go at it another way. It is possible to get a meth addict clean, you just have to be in it for the long haul, be willing to be the "bad guy" in their eyes, be ready to kick his "friends" out, be ready to become "stalker-ish"(always up in his business) & in the end they have to want to stop. If they finally realize how much someone loves them and actually sees all the crap they have put those that love him through, they sometimes break & that's your chance, that's when you can get them. Anyways, I hope some of this helps, it's a very tough battle. I have faught it for the past 3 years, and everyone else gave up on the one we were trying to help, I almost did. I'm glad I didn't b/c the fight was well worth it, I didn't give up and I got him back. So, they can get clean. I just had to make him want to be clean, that's what it comes down to, him wanting to be clean. Good Luck!!!

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  • by CoachMJ on February 9th, 2007

    CoachMJ

    Provide him with the means to help himself. As I am sure you know, if he is not ready, there is nothing you can do to stop him. Even if you have him committed (and you can-legally), it will only clean him up temporarily. Some interventions may help him realize what he is doing. It is going to call for patience on your part!

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  • by LauGhOutLouDx3 on February 9th, 2007

    LauGhOutLouDx3

    Take him to a drug addiction institute or where they can get him to stop -hurry before its too late

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  • by Anonymous on October 24th, 2006

    Anonymous

    Show him photographs of humans that died from the use of crystal meth. also of humans tearing away the skin on their arms, believing worms are inside. also, photos of users that have lost all their teeth and have suffered irrepairable brain damage. find a police officer. most carry literature showing what has been described above.

    Do what you have to do to get your brother into rehab.. i mean whatever it takes. i know you love him or you would not be asking this question.

    In all honesty, you and your family can talk to him till you are blue in the face. until HE decides to become clean, nothing you can say or do will change his mind. it does not work, until the user is ready.

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  • by ChrisDG on October 24th, 2006

    ChrisDG

    This is amazingly tough question and I do empathise, though I have never had to go through anything like this personally. You could follow the advice already given but I personally think this may make him confrontational as though you are ganging up on him. Perhaps have this as an alternative plan. You don't say whether he gets violent or not but when in a state where he is not thinking clearly he is more liable to do harm to others or himself.

    Firstly, he himself must understand that he has a problem and that not only is it affecting him but his family and friends as well. Admittance is always necessary before any person can successfully beat the addiction. Does he realise he has a problem or does he think he controls it rather than it controlling him?

    Has he tried talking to anybody about this problem or not? He may be scared to go to the police for fear of retribution and legal consequences if he admits this problem. Perhaps visiting the GP or some other local doctor or nurse/health professional may well lend a more understanding ear and be better placed to point you in the right direction for advice or support organisations. Even if he refuses, that does not stop you yourself going to get information.

    In UK there is a newly publicised service called talktofrank.com which contains a lot of information and even has a feature whereby you upload a photo and it shows how they will look like following long term usage of crystal meth. It also has lots of links to advice sites, though many of these may be UK based.

    Why not ring up any rehab centres for advice, since they have specially trained staff for dealing with people in the same situation as your brother and are perhaps best able to help.

    I do hope this helps and that your brother realises how much damage he could cause to himself and others.

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  • by turbowray on March 14th, 2007

    turbowray

    As stated above, let him hit rock bottom, if you help him out of his binds he gets into because of his addiction, he will not realize how deep in trouble he is in. Love him, and let him know that you will be there for him when he is ready to become clean. Please be there if he does decide to do this, it is not easy. Go to counseling with him. Get him enrolled into a rehab center. You can discuss with a counselor now about intervention, but ultimately, it will be up to him, to get this help, you can not force him. Good luck, my prayers are with you!

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  • by Anonymous on October 24th, 2006

    Anonymous

    Personally, I'd turn him in to the police. Then he will get the help he needs. An addict is not likely to help himself but will need help to overcome his addiction which he will get if you turn him in to the police.

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  • by nchntdmyth on December 18th, 2006

    nchntdmyth

    Everyone says send them to rehab or call the cops they’ll make sure they get help. Ive been to rehab twice throughout the 20 so years I used and if I had to choose one thing I learned from them was to better control my habbit that if my supplier was out it was ok to go without until he re-upped again even if it took a couple of days. That I didn't have to go out and chase the bag. I have also been arrested and sentenced to time and all I learned from that besides how to hot wire a car or the proper way to break into a house or the different way in which the drug is made. (not that i would or have ever done any of those things but i was told how to) Was how to keep from getting arrested again.

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  • by psychotikid on January 2nd, 2007

    psychotikid

    tough love

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  • by AntigoneRising on February 9th, 2007

    AntigoneRising

    Tough love. You cannot save him while trying to protect your relationship with him. I think you need to design an intervention, which will probably mean reporting him to some authority who CAN order him to take action. This may or may not work, but we DO know that logic and talking are ineffective in combatting addiction. By keeping his secret, you are enabling him.

    I suggest you look into Alanon, which has excellent support services for people in your position.

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  • by Athrael on February 9th, 2007

    Athrael

    Nothing.

    There is nothing that anyone can do or say to help him "help himself".

    In fact 'helping' can do far more harm than doing nothing. Not only does helping lead to enabling (Do a search on the word) it can also lead to backfiring and sending him deeper into drugs.

    If you force him into rehabs/detox and programs he will fight it, most likely he will fight so hard that when he is ready to help himself he will refuse to seek help.

    I take it you don't do meth. You do not understand the power of the drug you have no idea what it feels like to tweak.

    I've been using for over 20 years, meth is one of my favorites. I IV use (slam) it when I use. Even though I know what it feels like I can not relate to you the full experience. I'm an on again off again addict, been doing it for years I fall off the cart and go out for a while, get clean for a while. Yeah addiction is that powerful.

    There is NOTHING you can do to Help him.

    There is Something you can do to help yourself and that is Alanon/Alateen. (I think alanon.org) These two programs are for family and friends of drug addicts/alcoholics NOT for the addicts themselves.

    They are going to tell you things you won't like to hear, like to cut ties and let him sink or swim. Like telling you about tough love. Like telling you to forget interventions, forget admitting him into clinics. Its hard for you but these things will do more to help him in the long run.

    Forget moving your family. If he wants to do drugs he will find those drugs no matter where you move to. Or worse he will run away and go back to his friends and dealer.

    My Nephew moved in with me last year (I'm in a clean period of my life) in order to get out of the town he was living in and partying to get clean and sober. 28 days later he found a dealer down the street and was tweaking and freaking (Drug talk: Drugs and Sex)in his bedroom. Point is he wanted to use and he located a dealer (one I didn't know) nearby.

    Meth is everywhere - in placed you can't even imagine.

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  • by Universe Of Life on January 10th, 2007

    Universe Of Life

    Change his evironment. I know its a big ask but getting him off the drugs is one thing, but keeping him away from the people who introduced him to them in the first place is another. If your family are prepared to do anything to help they should try moving to a town/place where there is much less of drug a problem and much less tolerence for drug users/dealers.

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  • by Anonymous on January 2nd, 2007

    Anonymous

    Unless he is willing to honestly help himself, you are fighting a losing battle.

    Crystal meth. will eat his brain away, along with his teeth. also, his lungs will suffer and even develope lung cancer.

    I understand your concern for your brother and it is commendable of you.

    If he is not willing to go into rehab., he will wonder forever for his next fix.

    There is not much you can do, if he does not co-operate.

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  • by Cheesecake_M on August 11th, 2010

    Cheesecake_M

    tell him you love him everyday sacrifice your time to follow him around and stop him buying the product. let him see that you still care for him. TELL him ITS NOT YET LATE. let him see that the people around him still cares about him a lot and they would do anything to help him out. if you have to lock him up inside the house for a year until he opens his eyes. DO IT! if nothing happens and he hits the bottom. and he goes back to the family. accept him give him all the attention and help he needs. hes still a family after all. just think positive.

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