This is such a common question, and I am not demeaning it at all. The only way he will get over his addiction is on his own accord...by hitting his own person bottom. There is nothing that you nor anyone else can do to help him. I know you want to help, but the only way to help is by being there when he is ready. Otherwise you either have to accept him for who he is or move on. Trying to force a change that he is not ready to make will not help either of you.

This organization may be able to help: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

You could try getting him into a rehab program.

You can not help him until he is ready to help himself. It usually takes something really bad to happen or a run in with the law before he will ask for help. The best thing you can do is show him love and support. If you love him, DO NOT keep him from learning the consequences of his drug addiction. Do not use with him (including alcohol), do not help him financially or make excuses for his behavior. Do not do things to inable his drug addiction. It has to be tough love. He will thank you for it one day and it might just save his life. Try if you can to find out "WHY"! Ask him what it does for him emotionally and physically. There is always some reason why he feels he needs to use. I know it is hard. I have been through it myself. I was too proud and independent to ask for help. I used drugs because drugs helped me do all the things that I needed to do and feel good about my myself. I found out that I can still be a wonderful person without using drugs. Believe me, he is in a hell of his own. I wish you luck and try to stand strong.

Well, there is always that "It's either me or the drugs" thing, but I dont think that will go over to well-whether he chooses you or the drugs. Because if he chose drugs, then he wouldnt have you and if he chose you, well...he wouldnt have drugs and he would probably take his anger (that he will definately get) out on you! The only thing that you can do is to be understanding if he quits or even if he doesnt quit! HE is the only one who is going to make that deision, especially since he is addicted! People who are totally addicted think that nothing is wrong with the addiction and will more than likely deny that they have an addiction at all. Maybe you should sit him down and tell him how you honestly feel and let him know that it hurts you to see him like that and that he cannot see his self like you see him, so he doesnt know what its like. After that is up to him. If he decides to quit, then be very very patient! This will probably take a long time! An addiction just cant be stopped in 1 day! You should help him, not force him or anything like that! Be there for him. If he decides to-for the first week-do the drug everyOTHER day, then let him do that, then say the second week he wants to do it maybe 3x in the entire week and he gets to pick when, even if it is all in 1 day-but let him know that the rest of the week WILL be harder. So if he happens to mess up and do it 4 or 5x a week, be their for him, understand, let him know that its ok, he can still go through with it. Talk to him, try to get him to go out a lot and try new things! This will be a difficult time because he will be very stressed, but the most only thing you can do for him is again, be their for him! Also, YOU should NOT feel depressed at all about this!!! Just tell yourself that that is his life, you want to help him but you are still going to live yours! You shouldnt feel depressed for what someone else is doing! Good luck and PLEASE let us know what happens!!!

Hi, I can understand the circumstances you are facing. Stay calm and keep talking to him to help him accept and come out of it. Have you seeked professional guidance yet? I would suggest you visit http://www.steppingstonecenter.org/ where in you can find a treatment for your bf. Take care and God bless!