I think my partner is cheating. He will never admit it to my face. I am sure I will find something in his email inbox. Should I check it? I know its wrong, but its the only way to know. I don't want to leave him. I just want to know the truth.
by 
tata30
ANSWERS: 13
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I would think your relationship far outweights the morality of checking someone elses email. Check it along with Cell phone records.........If your intincts tells you he could be cheating......then i'd follow them.
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Check it if you want, though if he's cheating I doubt he'd be stupid enough to actually leave evidence in his email. To the person who suggested going into cell phone records-thats not "snooping", thats bordering on stalking. Hell, it's crossed the border into full out stalkerness. Email=okay. cell phone records=stalker. EDIT: To be clear, I don't find the idea of going into someones emails morally right, nor would I personally do it. However I get the feeling that the asker is going to do it whatever I personally say, so might as well go with the flow.
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and why do you think the evidence (if any) will be found in his email inbox?
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If you have a suspicion, you are probably right. Don't resort to being sneaky and violating his privacy, that will make you the bad one. Even if you catch him in a lie somewhere down the line, he will deny everything. (Just Like Bill Clinton) If you aren't going to leave a sneak and a potential liar, just have a cocktail and forget about his computer.
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If you are so sure that you will find evidence in his e-mail then you must have some strong intuition that something is going on, I have learnt from experience that you must trust that gut instinct. I totally agree with Dr. Julia you need to have a plan....if you are proved right what will you do, if the answer is nothing, then what is the point of knowing. Would it not be better to get the truth straight from him than have to confront him with stuff you have uncovered....that would be like scoring points. At the same time my heart bleeds for you because this suspicion can become all consuming and does neither of you any good.
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If you think he is cheating, it is either, yes he is, and you need to dump his ass, or no he isnt and your insecure, so either way you have a problem. But invading his privacy, because you think he might be cheating, is disgusting. So if you find out he is, are you going to stay, since you, "dont want to leave him"? What if the truth is you are insecure and he is faithful, now you look like a fool.
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We as women know when are men are cheating but we need that proof, so If I was you I would check that email yes do it.
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Private Eyes.....
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Check it, yes you are invading his privacy, but if you think you need to know the truth do it. And if he isnt then try not to be so insecure. However, sometimes the truth can hurt more then you would expect
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Okay, so what would you do if you found out he is cheating on the side? Would you, could you open yourself to a polyamory lifestyle? You say you don't want to leave him, that you just want to know, so what happens afterwards? He comes home from work, you feed him and then he goes out on a date? What if the proof isn't in his email? You'll probably check anyway. If you do find evidence, what will you do?
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If you already know regardless if hes cheating or not that you don't want to leave him then I see no reason in even finding out.
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I wouldn't, to me that's an invasion of privacy.
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I think its an invasion of privacy, but as a couple there shouldn't be any secrets. If he is innocent, then he should show you the emails. If he refuses, then you might have a problem.
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