It doesn't sound like yelling or being judgmental is going to be helpful in this case. There's a way to be with someone who has made mistakes, which is sort of a middle-ground... something like "I care about you. You're making choices that have serious consequences, but I recognize that some lessons have to be taught by life itself rather than by me." ... in other words, you're "being there" for him, without endorsing his behavior or preaching.

First, let him know how much you love him and how concerned you are about the choices he is making. Let him know that you love him unconditionally, and that you will support him in any way you can as he gets his life together. I would also recommend using statements to him that instill your 'belief' in him as a person. Building him up is going to be much more effective than 'tearing him down'. He all ready knows that he has made mistakes. It's time to build from there. Remind him that many of us make mistakes as teens, and that he hasn't ruined his life. It won't be an easy road, but he can turn it around with positive reinforcement and support from you. Best of luck!

What he wants does not matter: if it would be the right thing to yell at him, you should do it, whether he wants it or not. However, it sounds like the time for yelling is long past. Actually, yelling rarely does any good. A short, sharp shout early on can tell someone that they have gone a long way over the line, when they may have thought they only went a bit too far. Beyond that, yelling usually just makes people curl up and ignore the yeller. Your son will know, without being told, that he has made a big mistake and that you are very upset. What you need to work out is *why* he made that mistake. Was it for money, or for drugs for himself? Either way, how can you get him to see that, even if he gets away with it for a short time (which he hoped, but didn't), a life of crime is *always* a loser, and the person he is hurting most is himself.

I do not agree with Im Alec that it doesn't matter what he wants. Drug addicts (and even non addicted kids messed up in the drug scene) are addicts/ get involved because they have problems. They are trying to escape something or are gravitating toward some (generally) unhealthy thing or both. Assuming you are coming from a loving place, the first thing I would do is say: "what do you need from me to overcome this?" The second thing I would do is LISTEN. The third thing I would do is LISTEN SOME MORE. The forth thing I would would be would engage in ACTIVE listening. Kids aren't great at talking about things. You have to encourage him to tell you what this is all about. Why it happened, etc. Even if he doesn't want to talk, doesn't know how to talk about it, or DOESN'T KNOW anything: thinks it all just "happened." These are only in terms of seeing him. You have to gird yourself with knowledge and expertise before you go in. I would advise reading as much as you can about kids and drugs before you go in AND talking to a family counselor about how you should approach him. A good counselor who has a specific background about how you and your child GENERALLY interact, etc., will have better advice than any of us because s/he will have more information than just the few lines you have given us and the professional background to come up with a strategy. If you have the time for one additional professional, see a kid-oriented drug treatment counselor who can guide you in choosing the good current literature on the topic.

Every teen wants to rebel- drugs are rebellious. Sometimes kids do drugs because of peer pressure or to be cool. Your son could be self medicating himself because of something that is going on in his life. Don't be mad or yell- he's just rebeling which all kids do in one form or another.

I got involved in drugs when I was young and gave my mum a really hard time, just be there for your sun. I was just doing it to rebel at the time. I didn't know what I was doing, very destructive and irresponsible drug use. Just let him know you are there for him teach him about drug and addiction dangers, many people make mistakes in their teenage years. Stick with him and even if it takes time it will be ok.