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by 123JackPike123 on August 7th, 2006

123JackPike123

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What is the best way to cheer people up? My friend is constantly depressed.

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Answers. 29 helpful answers below.

  • by Stableboy on September 4th, 2006

    Stableboy

    Stop trying to cheer them up. When somebody is depressed, that's very irritating. If you want to be helpful, do your best to listen. Try to understand what life is like for them, who they think they are, why life is painful, etc.

    The problem with trying to cheer somebody up is that it doesn't allow for whatever experience they're currently having to complete itself naturally. When somebody is "stuck" in something like depression or sadness, its as if the normal processing of their emotional state has become stallled. Trying to just "slam the transmission" forward into "cheerful" doesn't work, and often just annoys people.

    Getting "unstuck" from something involves a willingness on the part of the individual to experience whatever is present -- fear, anger, hurt, shame, whatever. They have to move through the emotional "map" as it were, and someone who cares and is really listening can be helpful just by listening. You don't have to know what to do about their problem, and you should never try to fix it or make it go away, or minimize their pain. Just by being there, you're reducing their sense of isolation and giving them an opportunity to see themselves through your eyes a bit.

    The problem we have with doing this is that it takes courage to sit with someone else who is in pain and "share" their pain. Its as if their pain "gets on us"; we feel their frustration, their anger, their hurt, etc. This is actually a good thing, it happens because we aren't really separate from each other. But it can be hard to just sit there and be with someone who's in pain. We want to escape the pain, so we try to make it better for them. But that doesn't help.

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  • by hershey_squirter_ on August 7th, 2006

    hershey_squirter_

    There is no best way that can apply to everyone, it just depends on the individual. I do have some suggestions, but I can't say if any of them are the best for your friend. One way to cheer people up is to just be there, the simple company of a friend can cheer some people up. Go out with them and do something fun to get their minds off their troubles. Giving them a surprise gift, flowers, a card, whatever. A good joke cheers alot of people up too. But if your friend is actually clinically depressed then he/she will need the help of doctor and medicine and a joke is not going to help much. I just assumed you used the word "depression" loosely. But good luck cheering them up.

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  • by highandbuy on November 3rd, 2011

    highandbuy

    Make them laugh. Shouldn't that be obvious? :)

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  • by Sweet T on June 9th, 2008

    Sweet T

    Your friend, needs to get professional help for her Chronic Depression (Dysthymia), That is the best way, take her to her doctor visit.



    Dysthymia, sometimes referred to as chronic depression, is a less severe form of depression. With dysthymia, the depression symptoms can linger for a long period of time, perhaps two years or longer. Those who suffer from dysthymia are usually able to function adequately but might seem consistently unhappy..


    What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Dysthymia?

    The symptoms of dysthymia are the same as those of major depression but not as intense and include the following:

    * Persistent sad or empty feeling
    * Difficulty sleeping (sleeping too much or too little)
    * Insomnia (early morning awakening)
    * Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness
    * Feelings of guilt
    * Loss of interest or the ability to enjoy oneself
    * Loss of energy or fatigue
    * Difficulty concentrating, thinking or making decisions
    * Changes in appetite (overeating or loss of appetite)
    * Observable mental and physical sluggishness
    * Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
    * Thoughts of death or suicide

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  • by Sixty B - Commander Topcoat on June 9th, 2008

    Sixty B - Commander Topcoat

    You can't put that on your shoulders. If your friend is constantly depressed, he/she should probably seek counseling. You can do things to cheer people up, and that is very sweet of you. But you can't have the burden of trying to fight that huge uphill battle on your shoulders.

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  • by shipo231 on November 3rd, 2011

    shipo231

    make them feel really special and try to get them out the house and go do something fun w/ u and some frends

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  • by TenSixths on November 3rd, 2011

    TenSixths

    Love them, even when they feel they don't deserve it and especially when you don't feel they deserve it.

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  • by abang69 on November 3rd, 2011

    abang69

    My answer is too dirty for public posting.

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  • by LovelyLacey on April 12th, 2011

    LovelyLacey

    a glass of wine and a sympathetic ear is sometimes all it takes!

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  • by applepie on September 13th, 2008

    applepie

    First, you want to try and find out why your friend is so upset. If your friend decides to tell you do not judge him/her, help him/her. Maybe there is something going on in her life that is making her feel depressed. If she is seriously depressed she willneed an understnading friend to help her get through and even bring up going to a doctor to see if there is anything they can do to make him/her less depressed. Help him/her through, try cheering your friend up, don't judge, don't ditch your friend. It may be a lot to take on but it can't be much more than what your friend is going through

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  • by keymaster on August 22nd, 2008

    keymaster

    a smile and a hug.
    and that look in your eyes.

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  • by Sodapop on August 20th, 2008

    Sodapop

    Honey, thanx for asking. I sing to him lol and cook and give him a massage and curse the world when he's down.

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  • by Little Miss Dangerous on June 9th, 2008

    Little Miss Dangerous

    Engage them in activities that naturally raise spirits biochemically. Laughter is a proven mood lifter, as is exercise. In fact, regular intense exercise has been medically proven to be at least as effective as anti-depressants. Natural methods will allow them to work through any emotional difficulties while helping to lessen the physical and emotional symptoms of depression.

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  • by llelyn on June 9th, 2008

    llelyn

    If you friend is constantly depressed he/she may be clinically depressed. If this is the case you will not be able to cheer them up and they should see a doctor. Your friend might need medication or counselling and you could encourge that. Make sure this person is not exploiting you by always trying to make you sympathetic which might be the case.

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  • by Bella Numero Uno on June 9th, 2008

    Bella Numero Uno

    i like to give my friends lil strip shows now and then

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  • by Namaste formerly future_health_educator on August 7th, 2006

    Namaste formerly future_health_educator

    They probably don't like being depressed either. My only suggestion is to be there for them and if it gets to much then just take a break and do something with someone else.

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  • by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on August 21st, 2009

    TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

    food, video games, and female companionship are general things that work for me... the one thing specific to me that can eliminate any depression is a mechanical task... as long as I am fixing something or designing and building something to solve a problem nothing else exists.... I can even forget about eating I get so focussed. and the sense of accomplishing or learning something is great too

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  • by dr james on September 12th, 2008

    dr james

    volunteer at a needy organization and have them come with you.
    best way to treat depression is to think of others in worse shape and help them

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  • by Shlingslayer on June 8th, 2008

    Shlingslayer

    Ask what's wrong, go through it all, no judgements or comments just listen. Then focus on what they got going in life. Say that you'll be there for them. Use a joke that they can't resist smiling too. Icecream, it works.

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  • by Ms.A on November 3rd, 2011

    Ms.A

    Try to get them to giggle alittle or slap fight them.

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  • by TattooMama on April 12th, 2011

    TattooMama

    Sometimes it's just listening and being there for someone.

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  • by Count Orlok on April 12th, 2011

    Count Orlok

    Sometimes just spending time with them.

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  • by Hannah on June 9th, 2008

    Hannah

    Let them know that you'll always be there, through thick and thin, and that you'll never judge them.Ask if they would like to share what is causing the problem(s), and how you could help. Saying these simple things could change their day, or life!

    Once, after watching something scary with my friend, I couldn't sleep. We were having a sleepover, so at 2:00 AM, I woke her up to tell her I couldn't sleep. She told me that everything would be okay, and I fell asleep right after. This is just one example of what a few words can do for your friend. I hope she will be more positive soon. ♥

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  • by sillibilli on June 9th, 2008

    sillibilli

    Help them find something to be excited about-a hobby, exercise, anything that will keep their mind off negative things.

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  • by HelpingHand on August 21st, 2009

    HelpingHand

    The best thing I can share with you from experience to cheer your friend up is to be there for him/her no matter what. Hang out, talk, listen to music, whatever they enjoy doing go do it with them. You can't fix your friends problems but you can certinly help get them through their hard times by just being there and showing that you care. While you are cheering them up offer to help them find some counciling and if they say they don't want to go to counciling just tell them that is completely their choice and that if they changed their mind you would support them and help them out anyway you can. Then they know that you are there for them.

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  • by Neal_K on December 29th, 2010

    Neal_K

    You have to beat the winter blues & take them shopping & offer them to buy them lunch, If they want to play ten pin bowling & take them ten pin bowling or take them to the cienma to watch a film.

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  • by jonboi420 on September 12th, 2008

    jonboi420

    Give them lots and lots of free weed they will b too stoned to b depressed...

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  • by frequentuser on June 9th, 2008

    frequentuser

    WOW!!! you wouldn't want him to drag you down with him would you? i'm surprised you didn't just dump him.

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  • by buffalovirgo on August 21st, 2009

    buffalovirgo

    i little bit of ganja never hurts

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