I always want to put really expensive items in other people's trolleys

99 cent store: "HOW MUCH IS THIS?"....."well how much is this?" "Hey excuse me, sorry to bother you again but how much is this?"

Have a picnic in the local supermarket. When the shop assistant asks if your gonna pay for that stuff, you look at him blankly and say "No, I never pay", and continue with your feast. Most people are so shocked they dont know what to say :D

Many of the following should translate: Ways to Have an Extra-Specially Fun Time At Wal-Mart! 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Run up to an employee, preferably a male, while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, "I need some tampons". 5. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "I smell sex and candy". 8. Walk up to an employee, and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've go a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 9. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off, and turn the volumes to "10." 10. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 11. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 13. Put M&M's on layaway. 14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath 16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 18. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 19. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with GI Joes vs. the X-Men. 21. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 22. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 23. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms. 24. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible." 25. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 26. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 27. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "Pick me!! Pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them. 28. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 29. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 30. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. ** If you WORK there: HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE 1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) 2. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom." 3. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this. 4. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document. 5. Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com 6. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that. 7. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement. 8. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. 9. Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many." 10. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. 11. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children. 12. Send email messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc ... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none ... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that." 13. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.