ANSWERS: 12
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If he actually said he doesn't want to hurt you in case something happens with someone else, he has no right being engaged. Engagement is a promise to marry. It means that of all others, he has chosen you and pledges his love and life to you. Anything short of that is just dating.
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Yeah, loves you and wants to be with you, but expecting for somehting to happen with someone else?? So he DOESN'T love you, in actuality he wants to be with someone else, and he's warning you about it ahead of time. If someone cheats on you it's a terrible thing and I'd feel sorry for you. If someone tells you in ADVANCE that he's going to cheat on you, and you stay with him and let it happen, then take him back when he gets home because he DID tell you first, then you're a naive jerk and wouldn't deserve for anyone to feel sorry for you. Tell him you hope he catches an STD from some foreign barracks ho, and that you'll be engaged to someone ELSE by the time he gets back.
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Depending on your ages, it sounds like a very mature decision. It doesn't sound like there is anyone else, just the upcoming commitment to the Air Force. He may be thinking that the distance and time away from you could lead to YOUR looking for someone else. Also, unless he asked for the ring back, you should take this time apart as a test for the both of you. He said to put things on HOLD not end them. I hope this helps. Good Luck.
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He might have said put things on hold because he didn't want to try and plan a really fast wedding before leaving. Enjoy the time together, then when he gets back then start back up with the marriage stuff. That is if he said it like a normal caring way, not in a break way. As long as you have the ring don't worry. You just might be having a lot on his plate with the whole leaving for awhile thing.
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Im in a relationship with a man in the military. Its very very difficult. It takes so much strength and commitment. Maybe he is just considering how hard that the future will be and wanting to give you your freedom while he is gone. Its a very tough situtation, but if he's not 100% sure he wants to stay together then putting things on hold may be the right thing. I can tell you the BEST way to test love is distance. His time away will show you if you two are right for each other. -Proud Army Girlfriend <3
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DAYUM - I would hug him and thank him for truly loving me. The truth is painful in the beginning. I respect anyone for being honest(even thieves). He's right though - He is going away for a while and he is unable to dedicate himself 100% to the relationship. Heck yeah that would suck to hear that from someone you love but the fact still remains. Better him tell you this stuff now than you find out he ran off and married someone over seas and is having his second child months from now.
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I thought this was sweet until the last part of "w/someone else". I was thinking happen as in he gets injured or just the pain of waiting(trust me being far from your love can be worse then a lot of things). If that were the reason I would think he is a sensible guy and cares a lot about you. - With the someone else thing... I think (just my opinion), if he cant control himself and be faithful to you then would that ever change? At least he respects you enough to let you know and you both move on. Then in the end if he comes back and you two get back together I say thats great!
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I think its best to say, he's willing to be all he can be...with other girls. Oh, darn thats the Army slogan, isn't it? What the Air Force slogan? You can have him telling you your the one, while he cheats or you can accept him saying it CLEARLY...he wants to play the field & break up. Cut him loose.
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It is important to keep in mind that he is leaving (left now, right?) for something that will change his life. It is truly the great unknown. He knows there will be high stress and he must spend every moment totally focused on the mission of training - his life and the lives of others may well depend on what he is learning in boot camp. As for being with someone else - not a likely possibility during boot camp. He will have neither the time nor the energy and the girls in boot camp will not have time or energy either. Wait it out and see what happens when he graduates. His feelings may have changed one way or the other to give you a clearer picture. Also, take this time to be thinking about how you fit in to the "Air Force" lifestyle. Are you ready to make the sacrifices military wives must make?
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He's immature, selfish and insensitive. It's up to you what you do knowing that.
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Sounds like he's too immature for a committed relationship if he's already entertaining the possibility of being with someone else while he's gone. He obviously doesn't trust himself which should be a neon red flag to you.
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its over and youve had a lucky escape he obviously doesnt trust himself therefore doesnt think too much of you if he thinks hes going to cheat on you. move on keep your chin up and youll meet someone who actually loves you. good luck
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