If youve been with someone for over a year and they had bi polar disorder would you leave them because you cant deal with their ups and downs?
by 
uraseasquirt
ANSWERS: 13
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That's a tough question. Alot would have to do with whether they were willing to get help. Or if they were getting help, whether they were truly committed to getting better. If the answer to those questions is no, then as tough as it would be, I would hope I'd care enough about myself to leave, letting them know I'd be there to support them, just not living in the same place.
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Some people cope well with their partner's ups and downs. Sometimes so called normal ups and downs can be much the same or worse!
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There are many reasons why you could want to leave someone. It could just be one of the reasons. A person who has not known many people with bipolar disorder, or at least not as a partner, could with time discover their own difficulty to cope with it. Even if a quite strong relationship has developed. And particularly if nothing seems to improve much, your behaviour or his coping with it. In fact, I think that many people have some kind of mild "bipolar disorder", even if was not diagnosed as such. As far as I am concerned, I don't think that I would consider "bipolar disorder" as a reason. I would consider my partner as a whole person, and eventually take a decision because of this. Anyway, I am married with children and I don't have any reason for a separation.
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If their ups and downs make you miserable then leave them, especially if they are not willing to get help. You should enjoy your life, if you don't you should make the necessary changes so that you do.
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perhaps, perhaps not. More importantly, I would be certain of one thing: that there is no shame in leaving somebody because of the mood swings. I would also expect some people to think my leaving was morally and ethically cold and wrong and blah, blah, blah. If anybody tries to tell you similar, respond by saying, he's a free agent so if you feel like that, go and strike up a romance with him. You know, it is incredibly difficult to like, let alone love somebody with this condition. I will admit, that I would not stay or even consider a relationship with somebody who was bi-polar - it would be a recipe for misery and I would have left before it even started. You must always put yourself at the top of your own priority list and that means you have to look after and care for yourself first because you are really the only one that can. If the impact upon you is detrimental to the point your well being is affected, then you have an obligation to yourself to leave - it's called self preservation.
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Being bi polar is not so bad depending on how bad the depression is. I am bi polar and I'm as quiet as a mouse,wouldn't say boo to a ghost. But on the other hand i have learned to deal with it,because i care enough about me to care about other people. Bit of advice find out about it b4 making judgement. SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER? Visit: http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11 SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER? Visit: http://www.bipolarparenting.com HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER? Visit: http://www.survivebipolar.net
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How much do you value the relationship? How severe are the cycles? Frequency of the cycles? Duration? One year is not really much time, but if you have serious doubts already, you should probably go if you don't anticipate improvement. If your friend doesn't get treatment and doesn't want to. Find the best exit and take it.
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as a bipolar 2 person with a girl friend and two children 2 and 4 it wasnt until i looked into my self and realised how my highs and lows effected my partner and kids that i starteed to change until then i blamed my partner for every mood change and i surpose made life hell my point is unless he realises that his mood swings arnt normal and that they effect others close to him then he wont get help the trouble is what goes up must come down and u just dont want to let go of the highs he needs to stay level and get use to life with out the ups and downs if he doe this and u care a lot for him things can be good if he wont even ackkowledge is moods and how they eefect u take it from me he could drag u down to a bad level u can only do so much before u say anoth is anoth good luck and all the best .dave
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i've lost two relationships due to my ups and downs. i don't personally blame someone for not wishing to stay in a relationship with someone like me. they all made an effort at least. now i'm on meds. my current relationship is gonna end soon anyway, but that's for other reasons~
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my husband has bi polar. I didn't think much about it before we were married, I had never seen a bad side of him. Now the last few weeks, he has been flipping out about little things, like we went to pick up my son and there was stuff on the one side of the backseat, and he wanted it moved to the other side of the car, I told him no, my son can go around to the other side, next thing I know we are pulled over and he is walking home!!! Or just now we wanted to go dancing tonight with some friends and he started yelling cuz I wanted to carpool with them. One minute he tells me I am his everything, and the next he can't stand me. HELP!!! He won't take meds cuz he is a truck driver and says he will loose his CDL. Either that or his wife I'm not sure which
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If their disease effected me to the point where it hurt... and they knowing this did nothing on their own to change it or fix it so that we could be together and they constantly blamed everything on their disease. Then yes... I would leave them. If knowing that they are ill, they did their best to help me to understand and did their best to get themselves help reguardlessof the fact that it is in a Bi polar's nature to deny treatment... Despite all that, if they tried... made an effort. No, I wouldn't leave.
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If they don't seek help for it, I would consider leaving them. If you love them, don't enable their behavior if they refuse to seek help.
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it must be really hard being my partner, i suffer from mood swings, bad depression, and terrible anxiety attacks, wont go out many places on my own and stuff. But we still , i hope, have a 100% percent loving, secure and normal relationship, he is my rock and my soulmate because of that, i know for a fact he wouldnt leave me because of 'the bad days', he loves me for who i am .. thank god :)
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