• You cannot force anyone to be a parent. He has parental rights. If he chooses his new wife over his children, that's his choice, no matter how sad and pathetic. Sorry. :-(
  • While I don't think the law can force him to visit, I think your children need to confront him with it openly, and if he still refuses to see them for this other woman, they may find he's not worth their time. This man sounds like he needs to grow some backbone. Maybe admonishment from his own children will at least shame him into doing the right thing.
  • Shameful and horrible. He best not have children with her, it's quite obvious that she thinks of them as objects, not people deserving of lots of love. That's the kind of crap that hurts a person's self-image deeply. Children that are truly valued and love learn that they are worthy of being loved and will grow with a strong sense of self-esteem. Remind their father that the damage he does today will be felt for years to come. Man, now I'm really mad!
  • Don't look for him your kids don't deserve a father like that close to them. I grow up with irresponsible father and most of the time is better for the kids this way. He's old enough to take his own decisions and he chose his wife. Don't worry, He'll pay sooner or later. Just be happy that you don't have to share your kids. Believe me is a headache to have your ex close to you
  • First, it sounds like he has a horrible new wife. She is most likely doing that out of jealousy towards you. She feels threatened by his love for them (and maybe for you too). That's a shame she is so immature. Honestly, I don't think there is any legal way you can MAKE him visit them; and trust my hun, you don't want to. It's a real shame that you feel that you have to force him to be a father, but trust me - your kids will know you were always there for them.
  • There are always two sides to this story. Where I do not understand why he is not visiting the kids, I would also like to hear his side. Are the children acting badly towards his new wife? I know he should get handle on it if that is the case since he is the grown-up but maybe this is the only way he knows to deal with this situation. After all, he has a right to have a life as well and deserves happiness and so do you and his new wife. Believe me it can be a real pain in the ass to always deal with a jealous Ex and mean stepchildren as well and hurt your new relationship to the point that it destroys it.... again, everyone has a right to be happy. Your Ex husband as well, if he chooses his new wife over his children regardless for what reason, that is his choice, no one elses.
  • G'day Jennifer, Thank you for your question. There probably isn't a law although family law differs from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. However, you should get your kids to write to him to say how much they miss him. Other than that, there isn't much you can do other than you find a man more worthy of your and their love. Regards
  • All right..I may get whooped for this one, but I gotta say it. I'm a RESPONSIBLE father of 3 and my dad deserted me when I was a small child. Give me this guy's address and I'll go smack him into shape. We'll call it 'the law of deadbead dads'. I can't say how much it angers me to hear things like this...
  • There is no law that can force him. But you can appeal to his conscience and hope that he does the right thing. Here is a link to an article that you should read and print out for your ex husband. The next time that you see him give it to him. Maybe after reading it he will see just what he is doing. If you can not deliver it in person then send him the link in an email. If his conscience gets to him he may just come around and start being a Daddy again.
  • This all depends on what state you live in and what state your divorce that included the child visitation and custody part of your divorce was filed. Under certain state rules, if the dad is ordered to visit the children at certain times and on certain days, then, yes, he could be forced to abide by the courts ruling by law or he will be in contempt of court. If you choose to take him to court, he could get put in jail for not following the order.
  • sadly no. you cannot make him visit the children. i went through the same thing with my ex husband and his new wife (we use to be good friends). he stopped seeing our child for 6months because the new wife didnt want our son around their new baby. depending on the state that you live in, you can get him for abandonment. usually its about 6mos to a year. you will still receive child support, but he will have no legal rights to them. you will be the one he has to go to see the children if he choses to do so again. you get to call all the shots. if a man doesnt want to see his kids, he isnt going to. you can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink...get my drift. anyhow, hes a piece of shit just for doing what he did. my exhubs family made some threats and magically he started seeing our son again, but im looking for him to stop anyday now,. he is making exscuses not to. so dont fret, its his loss not yours. just nail his ass to the wall in court. keep records and documents, phone records, everything is important. keep a journal and good luck.
  • Do you know a saying "what goes around, comes around". Today he thinks he has everything and doesn't need his kids, but wait for the time. He'll be begging at your feet one day for this. You make sure your happy and kids are well taken care. Mine does see kids, but my kids don't want to see him, because his abusive nature. Don't worry. As long as you are there for them, your kids will know who is truly their parent.
  • Aww im so sorry :( this really upsets me whenh this happens,i know what you are going through because this has happened to me as well.You cant make your ex see his children,but its his loss.Try not to make a big thing of it in front of the kids,kids are very resiliant and in time they will see for themselfs what is what.
  • Actually, I am tempted to say that any father who would allow ANYONE to "forbid" him to visit his own children doesn't need to be around the children. His lack of a spinal cord might rub off! : (
  • There are always two sides to the story, my husband and I have stopped contact to his 2 children by a previous marriage. The reason being that the children are mentally abused by their mother before and after they stay with us. They are also smacked (which although legal in the UK - we do not agree with as a good tool for disipline). When we have the children she calls our house, screaming, and raving and if we don't answer or hang up she comes down and snatches the children. These lovely kids are stressed out to the max every time they visit they are wondering when she will come again and fly into a rage(she is violent to my husband infront of the kids). Her abuse of the children is exasperbated by them seeing us, we love them dearly and have tried to gain full custody but they have said that they want to stay with their Mom and that they think this is NORMAL behaviour. My husband made the heart wrenching decision to stop contact as it was not fair for the children to endure systematic abuse and punishment for seeing us.
  • This may sound cruel but you have to think of what is best for your children, if the visitation was court ordered I suggest going back to court for a modification of the order possibly terminating his parental rights, depending on what the court feels is best for the children. If the visitations are not court ordered then I suggest getting a court order establishing visitation or lack there of to protect your children. The children need a father who will be there for them not a man who is in and out of their lives causing them pain.
  • I think that it would be better if you killed his paternal rights. Abandoning children is horrible as I'm sure you know, but if he decides to be an on again off again dad then it will be much much worse. He's hurt your children once, don't allow him to do it again. Children are precious and yours deserve better.
  • As long as he pays child support, there is nothing you can do. Kids will get over hurt when they see that he's henpecked and doesn't deserve their respect.
  • You can't. There is not such law. I feel very badly for your children.
  • I agree there are to side to a story but the new wife knew he had kids when they met or started dating and in the end there his kids he helped make them not her and they are his to take care of my father did they same to me and my brother And now I thank god that I have a real father figuers in my life it took me a good while to get over it and to forgive him but I did and I feel much better
  • Send him these All Children Deserve Two Parents Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears has noted, children born to unmarried women and to those in cohabiting relationships “must often overcome increased risks of poverty, education failure, child abuse, delinquency, emotional distress and mental illness.”…….the lack of a father’s guidance in children’s lives is a major cause of their suffering. “Marriage is the best child welfare, crime prevention, anti-poverty program we have,” Fortune Magazine - Fatherless Families & Crime “Ominously, the most reliable predictor of crime is neither poverty nor race but growing up fatherless.” Stanford University - Divorce, Nontraditional Families, and Its Consequences For Children "We know that children of divorced parents have more emotional and behavioral problems and do less well in school than children who live with both their Parent." 10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives Dr. Laura Schlessinger Fatherless America : Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem David Blankenhorn Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • I agree that his wife is being ridiculous. even if the kids were being rude or difficult towards her, she knew he had kids and she willingly became a step-mom. I am a step-mom and I hate the mother of my step daughter because she has been in rehab and wont work and refuses to further herself and at times I wonder if it would be easier not to deal with her by not dealing with my step-daughter. But every time I look at the way my husband loves his child, and every time she wants me to hold her and not her dad, I remember that we are here for her. she is not meant to make our lives easier and that's a simlpe fact. she has no control over how she turns out at this age, we do. And if we abandon her now, she will be disadvantaged without being capable of doing something about what is working against her.

Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy