How do you deal with the loss of a friend?
by 
PerfectlyFlawed.
ANSWERS: 10
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I wrote a poem about her and sent it to her family , that helped a little , and then took time to remember all the good times , one small step at a time - She died Jan 15th 2007 she lived next door ( we shared a duplex ) and I also came here to AB and asked for strength from my fellow Answerbaggers --- Here is the small poem I wrote : I peered out my window - To see your porch light on Pain ran through my heart Just knowing that your gone I'll carry your words of wisdom Everywhere I go Your such an inspiration That I truly know - Thank you my neighbor Thank you my friend I pray this to you And - With all my love I send - May the Lord hold your hands , my friend
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I was devastated when I lost my best friend. It took me a lot of years to stop looking for her everywhere I went, to stop thinking it was her who was calling or beeping the horn or banging on the door. I came on ab and met a lot of special people and lots of friends and it doesn't hurt so much now, when I think of the one that I lost.
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I usually don't get over anything. I put those kind of things in the back of my mind.
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I cried a lot (still do sometimes, and it's been over 2 years). I stay close to his family, because it helps to be with people who loved him as much as I did. And, I talk about him -- the things he did that made me laugh, his compassion for others, his strength and courage -- it helps me to talk about him.
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Ohh god.Thank you so much that hasn't happened to me yet.
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I have lost someone very dear, a daughter, but not a friend. My philosophy is the same now as before, fill your life with great memorable moments, have the best relationship possible while together. When the time comes you will have grief, but not regrets.
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Sometimes you never really do...
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It's just as painful as losing family, actually. And something you never completely get over. My friend Keith had a cancerous spinal tumor removed. He was paralyzed and told he never walk again. He went through the chemo, learned how to walk again, and looked just as healthy as ever. Then, one day he came down sick with menengitis and slipped into a coma. They swelling in his brain was too much, and they couldn't get it to stop. He passed the next morning at the age of 33. That was in Sept of '04. He was like another brother to me. I made friends with some of his friends and family, and I try to stay in touch with them as much as possible. But it's still painful. I have an "in memory of..." charm on my Italian charm bracelet...right next to the one honoring my father.
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... a brief moment of mourning, followed by long moments of joyfull memories of all the good times ...
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I had a former boy friend who died a little over 18 years ago in a house fire. I don't feel that engulfing sadness anymore and I know he would not want that. I was very sad at first (we were still friends and he was friends with my husband as well), but eventually I was able to talk about him and the great fun times we had. Now I always smile when I think of him. My ex-husband died a year and a half ago and that has been more traumatic because not only did I have my own grief to deal with, but also my children's grief. What is important, I think, is that the people who loved us truly would not want us to go on and on feeling sad. Even though I knew Blank Savage only briefly and I felt overwhelmed by his death, I know he would want us to feel joy for him and to celebrate living each day. And that's what we have a responsibility to them and ourselves to do. Put yourself in there place and what would you want the people who love you to go on doing?
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