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by jtolb65 on December 15th, 2007
That's a pretty vast generalization. Many people have issues with sharing deep emotions with others stemming from possibly a less-than-stellar childhood or past trauma. Maybe there wasn't a huge traumatic experience, but they just never learned how to open up.
We're not all like that...but some of us are. I've also met women who fit your description perfectly as well.
Points up because I hate seeing a question with negative points and no answers. I think that's just rude.
Be well.
by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on December 15th, 2007
You must attract bastards. No offense, I mean I don't know you or anything, but, usually bitches attract bastards.
by LadyLuck on December 15th, 2007
Same reason all us women are selfish bitches who care only for money and things a man can do for us, I suppose.
by Lemonyellow Di Vintage on December 15th, 2007
excellent, another blanket generalization
"to generalize is to be an idiot" william blake
have a nice day
by Reptar on July 26th, 2009
I guess because we have been labeled and stereotyped as such.
by Nasiswand on June 17th, 2009
They're not. The better question would be why do you attract men that are selfish, independent, and emotionless? Wait, why do you have independent listed as if were a negative trait?
by Mimi..smiling...there is no Option Two.. on December 15th, 2007
ah, so it's no "all men", it's your baby's father - then why don't you just say so? And stop being so rude to all the other guys around here who are probably quite decent, family-loving, law-abiding blokes who haven't done a thing to hurt you in any way.
Jeez, if you can't make a decision for yourself and your kid in private, at least do it without bitching about strangers you know nothing about!
by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on December 15th, 2007
Not all men are like that.
by EL1 2 on December 15th, 2007
Why are women so selfish, needy, and most of the time completely unpredictable?
I think everyone needs to stop generalizing! As soon as you're done with your super-feminist phase, we can talk rationally about your problems.
Most people are selfish. Not just men.
How is being independent a bad thing? I would say it is better than being clingy.
Men often are hesitant to show emotions because our society imposes the notions that men are rational and women are over-emotional. By being emotional, is supposedly makes one less manly. I don't buy that but many men feel uncomfortable sharing their emotions.
by Dmitri on June 17th, 2009
Man are not geared towards emotion as women are, simply. Emotion is often thought of as a sign of weakness. And rather to risk being weak or being perceived as weak, they choose the other road, as you elaborated upon in your question.
However, a real man can be emotional. Once he sees the beauty in it, and can control it, keeping it in moderation, life can and will be that much more fulfilling.
by Ditto on June 17th, 2009
Wow! Do I really come across like that?
by H.. on June 17th, 2009
because that is the way they are made to be, but i guess not all...
they do care bust just don't know how to show emotion and they always like there independence...
by tempus on June 17th, 2009
You got yourself a selfish man but most men are not like him. Please don't generalize. +4
by Anonymous on June 17th, 2009
Because they feel that they have to be strong and people think that they have to always be in control.
They think they can do everything by themselves. :)
by helloman on April 1st, 2009
We just expect all women are going to be manipulative cunts to us so we keep a wall up. I am always right...
by Captain_B on December 15th, 2007
What a stereotype!
by BabyRottie on December 15th, 2007
Most men aren't like that at all!!! You're just really upset right now, and that's understandable. But venting like that on AnswerBag could hurt a lot of the guys' feelings on here... No, I am not a guy, but your question just struck me as really unfair to them...
by Jewel on December 15th, 2007
So, who was the dude who pissed you off?
by josie III on July 27th, 2009
What exactly is the problem with each of these?
by BrianP on July 26th, 2009
because thats the way we are. if you dont like it you can go lesbian, heck most women are almost lesbian anyways so why dont yo udo us a favor and go find out the pleaures of muff diving.
by Anonymous on June 17th, 2009
- definitely not all of us are selfish.
- its better to be independent than co-dependent
- we can control our emotions better, we are also more introverted when it comes to expressing our feelings, why? i'm not sure.
by ladyshakespeare on June 17th, 2009
girl....youre gonna get us all in trouble
by ThatGuyTed on June 17th, 2009
To balance out women who are needy, spendthrifts, and cry all the time.
Men take hardship as a matter of course, because if we know if we sit and cry about it the hardship will kill us and all those we are responsible for (Wife and children). I guess he's not like before because your average guy can get out all thier emotions in 3 or 4 conversations. After that, there is simply nothing left to talk about. There are exceptions for guy who are emotional wrecks, but you'll find them rather useless, and unable to cope with daily stresses.
Sharing emotions WITH him is fine, he will be there to be the pedastal that holds you up. He feels like the support structure, if he's not the rock (Not Dwayne Jhonson), who will be the support?
by Blue Tiger. on June 17th, 2009
Men are from mars and women are from Venus. They both are born to play different roles in life, their way of thinking is different, an idea of perfect life is different. at times there are people who's ideas, way of thinking and idea of lifestyle match. ladies and gentleman, that is when world sees a great love story.
by Timjon on June 17th, 2009
In defense for most of the men who show no emotion: if there mothers stopped telling them that big boys don't cry maybe more of them would. Our culture, including most women teach boys that they are to be tough, macho, and "suck it up," whenever they encounter pain and uncertainty. So why is it so surprising that they only express, or in this case don't express, what they have only been taught from childhood? You can't have it both ways.
by Robert_Nomad on June 17th, 2009
Not all of us are. Some of us never even get the chance to be recognized as being nice guys. Some of us are ignored, and if you're an autistic the non-verbal, verbal, and the social naunces can be quite a painful thing for us to do. We want to communicate to show that we are nice, be we just have a hard time expressing ourselves. As to why NT males are selfish, and show no emotion. I would guess we we're raised in an environment not to in order it showed weakness and be exploited, and slowly lose trust with people hint, the independence. We aren't born slefish or with no emotion, it was raised through us in years of systematic abuse.
by unknown on June 17th, 2009
Hmmm. I don't know that all men are like that. I mean I like to guy bash with the best of them but not all are like that. My bro isn't like that.
by alfugazi on June 17th, 2009
Me selfish? I dont think so....No emotuion from me? Thats not correct missy....
You see you have been dating junior members of our species. They are the same ones that get drunk at fraternity parties and hit on every girl in the place and turn around the next day and tell you how much you mean to them. Us older gentlemen are more refined, have retirement plans, and live in nice neighborhoods. We drive decent cars and drink cabernet or merlot and actually pay for our dates dinners without expecting anything in return. Yes us older gents we know how to treat the ladies. You just havent found the right match dear. Generalizing like that makes you sound a tad ignorant.
by angelheart1 on June 17th, 2009
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 7 months in a long distance relationship. In the beginning he used to share his heart with me all the time (every day)...after the 2nd time I saw him and returned to my home state, he did a 180 degree change on me...has not left me...doesn't desire to break up...but now, sharing emotions is sappy to him. He's completely different from the way he started...can anyone tell me why? He still says he wants to see me and loves me, etc..but not like before and when I try to find out "why" he gets really upset with me. I just don't want to get hurt!
by justme32 loves the weekends on December 15th, 2007
Every man I have ever been with has been like this. I really know how to pick them.
by -O-uknow on December 15th, 2007
Independence is manly and an overabundance of emotion is weak. As far as selfishness goes.. well no one's perfect ;)
by Shanel with an S on July 26th, 2009
b/c they were taught to not cry and be a man when they're kids.
by Frank on July 26th, 2009
men are def. not selfish and independent is a good thing.
by Merriment on July 26th, 2009
Gee, maybe it's because they fear being judged if they reveal any "weakness".
by gorgeousG on July 26th, 2009
who really cares whether they're all of the above, not even worth wasting your time on.
by klkl on April 24th, 2009
..I know a man like this...he is quite selfish, and chooses to keep his emotions (towards me anyways) very hidden...and yet, I find myself endlessly drawn to him.......being such an emotional being myself, I guess I like the challenge...
Not all men are like this though...as I am extremely independent and sometimes like to have a crazee partner follow my lead...
by Edward_L6109 on March 27th, 2011
We wouldn't be where we are today if men weren't selfish because men will obsess and do almost do anything to get their interests even if it isn't what is emotionally correct this causes men to be such great leaders because they don't act as emotionally as women (this is also why men hate chick flicks) and they make the hard decision and this can effect relationships because that is how they did things in other areas of life.
Basically men are selfish because that is what it takes to get by in this world look at presidents, bosses, wealthiest people in the world and even smartest people in the world you will find that these are mostly men and it affects relationships because selfishness worked before.
Testosterone and femenissim did not influence this answer.
by Wisegirl on April 9th, 2011
I've had a fair number of relationships with men--their doing, not mine, because I would have preferred to be with one man my whole life, but none of them lasted. I believe it is reasonable for intelligent people to make certain generalizations, because the fact is, there ARE patterns of behavior that we would be foolish and/or dishonest to ignore. Though the men I knew and loved were from from vastly different backgrounds and with different personalities, two patterns held absolutely constant for all except one: (1) each one was initially passionate, seductive, eager, and romantic toward me, and (2) as the relationship matured, when the natural problems of life (death in the family, emotional pain or need) arose, or when it was time to make a commitment, grow up, and settle down, each one morphed into a world-class selfish jerk who feared commitment and cared nothing about anyone or anything except basically finding the equivalent of a sex-service worker to indulge his sexual interests. The news is filled with countless high-profile women and celebrities who've been through the same thing. That's simply a fact, not an opinion--just look at the number of sexual crimes and infidelities committed by men that are documented daily. Who are the murderers and child molesters in this society? Men. Who are the cheaters and leavers? Nine times out of ten, men. Even the posts in response to this question are a microcosm of truth. (Clue: the guys on this site who write abusive, foul-mouthed, nasty, or touchy and bad-tempered posts are jerks, so stay far away from that type.) I think the answer is the times we live in. We live in a vulgar age when sex is readily accessible, and so virtuous women have lost their primary source of power over men, while porn stars and whores have been elevated to the highest levels of pop culture and stardom (think Charlie Sheen). In the old days, most men were held in check by the fact that marriage was the only acceptable route to a sexual relationship. As they cleverly and I think deliberately broke down that barrier through the sexual "revolution"--Hugh Hefner's Playboy culture and magazines like Cosmopolitan telling women that "good girls DO"--women's power was eventually eroded to the point where they had to give it up in order to HOLD a man, with so much competition around for men's interests. Yes, there will always be a minority of "gems"--men who, through genes or good breeding, are loyal, loving, emotionally available, faithful, etc. But I think the culture and society we live in determines the way the majority of people behave, and the fact is, we are not raising good men now. We are raising them to be selfish and independent (in a bad way) and sexually demanding, to abandon women and situations that don't suit their culturally determined "preferences" the way you'd throw out an old suit of clothes. And this attitude is rubbing off on women, too--the selfish ones you see are basically imitating men, figuring if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. The bottom line is that marriage and monogamy are the most reliable ways to ultimate individual happiness, stability of society, and the healthy raising of children...especially girls, who are devastated by their fathers' infidelity and are growing up hating themselves, starving, cutting, and becoming promiscuous in their early teens. Raising bad men destroys women, children, and society.
by anonymous on December 15th, 2007
I don't think this is true of men in general. I think it's true of some humans. The reason why would vary from person to person.
by Nice Guy In Bay Area on July 27th, 2009
Because men have a different kind of a brain, wired differently, than women! Men have neuro functions that are focused in specific areas. A woman's brain has functions that are more scattered and involve different areas of the brain. Women process information and visual cues differently! Women see more color than men do. To quote Jack Lemon, from the movie "Some Like It Hot," "It's like a whole other sex!"
by Thankful Mom on July 27th, 2009
They show emotion all right, but only to certain people they actually spend time with.
The rest are basically out of the loop.
by .avallach on July 29th, 2009
Because we're not women.
Except men are often taught to be selfish by women. Just as women are often taught to be selfish by men. When one person in a relationship gets selfish, regardless of gender, the other usually does too.
We are independent because we generally want to be the provider. It's part of what makes men, men.
We show emotion less than women, which is, again, a natural difference between the sexes. If we showed our emotions the same way women do, you'd probably be asking why you can't find a real man.
Make an effort to understand men and see them for what they are instead of trying to relate to them the way you would women, and you might be surprised at the results.
I'm a big fan of Alison Armstrong, who is a genius when it comes to helping men & women understand each other better. Her goal is not to 'fix' men (or women), but to help us understand each other. http://understandmen.com
by Anonymous on July 29th, 2009
That's a pretty bad generalization.
I'm not a selfish person, I like to give and do things for people. I can be independent, but there is nothing wrong with being independent is there. And some guys are just uncomfortable with showing emotions. While others like me have no problem having a little cry, even in front of friends.
by jodi.dayhoff on November 30th, 2010
men think that they have to be macho to be considered men. Where do they get their info from another man? I think women like the men who communicate and do show some kind of emotion, It doesnt feel too good when your emotional and they just stare at you. Drop the act and hold us for goodness sake you might find out it feel good back and you might do it more often. try it and see then how your woman reacts.
by Hooper on July 29th, 2009
Wow! Mostly cynics answering this one. I'd say this is a loaded question asked by a jaded person that's had more than a few bad relationships and not enough good ones. There are plenty of good men in the world. Maybe you just need to try meeting them somewhere besided the bars or clubs.
by unknown on July 29th, 2009
it just may be in some of their nature & they can not help it....i guess .
by MrJosh on July 27th, 2009
Boys are taught at a young age that to show emotion is to show weakness.
by Nomadic Heretic on July 27th, 2009
Because those particular men have experiences and knowledge which leads them to act in sych fashion.
Personally i see nothing wrong with being a bit selfish because its a natural instinct.
Independent is a good quality because it means a person is in a relationship because they want to be and not because they cannot exist without one.
I show the emotions I feel.
But being that i have never been in love and never will be because my spirit cannot grasp anything outside of general human compassion, it seems to some that I am cold.
by Radha on July 28th, 2009
I think it's because. Men have no real purpose anymore if women need sex the can use u men as toys or sperm donors. Men want to be needed they all want all the power and the acclaim they are all silver back gorilla's. If they are not like this i bet people call them gay. Men try to fool women to think not all of them are the same (that is the funniest part). Men are getting worse as the Times get more worse. I am not gay but it sure looks good. Why should i have to raise a grown man that has bigger feet than me. Men like u in the begining because they have to pull u in to be the slave hand in the bed room and the kitchen. All men really care about is what the guy next door thinks of them. That is the truth. And if u think it's not ask ur girlfriend I bet she would agree.
by Millenium - The Mysterious M. . . GONE! on July 27th, 2009
Not. . . . . . .ALL. . . . . .men are!
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