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by Answer Rabbit on April 3rd, 2006

Answer Rabbit

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How can I know if people are honest in their online adult dating profiles?

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Answers. 9 helpful answers below.

  • by Frogger7777 on April 6th, 2006

    Frogger7777

    "How can you tell if they are lying?" Count the ways:

    Reasons people lie:

    To avoid conflict.
    To avoid the consequences of their behavior.
    To postpone having to make changes in lifestyle.
    To hide something they did or did not do.
    To avoid rejection.
    To be in control of a situation.
    To avoid being embarrassed.
    To make themselves appear more successful, good, or talented than they really are.
    All make terrific reasons for people to lie online.

    How to detect lying:

    A truthful person will be "congruent." That means that all the information they give out -- their words, body language, they way they live and dress, everything -- fits together and contains no contradictions. People who lie will be incongruent in some way.

    Here's what to watch out for:

    1. How they use words, written, on the phone, or in person:

    Talking faster or slower.
    Changes in voice pitch.
    Taking charge of conversation, attempts to distract you.
    Continual denying of accusations.
    Unusual voice fluctuations, word choice, sentence structure.
    Stalling the conversation by repetitive use of pauses and comments like "um" or "you know."
    Lack of use of contractions.
    Prefers emphasizing "not" when talking.
    Being extremely defensive.
    Saying "Trust me."

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  • by RedJohn on April 3rd, 2006

    RedJohn

    Until you actually meet the individual in person and have the time to assess their personality, you have no way of determining how truthful they are. None. They remain strangers until you meet them yourself. Anything you do up to that point is based on trust alone.

    Personally, I am less liable to trust someone who I know only from the internet, given the extent and frequency of certain behaviours that some indulge themselves in because of the anonymity the internet offers. One should be cautious when meeting any individual and one should be doubly cautious when meeting internet acquaintances.

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  • by Jenniferocious on April 3rd, 2006

    Jenniferocious

    Sadly, you can't know. The best strategy is to be cautious in all online communications with people that you don't know in person. Now, I'm not saying that everyone out there is there to mislead you... just that there are people out there who are not quite so honest...

    Lots of people are not out there to blatently lie about themselves, but are not the most self-confident people, so they try to "enhance" themselves slightly in those profiles to make them sound better than they are, without posting something completely untrue...

    Unfortunately, there is no good way to find out whether someone has done that or not until you meet them and get to know them. I just say, be cautious, don't give out too much personal information, and get to know someone the best you can before trusting them too much.

    ______________________________________________
    Darklord....How is my answer completely incorrect? You can't know if people are honest. If you want to go around running background checks on every profile you see to find out if the information stated corresponds to a real person, be my guest. Most of the time there isn't enough info (real, or made up) in a profile to run a check. First name and state of residence is all I put out there. Good luck running a check with that. My advice stands as it is.

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  • by Hastic on April 14th, 2008

    Hastic

    set a friend/enemy up to meet em first, and if they come up missing, u know not to meet that one.

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  • by notquitered on April 14th, 2008

    notquitered

    When you meet them.

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  • by Butterfly on April 8th, 2008

    Butterfly

    you will never know... even if you met them personally... these dating sites are not safe...

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  • by UneFille on April 8th, 2008

    UneFille

    You can't. Must be content with the possibility of total online dishonesty if you are to venture there.

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  • by teddybear on April 14th, 2008

    teddybear

    in my opinion..the internet is just like paper..you can write anything on it.my advice would be stay away from dating situations like this..go out and meet someone you can acutally see.meeting someone one the net is dangerouse...

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  • by Jennifer May on April 3rd, 2006

    Jennifer May

    You can't know. You must make an informed judgement. That may include meeting the person and drawing your own conclusion. While some may be just as they state they are, others may be the complete polar opposite and may describe themselves as they wish they were. Some are serious about finding love online, others just wish to live in a fantasy world. Always be careful when meeting people offline, meet in a public place, maybe even take a friend.

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