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by nikibrooke on November 19th, 2007

nikibrooke

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Please help me someone, seriously. I have an 18 year old son. He is one of 4. My husband travels a lot. I do not have much help. How do I control a disrespectful 18 yr old who busts up my house (100's of $$) freq. when I enforce rules? He is a maniac

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Answers. 13 helpful answers below.

  • by ...... on November 19th, 2007

    ......

    at 18 he is an adult and should behave as such. cut the apron strings and have his but arrested. I know it is hard to do this type of thing but he must learn respect and sometimes it takes drastic measures to teach. Your local law enforcement can help you if you do not wish for your child to have a record they can scare the hell out of him by telling him just what is going to happen if he continues acting in this manner.

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  • by Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog on November 19th, 2007

    Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog

    IS he in school?
    Does he do drugs?
    He sounds out of control and has to be removed from the house for the safety of you and his siblings. Contact a family law lawyer - the first consultation is usually free of charge - and find out your options for the state/country where you live.

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  • by StewieGriffin on February 27th, 2008

    StewieGriffin

    He is over 18, if you can - seriously threaten to kick his butt out, if threatening doesn't work throw him out for a few days it should knock some sense into him. If you dont want to do that dock his allowance (if he has one) enforce a curfew... Make him pay for any damages. Dont give him food until he does, he wont starve he can always go to a fast food joint. But home cooked food is always better

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  • by Kizz miazz on February 27th, 2008

    Kizz miazz

    Tough love.

    You need to see a therapist and find out why he's acting out. These are deep seated problems.

    He has to learn that he is in control of himself and has to learn what being a man means.

    he needs man lessons, you as a woman cannot do it. The Army will, but I do not recommend that, maybe a boot camp though. I wish you luck on this and it requires professional help.

    Does he have an uncle he can live with for a while? Or friend of his father? Just another man to show him the ropes of being a man.

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  • by Ed the Jetpacking Headbanger on November 19th, 2007

    Ed the Jetpacking Headbanger

    Tough problem, we love our children, but they can't behave this way. Does his father know of his anger?
    He is an adult now. If you are worried about you well-being, you might need to get the police involved.
    Is he open to any type of counseling? He sounds like he has issues that need to be worked out.
    Good luck.

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  • by funnybunny on October 6th, 2009

    funnybunny

    He is disrespecting you and your home. You will not be happy and neither will the rest of your family until you can get him out. Talk to hospitals, police and then tell him what is going to happen. He either goes to a hospital for the mentally ill, or he goes to jail. But whatever choice he makes will have to be either or those because you won't put up with it anymore. Make sure you have a cop with you in case he tries to hurt you or the kids, and file a restraining order against him to keep him away if you have to. I used to work with someone who had a maniac son and they filed a restraining order against him, and they still talk to eachother, which is weird. But you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of the rest of your family, and throwing him out is step one.

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  • by Mommyof2 on September 10th, 2008

    Mommyof2

    Throw him out or call police but his but in jail and let him know how good he's got it at home.

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  • by Chris on February 27th, 2008

    Chris

    I was on my own at 15 , I hate to say it but you dont have to put up with that anymore. I do respect the fact that you havent kicked his butt out already.

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  • by chickinthesticks on February 27th, 2008

    chickinthesticks

    Destruction of property is a criminal offense, it is your home, not his. I don't know if you live in a small town or not like I do, but local law enforcement is practically ridiculous. I find that the state police handle matters a little more seriously. A restraining order is definitely in order, pack his stuff and send him on his own. He is 18 and a legal adult and has to take responsibility for his actions. He is not setting a positive example for his other siblings. He wants to boo hoo about not having a roof over his head, then tough! Welcome to the real world. Throw him out.

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  • by Babycakes Deux on February 27th, 2008

    Babycakes Deux

    Sounds to me like tough love time. And let him know that if he comes in and breaks up more stuff, you'll call the police.

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  • by Yarnlady is happy every day on February 27th, 2008

    Yarnlady is happy every day

    You have to take the initiative and go to family court. Once you have a legal restraining order against him, the police are required to act on your behalf.

    After you get the restraining order, visit your local police department and discuss the situation with them. Be sure they understand that you expect them to take action if he violates the order.

    I would also check the local mental health office and find out if you can have him committed. The behavior you have described could be a sign of mental breakdown.

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  • by Pinkheavens on February 27th, 2008

    Pinkheavens

    Ok, I am going out on a limb and taking a totally opposite approach than most. What if you found a time when he was fairly calm and asked to sit with him. Tell him, how much you love him, and that you don't want to go on living this way. That you want to clean his slate... this meaning telling him you forgive everything he has done, and you want to start over the way it should be. The past will stay in the past...all you want is to love him and understand where he is coming from and create peace in the house again. It may not work all at once, but maybe the violent fits will stop if he doesn't feel like you are against him. (I know you are not...I'm just explaining what he may be feeling) Good luck.

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  • by Anonymous on February 27th, 2008

    Anonymous

    hello everyone, if someone can help please feel free to share your opinion. my family are christians but my problem is my 18 year old son he has a temper problem he would cuss at as all the time ( when he gets mad even for little things ) So when his dad hear him cussin at me his dad will get mad they will be cussin each other . For a background my husband and my son dont have a good relationship they would talk about sports and kid around but most of the time they fight . My son said his dad really care for him . My husband is too passive but the only time he react is when he hear the "f" word .My husband really loves him but he is not expressive . im trying so hard for them to have a relationship. and when he is angry he punch the wall punch his head ........please help me

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