Can you catch me off guard by saying something completely random?
by 
Mort The Conqueror
ANSWERS: 100
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Since it takes so many pancakes to cover a dog house, it would be closer to walk to work than to take your lunch.
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A casual stroll through the insane asylum shows that faith proves nothing.
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Mucous spewing pig snouts snorted profusely over my tie die shirt that for some reason was lacking hews of green, needless to say I was a hit at the party. That's snot supposed to be funny. I forgot where I porked my car as well.
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Why do pinto beans make you so gassy & stink so bad???? Is that random enough,lol?
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Peter Percifal Pattersons pet pig, Porky, loved pie. He loved pizza pie, pinapple pie, pumpkin pine..mince tarts.. Peter Percifal Pattersons pet pig, Porky, ate pie for dinner, pie for lunch, and pie before he went to bed. Peter Percifal Pattersons pet pig, Porky, ate so much pie, ya know what he did?
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She'll dump your ass for a model called Brandon, He will pay for beautiful surgery, because he's full of money.
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Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitos and bull-legged ants. I stand before you, not behind you, to speak of a subject I know nothing about. Early one morning, late at night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other pulled their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise and came to arrest the two dead boys. And if you don't believe this lie is true, you can ask the blind man, he saw it too!
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Peanuts are not nuts.
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no.
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Do you think match.com can do a better job for my Mom, that last bum gave her a case of bad credit. "How'd I do"?
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"thankyou ,you look lovely too. and yes, there were about 5 shootings in the west."
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How many fingers do you have?
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American uses 75% of the world's resources yet we are 8% of the population. Scary.
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It's not that I think stupidity should be punishable by death. I just think we should take the warning labels off EVERYTHING and let the problem take care of itself:-)
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I saw what you did earlier today.....
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The tide's coming in.
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something completely random.
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A newly hatched queen bee immediately kills all other hatched and unhatched queens in the hive.
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Vaginal itching.
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skank!
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Imagine tripping ove a snake's nest! <shakes at the thought>
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"Starts with my toes, makes me crinkle my nose" :)
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Your eminence when did you last shower?
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No I will not go out with you! Sorry, but I don't swing that way.
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Probably not. =o
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When evil hamsters storm the fortress, there is only one who can stand against them... "I'm sorry, babyrottweiler is currently unavailable. Please hold while I transfer you to a machine so you may record your message..." WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?! YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU!!!! I've got a lovely bunch of cocnuts, dee dee deeee there they are, standing in the road... Oh Tom the Toad, oh Tom the Toad, why did you hop upon the road? You hopped upon the yellow line, and turned into a streak of slime! Oh Tom the Toad, oh Tom the Toad, why did you hop upon the road? And he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said he said she said that the Hamsters are here, there, everywhere!!!!!!! And I ate them all up! Burp!!! The End
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Mistake..sorry.
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Yeah, I thought that was you
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Everything starts where it ends.
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The intoxicated rodeo clown obliviously prechewed the horrendous smelling synthetic meat by-product.
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womans prayer:as i lay him down to f.. ,i sure hope he rips it up..but if his dck is small and weak ,lord i pray this man can eat!!!.
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no (didn't see that one coming did you, you thought that I'd say yes)
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mum said that you are my real father. i want to move in with you and your family... tomorrow :)
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I know you did.....
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Sorry For the expletive! W--KER
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Pac man rocks!!!everyone loves pacman!
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Moms home, put the teddy bears away.
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Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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I like it rough :P haha!
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I LIKE PURPLE PIGS!!!!
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Will you warm my feet up? LOL
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Fuzzy Purple Hippo! :D
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you spelt something wrong!
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9. (guaranteed random by a roll of the dice.)
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I went to my first funeral two days ago..
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Chaos theory http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_theory
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Jesus with a Devo hat. vvv
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I have a headache
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Outside of the fact that this is a dupe? I saw on Bones once that eating human meat makes you crazy - literally - by altering chemicals in your brain.
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the battery on my phone is dying.
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I have an ape avatar.
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Card shufflers in Las Vegas have predictable, definable patterns that can be tracked by a discriminating algorithm.
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If all things must fall, why build a miracle at all? If all things must pass, even a miracle won't last. - Alan Parsons Project - Pyramid
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there are at least 6,000 spoken languages on earth
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Ive recently put my pearl necklace to a better use
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Sings like Weird Al) My life is brilliant... What, was I too early? Oh, sorry. Should I...Do you wanna start over? Or, keep going? Okay, now? Now? My life is brilliant Your life's a joke You're just pathetic You're always broke Your homemade Star Trek uniform really ain't impressin' me You're sufferin' from delusions of Adequicy You're Pitiful (X3) It's true Never had a date That ya couldn't inflate And ya smell repulsive too What a bummer bein' you Well ya just can't dance And forget romance Everybody you know still calls ya Farty Pants : But you always have a job well I mean As long as you still can work that slurpie machine You're Pitiful (X3) It's true You're half undressed Eatin' chips of your chest While you're playin' Halo 2 No one's classier than you Lalala la Lalala la Lalala la Loser You're Pitiful (X3) It's true Your dog would much rather Play fetch by itself You still live with your Mom and you're 42 Guess you'll never grow a clue When it just sucks to be you
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so there i was bare ass naked in the middle of main street. With syrup all over my body, and a pomegranate in my pocket. all of a sudden Dandelson MyShari( a half elf, 3/4s rhino) appeared out of thin air to my left. "What's shakin' Dandelson?" I asked. "The almighty scissor weasel of Arcadia, and his wife Bob," he replied. "Oh," I said. Then we joined hands and frolicked down the street to the nearest gift card emporium.
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(.)(.)
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I taught your girlfriend that thing with the tongue you like so much.
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plum jam on a wednesday
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My cat humped my friends head once :D
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Do you like grits for breakfast?
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If you had stopped playing that Keane CD, I wouldn't have had to put a nail in her head.
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While sleepwalking I once cried out in the middle of the night, "the radio's stuck to the ceiling!"
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Cheesecake is goooooood.
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There are 10 people in this world, Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
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something:)
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I can touch my toes.
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on average there are more microbes on your keyboard than on your toliet seat.
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My car is blue!
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this answer is a statement. statements are answers put differently. so is this an answer or statement? here is a 2nd 1 just for extra laughs! pardon my french, but cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up her butt in 2 weeks you'd have a diamond. no offence to people named cameron.
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Turkey!
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Is that a wimwam for a wowser?
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She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. He walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. When you boil rice, know that the water is your own life.
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1 in 3000 people have detachable legs for recreational purposes. :)
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A monkey walked into my office demanding I solve this mathematical equation. I said “Listen here Mr. Elephant, these bananas just don’t add up.” Then she said I told you it was misspelled” then I said “I agree with you completely now lets get out of this tent before the store manager finds us”
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Black frilly knickers
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Hello and goodnight. Stay and you will not hear anything. Now to get finished, i hope your ready! This isn't it, the 3rd thing! Please dont stay, you might get cold inside! The Start.
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That's what she said.... hehehehe. wow I guess that sounds really wrong since I'm a girl... That's what he said..... hahahaha. :)
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No I don't like randomness
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platypus!
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"She said her name was Darlene, but I knew better. She was only eight years old, and that meant sex was inevitable."
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The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! The potatoes are green! Watch out for the red potatoes!
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Gramma don't call me Billy. My name is SNAKE!!!!
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Barbara Walters prefers astroglide.
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Indiana wants me, Lord I can't go back there...
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( . )( . )
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"Something completely random"... ... ... ... ... Apparently not! ;-)
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Edward Scissorhands has a broken nose?
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i love u and have no idea who u are.
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Soviets come complete in a topical anti-itch spray laced with Elmer's glue. Not for resale or opthamological use.
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Would you like some Frommunda Cheese with that whine of yours?
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nobody loves me...everybody hates me...guess i'll go eat worms
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A squirrel says: "Throw my nuts!!! THROW MY NUTS!!!"
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My dad has a shovel
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"better run from those bees. they can't see you, but they can smell the ultraviolet dandelion soda you're going to spill on your shirt next week. try using a voodoo doll on the queen of france. milkshake!" the last two sentences are a tribute to my friends and their (total) randomness. yes, be honored. the queen of randomness has called you random!
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2GIRLS1CUP
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What is this 'Afghanistan'? Where is it located? ...A thousand questions. Where is the airline that can take me there?
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such is life such is the lot but really it is all just made out of snot
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