If you have a neighbor that you know is being abused by her live in boyfriend, do you confront them that you know what's going on there?
by 
maggie_49417
ANSWERS: 41
-
no i would stay out of it. it has nothing to do with me what goes on behind their doors. if my neighbour was a close friend id tell her i knew what was happening and try to help her though. its probably best to stay out of it because if she wanted your help shed ask for it
-
Why don't you speak with the abused party?
-
I couldn't stand by and watch anybody getting abused, try to get her on her own and ask her what help she needs
-
If I had to listen to it, knew about it, or see the results, then I would call the police. Getting personally involved in domestic violence can be a very dangerous thing. It is the number one cause for injury to police officers.
-
It depends on your relationship with the neighbor. If you two are close, you would want to say something - but if you're not, she may deny anything is happening at all.
-
Been there and it's a nasty situation to get involved in. I had a neighbor that would beat the hell out of his wife every now and then. I called the police on three different occasions and they would make him leave for the evening on two occasions and arrested him once. She would always take him back. Domestic violence is normally a case of two unstable people feeding off of each other, rather it be violently of emotionally.
-
-
Army Veteran I couldn't have explained it any better. There have been many police officers killed when answering calls on domestic disputes. I've seen cases where a husband and wife were involved in a physical fight and the moment a cop goes to arrest the guy, his wife steps in and starts beating on the cop.
-
-
I would definately find the time to privately speak to the victim to provide support and encouragement. Confronting the perpetrator may be too dangerous. Call the police for assistance. You may be the only person who can save the victims life. My sister died at the hands of her abuser, it was her neighbor who called 911 to report the incident. This years national theme for Domestic Violence Awareness Month is: "Family Violence, It is your Business." "Peace on Earth, Begins at Home"
-
I don't know my neighbors that well and I don't want to interfere in people's private lives. Maybe she tolerates the abuse and can handle it because she continues to live with the abuser.
-
I would annonymously call the cops when it's going on.
-
Never been in that situation (seeing as I'm 20 that doesn't say much), but I guess I would confront her about it. In these situations the abused needs talking sense too. It seems that it's always the same "he's really a good person"-this, "he only gets like that sometimes"-that. Now, that's a real problem. Obviously the abuser need to be put through the penal system, but the abused is more often than not an enabler. The best solution though, I think would be to call the police if there's a fight going on, they would probably put him in a cell or something over the night, then I suggest you talk to the abused privately and make her call counceling. I know in sweden we have what is called a female jour, and I think that's mainly what they do. I don't know if that is unique for sweden though.
-
Speak to the police. If you know then that means you have evidence - show it to the cops.
-
No, stay out of it, call it in to the adult abuse hotline, let them deal with it. Battered women are very difficult to deal with, they are like attics, until they really relaize they need help they can not be helped. It is sad but true; nonetheless, be there for her.
-
I'd call the police when you know something is happening, then I'd go over there and wait with her until the police got there. Personally, I'd wait until I knew he was beating on her, take a baseball bat with me, and knock the shit out of him with it. Then I'd ask him how he liked it.
-
I would, but that's just because I'm not afraid of the outcome (whatever it may be) I don't recommend it for everyone though.
-
well I would front the b/f and politely inform him that if he raise a hand to a lady again I would break both his arms...having done this before I would have no problem in doing it again.... you NEVER hit a female ...never !
-
I would stay out of it knowing they he may be crazy and probaly would try to hurt you.
-
Knowing myself I would probably catch the guy in passing and casually let him know that I know what he's doing, just so he knows that people know about him. As an ex Army MP, and bouncer, I usually don't fear too many wife beaters since they can't be too tough if they have to beat up women, their constitution is usually pretty weak, like a school bully.
-
i would invite her for a coffee and gain her trust and then help her through it and support her
-
Only if they asked my opinion.
-
If your able to hear the 'abusive' or see the abuse take place, I'd phone the police. And keep phoning them till the neighbors get the hint and stop.
-
NO WAY! That could lead to the female being abused in a more extreme way. The male would likely think she "told" or asked for ask. I would wait until I knew she was alone and provide her with any help I could. Anything from a hot line number to a spare room, depending on the situation. DO NOT let the male know that you are even aware of the problem. Most women who die from spousal abuse, die when leaving!
-
It depends on my relationship with them. If I know them, than I talk to the girlfriend and see how she feels. If she wants help than I would be more than willing to provide it (if its reasonable, a place to stay for a few days till she gets her own place fine, but not anything outrageous). However if I'm not a friend, I would approach the girlfriend calmly, tell her that I know that she is getting abused, and tell her that she doesn't have to take it.
-
we had a neighors,after heavy drinking swore at each other,fight like cat and dog,then one day she was on the front garden with a knife saying i fu--- hate you,cause i went over trying to calm them down and next minute they started on me,anyway i went back in my house next minute a knock on the door and his girlfriend started on me cause i just pushed her next minute her boyfriend startes on me so i hit him.they called the police and now i have a criminal crime against me. my advice is dont get involved let them get on with it,i know its hard its not your problem.
-
Better to let the police handle it. there may be a weapon in the house, they both may team against you, and you could be arrested for trespassing. I understand your concern, but people in a domestic dispute are unpredictable. I see this everyday. The police are prepared for any event that occurs in a domestic violence situation. Thank you for being concerned, but also think about your own safety.
-
Yes. I tell them I am aware of his violent crimes and suggest that either he change immediately or she toss him out immediately ... if he tries to intimidate me, I challenge him to try attacking me ... If he tries, I put him into an excrutiating painfull submission hold and keep him there for several hours ... Then, I tell him if likes violence, I can arrange to have him framed for crimes that will put him in jail for life, and I can arrange for him to be fighting for his life every single day of his imprisonment. I tell him he had better change, and I offer to teach him meditations and self controls to help him find peace. ... and yes, I have done this, twice ... two different guys ...
-
I would gather some phamlets about abusive relationships and ways and or helpful information to get her help out of her situation. I would also hand deliver them and tell her if she needs help or someone to talk to you will be there for her.
-
No. Too many people think that other people want them to butt in. While it may be a bad situation for her, you are not involved. Stay out of it, unless it comes up in conversation FROM HER. You could very possibly end up starting a feud between your house and your neighbor's that could make everyone's life more difficult than it is.
-
talk to her! Try to help her help herself
-
No, but I would call the cops.
-
Keep yourself safe and ring the police but offer her support if you can and are able to.
-
I wouldn't confront both of them at the same time, but one of the times I see only her, I would just tell her if she needs someone to talk to, my door is always open and my phone is always on. She doesn't have to worry about judging or me turning my back, I've helped so many in her situation before. If she isn't willing to admit it's happening right now as well, that's just fine. Planting the seed of an offer of help is usually all it takes to start them on their journey to a better life.
-
When this happened to me I called the cops. I waited until the violence had actually began. I told the dispatcher that I didn't want to be involved and to keep my name out of it. I followed up by going to the police station. The neighbor was gone in less than three months. 😋
-
Police
-
I would call the local abuse hotline and ask them how to handle the situation.
-
and she'd slit your throat if you say a bad word against her man or call the cops on him. look for another apartment.
-
call the cops but dont say it was you
-
I'd call the cops every time they fought. At least then there would be a record of abuse when one of them finally kills the other.
-
No. If the boyfriend is abusive, he might go after you, too. However, if you hear or see an episode of abuse, call the police.
-
I wouldn't, but next time it happens you could ring the police and let them deal with it, you don't have to give your name.
-
I would ask her if she needs help or wants to talk, I am available.
-
Nope it's her problem and even if you do something about it she will get mad and tell you you don't understand and she loves him. So let her get beat.
Beat Covid, Avoid Republicans 
avatar 
Linda Joy 
Creamcrackered RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC