My Wedding is on Halloween. How do I deal with a future Mother-In-Law that is determined to turn it into a "Socially Acceptable" July type traditional wedding? Aside from the date and decorations the ceremony will be very traditional.
by 
Vampyre Bat
ANSWERS: 7
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Tell her that while you appreciate her input this is your day and you and your future husband will make all the final decisions about it.
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October 31st is just another day. I take it your future MIL is a person who frowns up Halloween. This is her daughter's life and she will just have to either show up and shut up or refrain from attending.
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Are you really getting married on a Wednesday?
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Well, I hope you got a good deal at the restaurant or at the catering hall because that certianly is not a Saturday or Sunday where everyone want to book a reception. Let me tell you a story. My husband's step brother is this freaky goth guy. He lives with his fiance for a few years and then decides to marry her on October 13th which is a Friday. A woman who looks like a man marries them in some creepy little chapel in Staten Island and doesn't mention "God" at all. Okay, so three years go by, she cleans out his bank account and leaves him. He promptly impregnates his co-worker and now they have a baby. Darn on him for making me use a vacation day and having to stay over in the creepy little B&B where there were no locks on the bedroom door. He wanted an unlucky date and he got it.
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Dear Hanging: The wedding date is 100% up to you and your bride. However, Mothers-in-Law should not be given reasons (however irrational) to think of their sons-in-law in a bad light. I would have given in a long time ago--but now, the wedding is just too close to cancel and reschedule. Extreme patience coupled with extreme diplomacy is called for. That means that you must tell her that you accept responsibility for choosing a "bad" date; and you must make sure that you don't criticize her need to change things.
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If I had the answer to that, planning this wedding would be easy...
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Remind her that it is your wedding. You don't have to be mean about it, but be firm. If she doesn't listen, turn on the automatic nod when she is telling you what you should do and then do what you want anyway. Your finace should help you with this, after all it's his mom. Also, if you can find some small thing she can do to help, it will make her feel as though she is part of it and can help get her off your back. Have a wonderful wedding day!
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