That's a touchy subject if I ever seen one. My grandmother is 83 and she still goes out to the store and does most of her chores such as laundry, etc... I come over to do a lot of things she can't do as well as my mother as well. If she didn't have her support network to take care of her when she needs it most who knows what would have happened. The eyesight and all bodily functions are deteriorating but the mind is still sharp, now you know where I get it from so she can still make wise decisions except eating too much junk food which I chide her about eating. First of all we know that seniors get social security and if they have a pension, then there is a higher chance of assisted living facility placement. I believe that no one deserves to live in a hope and when it comes to the point that the elder is no longer in control of their faculties, it almost becomes a necessity to intern them in these types of places. We all hope that they live to a ripe old age and then finally pass in their sleep but the facts of reality suggest that we take a common sense approach and deal with life's curve balls in a pragmatic approach and make judgments based upon what's best.

Talk to them before you do anything , maybe someone could come in and help when your not able to I know they would be happier living in their own home - just a idea

From an emotional standpoint this is difficult. Discussion and communication is the key. Sometimes a move to an "elder community" is a nice transition. Often, they will get much more socialization and interaction with people of various ages, which in my opinion helps keep them young.It definitely beats sitting at home alone (very common if a spouse has died). If "assisted care" is needed, the conversation should focus on medical and safety issues combined with the aforementioned socialization. If it's nursing home care that is required, then the issue is generally beyond your or your loved one's control. Note that there are facilities which guarantee that you can transition from one form of living to the next without having to worry about being left out in the cold or subject to placement somewhere not of your own choosing through medicaid. Finances are an issue but often the scenario I suggested acts like a kind of long term care insurance policy. Finally, from a legal standpoint, make sure that there is a durable power of attorney in place as well as a healthcare power of attorney and living will. In times of seriously ill health, somebody has to make financial and health decisions on behalf of your parents.

First of all it is hoped that this was discussed beforehand and you know what their wishes are. Second, you don't "put them" in independent living apartments. They need to be part of the process and also need to make some of the decisions so they don't feel like children being told what to do. They are adults and should be treated so. There are lots of good facilities out there with different levels of care for those in need of services. Visit as many as you can WITH those who are in need of them. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I work in a nursing home that has an attached assisted living facility. I have on occassion given tours to people looking for placement. I and others who give the tours are sometimes able to tell whether or not someone would make "a good fit". It is very important that they feel comfortable and able to communicate with others. I hope this information helps and good luck with your search.