My boyfriend got mad at me because I hugged my dad when he got me an ipod today for my birthday...my boyfriend said he doesn't want me hugging other guys...what can I do to make him happy?

Forgive me for asking, but are you serious? You have a boyfriend who got mad at you for hugging your DAD and you're worried about making him happy?! Sweetie, please, make yourself happy. Lose the zero and get yourself a hero!

There are several troubling things about your question:

- it isn't your job to make your boyfriend happy. People make THEMSELVES happy. If he is putting the burden of his happiness on you, that's flat out wrong. If you think it's your responsibility to make him happy, you will never succeed in making him happy and will be very unhappy yourself.

- guys who tell you what to do are bad news. No boyfriend has the right to tell you what to do. He does have the right to break up with you if he doesn't like things you do, or discuss those things with you, but he does not have the right to tell you what to do.

- guys who try to limit your affection with your parents are trying to isolate you so that they can control you.

- guys who want to control you are dangerous. Stay away from them. If necessary, move, change your phone number, get a restraining order, but get away NOW and stay away.

- guys who feel threatened when you hug your own father have terribly screwed up values, and people with screwed up values cannot love other people in the way that they deserve. Even if he says he loves you, love means something entirely different to him than it means to you.

Don't make any attempt to make this guy happy, PLEASE! His demands will become more and more ridiculous, and you will lose control of your life more and more with each time you give in.

Edited 5/3/08 to correct typo.

Why would you want a boyfriend who acts like this?! You can hug anyone you want to,your boyfriend is not the boss of you.Forgot about making him happy and dump this a**hole!

That's beyond a little bit of jealousy. It's your DAD for crying out loud!

That's ridiculous. I wouldn't try to "make him happy" with respect to his wishes on this one. It's your dad. Don't stop hugging your FAMILY. If he can't accept that you show gratitude and affection to the people that you love, he needs to leave. You don't need to change.

Are you SERIOUS!? I'd make him happy by SLAPPING THE LIVING BEJESUS OUT OF HIS INSECURE, JEALOUS, LOW-SELF-ESTEEM ass.

You are in for a world of heartache or maybe more if you stay with this guy. He is trying to control you and your best bet is run don't walk.

obviously if he cant even let u hug your own dad, then there is something wrong with him. there is probably nothing you can do to make him happy.

Are you freaking kidding me? It's your dad! You're boyfriend is a LOSER!!! Break up with him now! He's very controlling!

I see nothing but trouble, in your future, with this boyfriend. did he really get mad at you for hugging your own father? if this is the case, what will this boyfriend be like, if you two married? jealousy, of this type, will ruin your relationship.

A person this possessive, will never let you be your own person.

Now is the time to set the rules straight with this person. at this point in your life, your parents come first and he comes second. if you marry, then the roles will reverse.

Until that time, if your boyfriend continues with being overly possessive, every male you encounter will be grounds for another mad session.

Its your life, do not let one person ruin it.

If this guy is going to have that much of a problem with you hugging your own flesh and blood, I'd advise dumping him NOW. That's a jealous and controlling thing...could signal abuse.

I've known jerks like him. Just get away as fast as you can. We are talking BLINKING LIGHTS and they spell TROUBLE. Don't even try to figure this guy out. Get far away from him.

Your boyfriend is a RETARD. Family doesn't count as "other guys". If this is a serious question, you need to find another boyfriend that isn't sick and demented. Wow. What a frickin douchebag. Seriously, get out now. If he won't let you hug your DAD, because he considers that "another guy" he obviously thinks you might sleep with your FATHER. That's really sick. He doesn't trust you, your family, and he certainly doesn't think very highly of you. Run, don't walk and get a restraining order against him. He's likely to get violent.

The fact that you are asking this question...and your top concern is how to make this boyfriend happy, tells me YOU have serious issues. Please talk to someone professionally about the situation...and I DON'T mean your (so-called) boyfriend, the control freak.

You actually want to please him after he gets mad because you hugged your own father?!?!?!
Honey, drop that idiot, and get a real guy! No one should ever be allowed to tell you that you can't hugs your parents!
You love your dad and you expressed your gratitude with a hug and your bf got jealous... that is SAD!

Tell your dad!! Your dad well make him happy! He'll straighten that boy right up!!

He's trying to control you. Your dad is family... you cant change that. You CAN change him though. If hes that bad about hugging family then he has some serious issues. Once he finds out he can control you with one thing, it will become another, and another....

There is nothing you can do to make him happy. In fact he's looking for excuses to be angry at you by telling you he doesn't want you hugging your dad. As I told you before your "boyfriend" is an abuser. He's right now trying to isolate you from your friends and family so that when he starts whaling on you you have nobody to go to. In fact he's escalting quite rapidly. I see him hitting you in about a month if you don't dump him now. So get the hell out now before he statrs doing even worse things to you.

This is the most unhealthy relationship that anyone can have. Your father is your father and you should be able to show your affection and appreciation to him for a gift. Hope that your boyfriend gets incarcerated so you can be free of this psychological burden. I see bad things for you.

http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/how-to-leave-a-dangerous-lover/

Sounds like your boyfriend is crazy for one thing, I would worry so much about making him happy but thinking about if this guy is okay for you and how to make yourself happy. Your dad did a wonderfully nice thing for you, you had every right to show your appreciation.

why haven'nt you left him yet. You asked us a question a while back that said that he was telling you your his property,I cannot belive that you are still with him. Please get out now.

Break up with him, he's retarded and if he's that insecure he won't be happy any other way.

He is your father, you have a right to hug him, if you cant hug your own parent without him getting upset, you need to get rid of him. any person who feel it is inappropriate and gets flustered over a show of affection to a family member, a parent at that, is not a person that you should have a relationship, i am in such shock he would say such a thing, quite frankly i find it disturbing for such an individual to think such a thing.

Are you serious? I wouldn't even leave that one up to my daughter although we would have a race seeing who would kick his a** up the driveway faster.

You need to tell him to get over himself this is your Father you hugged not just SOME guy!

You already asked us on July 29th that your boyfriend says that you're his property. Any advise?
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/359081
And plenty of people told you to LEAVE HIM!! What are you still doing with him?

I think your boyfriend may have been dropped on his head one too many times as a baby. He sounds like a very insecure jerk. Don't just walk away from this relationship. RUN !! As fast as you can !!

I'm sorry....your boyfriend got jealous of your father? I'd um....dump him....and move onto someone a touch more secure with themselves and in touch with reality...

hmmm. sounds like your boyfriend is insecure. does he also confuse arrogance with confidence?

Grow up, get a backbone, and make yourself happy. Tell him to take a hike!

You most likely will not ever be able to make him happy. If he gets jealous over you hugging your own father, it sounds to me like he has personal issues of insecurity and self esteem that he needs to resolve before he is is able to truly love anyone else.

Do not even try to make this loser happy, just dump the uncivilized animal and look for a guy who is a real human with a working brain instead.

I am very sorry if this is going to sound harsh. I knew only one guy who was this possessive, he was a mental case. If your boyfriend has a problem with you hugging your dad, he has one sick mind. My advice is to get out while the gettins good.

Dump him quickly. If he's jealous of you showing affection towards your father then he has serious issues.

Tell him to get over himself and then tell him GOODBYE LOSER!

What the heck? Is your boyfriend scared that you'll leave him and run away with your dad? I can see him not wanting you hugging other guys, as in guys that are friends. But if you hug your dad for no reason other than that he is your dad, your boyfriend shouldn't even have a problem with it. In fact, he should be happy that you have a good enough relationship with your father that you do hug.

Not your problem..it's his. Beware. Jealousy is not a good trait. If you can't hug your dad, what happens when you hug a male friend platonically?

Leave this guy...he's a complete sodding idiot.

him getting angry for hugging your dad is ridiculous and if he's that insecure, he has some growing up to do. Your dads the one that put you on this earth for gods sake. And you can hug whoever you want to hug, and if he starts becoming anymore controlling LEAVE because thats one of the first signs of Domestic violence.

seems to me if he's as demanding as that only being your boyfriend, why would you want to continue the relationship? Nobody should ever come between you & your parents

I think that is completely wrong that he is mad at you for hugging your dad. Your dad is your family. We should all show love to our family. You should talk to him, and tell him that you have guy friends and have guy family members too. Tell him that you want to show affection to them.

This question gets creepier every time I read it.

You've got to be kidding, right? Take a hike pal! What does your dad think of this jerk? Does he respect your dad? If he doesn't, watch out.

your DAD? what's the problem with this? i mean he's just your dad. wow....some guys.

Dude... seriously? You hugged your DAD. For getting you a nice GIFT. Your boyfriend SUCKS. Don't bother making him happy... he doesn't deserve you.

Get a boyfriend who can appreciate the beauty of a good relationship with your parents.
Get a boyfriend who doesn't consider your DAD "other guys" (Really? If he thinks your DAD is competition... that's kinda' creepy...).
Get a boyfriend who is secure enough in his trust in you that he's comfortable with you loving people... so long as he knows that you love him the best. I mean, that's what's important, right?

huh?

LOSE THIS LOSER - FAST.

You cannot do anything to make him happy. He saw you happy with a family member and this has annoyed him immensely. Besides, dads aren't 'other guys'. If he has a problem with your dad being a 'guy', then you are in for some serious crap and possessiveness later. Nor can you fix him, so don't even try. You will pay with your happiness. Would you tell him he could not hug his mother?

Your boyfriend seems threatened by your father and immature.

Dump his sad ass girlfriend! He's your OLD MAN! Besides which, its not up to HIM TO DECIDE WHO YOU HUG!
He sounds controlling, its not up to you to make HIM happy!
DUMP HIM!

Your boyfriend is too controlling . I went out with someone like that as a teen. I could not see that , that was abuse. It was not love . I thought controlling was caring. Its not. Get away from someone like that , it will be trouble. Sometimes yu cant see because you are in the relationship others can . He is your dad and you can hug up on your dad, if he is jealous that is His problem not yours. Stand up to what you know is right.