- NEW!
by M Moon on July 31st, 2007
Well, being a senior female person, and having an incredibly successful, phenomenally romantic and active sexual life (yes, even over 60's still 'do it') relationship and marriage of 25 years ...
In my view, many of my 'sisters' have been 'trained' by society to 'think' they should control everything. (There is genetic, procreative science about why, but that isn't my offering here.) And, let's not forget that men appear to have this 'need' too. Obviously, for both genders, but specifically in intimate relationships, this kind of intimate conduct is incredibly unproductive and harmful to maintaining the sustenance of 'love,' let alone promoting a continuing 'interest!'
It is not our 'right' to control anyone, but ourselves = No need for any manipulation or mind games, as each individual takes this personal task as demonstrating the best of their own Peak Performance and successful-outcome potentials! When this isn't demonstrated (by either): what an actual waste of not only valuable intimate time, but its degrading to ourselves and unfortunately, them! (And both sides wonder why there is a loss of interest?) No, 'he should of ...' No, 'if only's ...' No, 'when is she gonna ...' No, 'how come he didn't ...' No, '... but what about me's?!!'
Okay, let's assume for a minute what is offered above, the 'no controlling behavior' from either side, leaves each of the individuals in a relationship to consider not only 'What do I want to get?' but equally important, 'Am I willing to give what I want to get?'
For example, if a woman 'wants more romance ...' it seems natural, logical and even personally emotionally reasonable, the only way to 'get it' is to 'give it.' Let's cooperate, agreeing this applies to both genders.
First: sex IS a man's way of SHOWING romance!!! No ifs ands or buts about this. Period. In intimate relationships, having sex IS HIS WAY of saying, 'Oh baby ... how I love you, our home, our kids, our marriage!' It would seem to me most women do not understand that this is HIS 'way' of 'bringing home 'a bouquet of roses,' and 'a box of candy' and even 'helping around the house and with the kids!' Let's face it, if any of us feels we are 'satisfied,' we are more than willing to yield to the loved ones in our lives. This is a kind of proactive cooperation!
See, as she GIVES attention to HIS romantic endeavors, with acknowledgment and reciprocal credit, she -- oh my -- starts viewing OTHER romantic behaviors FROM him. 'Sometimes' having sex for sex sake, as it were, is a 'quickie' love moment at its best and a tension reliever too! Please! ... I am not at all implying that sex is a cure and end all, especially since this could easily become its own 'controlling' issue! (You'd be missing my point if you read into this from that angle!!)
And, let none of us forget that 'sex' is not just innie-outtie ... 'stuff!,' although in of itself it is a demonstration of mutual caring. Its first and foremost an act of love and affection! By genuinely demonstrating daily affection, SENSING each other, as if for the very first time, is like being on that first date. Remember how tingly that felt in the pit of your stomach? (And don't say: 'Yeah, that was before the kids arrived!' ... I'm exhausted!') I had two little ones, 25 years ago, when I first met beloved ... what we 'managed to do' was set OUR romance above all, even if that meant between changing diapers and going to get groceries while the clothes were in the dryer!
There is a celebration in the fact that REAL love takes concrete personal and individual effort! It's not that altruistic either: if you give it, you get it! No kidding!
If he, say, 'Isn't paying attention to me!' the most loving method to allow him to 'pay attention to you' is by paying MORE attention to him!!! Men, as it were, are 'easy' in this way. (My husband says, 'We're cheap and easy! HA!) No need for even attempting to control 'how HE should,' because it is you who is the initiator of all good things for both of you. (And vs. versa!)
The point of the question is on why/how/ what [makes one] 'lose interest?' Wasn't there some famous person who said, 'The answer is usually found in the question?' So, I would assume then that the answer-within-the-question is TO CREATE interest!
I remember years ago, sitting around with a bunch of my married gal-pals: Each was asking, 'What would you change about your husband if you could?' As everyone took a turn, sharing what they thought was 'wrong' with their man, I actually marveled at how very myopic their was their thinking. When it came to be my turn, I answered: 'There is nothing -- not one thing -- I would change about my lover [husband]. Even if I could - though its not my job nor my right to do so -- if I change even one thing about him, he wouldn't be the man I fell in love with, the man I married.' They kept pushing with, 'Yeah? But ...' and 'What about ......' In my view, there is one universal truth: You Cannot Change Just One Thing! For in that shift, all sorts of other changes and elements are influenced as a result of 'changing just this one thing.' This is called, 'The Butterfly Effect.' For me, I DIDN'T consciously hook up with my guy for what he does, but for WHO he is! All the rest, circumstantially, comes and goes ... none of THAT is important to me!
It would seem to me, 'losing interest' means first and foremost, an individual has lost interest in themselves! Like I said, if I want 'more' romance and caring from him ... more attention to the house and kids ... I first have to demonstrate the love that I hold for these valuable personal assets called 'my family.' And what arrives from my effort? Oh, only immeasurable, profound rewards in return!
Want 'more interest?' BE an interesting and INTERESTED person.
Want more joy? Be that. Give that.
What more love? Be that. Give that.
Want more sex-as-romance? Be that. Give that.
One last, As I/we do, each and every day, please ask this question of yourself (NOT of him/her)
Am I the person I would want to marry?
by Znicest on July 31st, 2007
She turns out to be a lesbian
she tells u in highschool her nickname was loose goose
she tells you you remind her of her father
she is a weed head(smokes more then a chimmney)
she has a penis
she thinks fendi is a car
she tells you you remind her of her mother
she has bigger hands then you
she knows the starting line-up of the yankees
she tells you in highschool her nickname was tunafish
she has hair on her legs
she tells you you remind her of her cat
she tells you that she was on flavor of love
by Sugar-licious a bellydancing rum maiden on October 19th, 2007
In my humble opinion a man may become disinterested if you begin neglecting yourself - your looks, your health, your vitality, and your mind which can easily happen when you're overwhelmed with responsibility and short on time. Then there is sex. Sex is one of the most fundamental things in a relationship that makes a man feel loved, he doesn't want sex all the time because he's a jerk, he wants it to feel loved and appreciated. What men often do not understand is the emotional or mental energy women are driven to invest in sex, so when she's exhausted or stressed sex can begin to cause some real resentment. But I think as women we are the main provider of nurture in our families and we would not dream of withholding those things our children need to feel loved yet we do so to ourselves and our mates. A spirit of cooperation rather than making accusations can help both of you to understand and problem solve together. The other really big issue for men, I think, is respect. If you blow off his ideas, roll your eyes at his suggestions and give orders and never show appreciation he is going to either be miserable and/or he will be suseptable to someone who admires his ideas and values his opinions. For me, maybe not for anyone else, once I left feminist politics out of my relationship and listened to what felt right to me and my partner we were both so much happier and it felt so much more right. Men and women are different in their ways of perceiving and acting and it has nothing to do with being right or wrong or equal or unequal. Your question deserves an answer much more thorough than what I can provide and I tried to stay away from what a man might need to do to make a woman feel it's worth her while to keep him interested. Hope I didn't offend anyone, including the guys since I'm not a guy.
by C-C. on October 25th, 2007
A man loses interest in a woman, when everything seems monotonous. Change it up a little, find some new perfume, get some new clothes, change your hair. Make him feel sexy, tell him all the things he's doing to do. Show him you care about him, but enough so that he'll come begging to you. Go back to the first day you met him and play your song. Set the fire and just simply be romantic. Leave him love notes, play with his hair and use your curves to their advantage. First you have to feel sexy again, then show him how sexy you are. Rub his back etc...you get the idea. Hurry up.
by Galeanda on July 31st, 2007
If she stops making him feel the way he did when they fell in love. I'm not saying that it was her fault. I was referring to it from his perspective as to why HE lost interest. What I've seen is when a man doesn't feel the same way about her because he's not getting that same feeling anymore like she made him feel before. It may not be her fault, it could be he has changed, but from his perspective, she doesn't do it anymore for him.
by Stupid Motheryiffer on October 27th, 2007
when she stops baby-ing him
by The_Professional on July 31st, 2007
Turns out she doesn't do a proper job wipeing her own ass.
by mizuiislife on October 25th, 2007
Sometimes a man is only in it for the chase, and once the woman shows an interest back it's game over.
by Tempter on November 3rd, 2007
I lost interest in my fiance when I caught her cheating on me!
by Marcie on October 25th, 2007
Just like any other investment. Failure of either party to make regular deposits into the love account will lead to a marked lack of interest.
by - M.C.S. - Dave on August 9th, 2007
Their going to shoot me for this one. But I'll say..Nag,nag,nag.........?.?.?.
by Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience on July 31st, 2007
When he thinks he knows all that there is to know about her. A little mystery keeps a man interested.
by rose20 on January 6th, 2008
being too needy You have to give a man his space. It's fun to spend time with a man but we all need me time. Respect that don't take it personal if he really likes you he'll come back to you time and time again.
by Holly2323 on November 2nd, 2007
I think that men are always trying to upgrade. They want the newest car, the biggest house, and the hottest/youngest girl they can get. So they loose interest because even though they already have something great, they want something better.
by qzmaster591 on October 16th, 2007
Lot of things. Fear of commitment, for example. Evey guy is brought by his own nature to date a girl, but when she begins speaking of marriage (and I'm don't saying is a bad thing, I'm not putting the blame on the woman, just talking about what some males think, 'cause I know it) the first instinct is an hastly retreat that has the whole array of symptoms of a loss of interest.
Then there's boredom: a man likes a woman at first glance, every day tries to discover something new, and nice, about there, until they have got nothing new to say, nothing new to do, everything falls into routine and the man sails off for new undiscovered lands where no man has boldly gone before.
Speaking on "love at first sight" there's the crude impact with the real thing: most men in this room have experienced the most disheartening experience of asking out a pretty girl, only to discover she's as hot as... well, if not bitchy at least a vain wood-headed bimbo. And it's not fault of the gal, she's just the way she is, only, the man in question pictured in his mind a perfect angel and found a wooden doll.
Then there's the "control" thing. Men love to keep control on everything, if they feel their mate is trying to "change" them somehow, they feel threatened.
Then there's the perceived "lack of interest": men too love being flattered. Only, they're less able to express something about. When they feel the girl in question is spending fewer time with them, they start to search someone able to give them the unconditioned love that they started think at as an undeniable right.
by scooter564 on December 29th, 2007
cause they look at whats on the outside they should look at whats in the heart
by Rabbit on November 2nd, 2007
The most irritating thing is when she tries to become The Man. we like women to be STLC (Soft, Tender, Loving, Care). when that is not there, we lose interest.
by Anonymous on September 14th, 2008
I personally cannot stand it when a woman doesn't act like a "lady." I'm not saying she should know what fork is used for salad or wears dresses all the time. I mean if she is rude to servers at a restaurant, has a mouth that will make a sailor blush, obnoxious, no manners, won't let me open the door for her, or makes fun of the gentleman gestures my mama taught me to do. That always turns me off. I mean everyone has faults, but not being courteous is unacceptable from both sexes in my opinion.
by 40ishVoiceofReason on August 8th, 2008
If you're a grump, he'll grow tired of you quickly.
If you treat him like your kid, he'll resent you.
If you embarrass him, he will not want to be in your company.
If you're never available for sex when he wants it, he'll find someone who is.
If you spend all his money, he'll think he's just a wallet to you.
If you treat his kids bad, he'll show you the door.
If you constantly nag him, he'll never want to come home.
If you interfer with his job/work, he's trying hard not to choke you.
When you stop admiring and approving of who is he is, he'll think you don't love him anymore.
by elmondy on December 6th, 2007
Sagging boobs, a backside like a freight train that's been shot up in an armed robbery, and a gut that rolls over her pubic line. Then it's time to get the hell out - if she does not respect herself, how can anyone else respect her? And the same goes for men too - especially the sagging boobs bit!
by Bride2B on November 18th, 2007
I think a man will lose interest in a woman if she loses interest in herself. With this I mean if she doesnt love herself and care for herself anymore. If she starts to neglect herself, lose her motivation, and dont care about the relationship anymore.
by MRSHINYSHOES on October 25th, 2007
When he feels like she doesn't care about him anymore, and that he's not special to her anymore.
by local79 on August 30th, 2007
when she blame him for 10minutes.
when she never makes love to him.
when she just go for D**k not the nipple first.
when she talk about that other guy.
when she act like she can get any man.
by silhouette on August 9th, 2007
poor hygiene
by XxSpoofiesGirlxX on July 31st, 2007
When she is too controlling, possessive, & acts like an idiot.
by cupcakexcutie on July 28th, 2007
i chase 'em away when i become demanding/bitchy and than start nagging all the time. usually, it is because i am unhappy, but w/e. also, when women purposely mention other men in an attempt to make their man jealous [manipulation], that tends to be not only obvious, but unattractive.
by ATLguy4life on September 14th, 2008
I immediately lose interest when a woman doesn't express any ambitions or goals. I am a goal oriented person and i want a partner not a trophy. I want someone to go through life with, not someone else i have to carry through it on my back. Women who have no desire or intention of caring for themselves are a major turn off.
Note: when a man takes you on a date, around date 2 or 3 offer to pay, or insist on going dutch nothing makes me respect a person more than a person who respects themself enough to share the financial burdens even early in the relationship.
by Queen Bee on February 21st, 2008
Her loss of interest in him.
by ValentineHeart on February 18th, 2008
I think it depends on the individuals involved. What makes one man stay can be what drives another man away (example: nagging to one man can be annoying, and another man may see it as evidence that the woman cares enough to nag, and to another man, nagging may be just what he needs to motivate him to overcome his laziness). Now, assuming we are talkng about a mature adult male who is relatively emotionally healthy and maybe even stable, what makes a man or ANYone lose interest is not expressing dissatisfaction. If either the man or the woman is dissatisfied about something in the relationship and does not do anything about, but instead just lets it go on and gets more and more fed up with it, each person will sense this growing resentment and it will eventually make both people cold and ready to move on. My boyfriend told me once "What men want is very simple: feed me, sleep with me, and know when to be quiet." So they don't really get fed up easily. And guys generally (with exceptions of course) don't like emotional confrontation. They'll deal with a lot to avoid an arguement, which makes it harder for women, because now we have to guess at what pisses them off, because by the time they actually TELL us what pisses them off, it's often to late. We often know what pisses our guy off, though, we just can't help ourselves sometimes, we keep doing whatever it is, usually to passive-agressively get back at them for doing whatever it is they do that pisses US off. And when it backfires and the "lose interest in us" because we couldn't just say "Hey, I really resent you for watching tv while I cook your dinner for you, would you at least peel a potato for me or even just sit in the kitchen and talk to me while I cook," we retaliate by finding things to nag about and reasons to deny him sex and then we wonder why he isn't interested anymore and what drove him away. Sorry for the lengthy answer, but I never know when to shut up (fortunately, my boyfriend and I talk about our problems, so he tells me when it's time to be quiet - politlely of course)
by Pointeman1 on February 1st, 2008
I believe that routine and habit can lead to both losing interest in each other; not just the man.
I think that a little unpredictability in any relationship between a man and a woman is healthy for them both.
For both. New clothes; news hairstyle; or just doing something together can help keep the interest up.
Sometimes, being away from one another can actually hold off the onset of lost of interest. Doing things that are interest of only to both individuals and not as a group can sometimes also keep things interesting especially if the other is curious and wants to hear what the other was doing.
In short; don't stop exploring each or the world around you and perhaps that will keep up interest in the both of you.
by Sunshine1 on December 30th, 2007
not keeping herself busy - maybe ALWAYS having time to see him wouldn't be fun for they guy - not enough chasing and desire going on?
doesn't give him time to himself - or the same for herself
Just think back to the beginning of the relationship:
Keeping the thrills, the sexiness, the excitement, the love & good conversations in your relationship will surely keep him from losing interest ;)
by Anonymous on December 6th, 2007
Why do most these answers deal with sex? If a man loses interest in a women because there is no more sex, or the sex is the great, then the relationship itself is only a relationship based on sex. For me, a man loses interest in a woman when the woman has changed her ways of who she use to be to that of the man she is with.
by rawr.760 on November 2nd, 2007
apparently poor attitudes, and depression
by calypso on July 31st, 2007
Excessive jealousy
by Ender is back.. And slightly confused. on July 28th, 2007
Of my two major relationships, one was three and a half years long, and the other was a year and a half long. The main difference between the two: The variation of emotions on her part. The first girl was consistently happy and in a good mood, with the uncommon day of moodiness or being unhappy. The second girl was EXTREMELY up and down. I mean a matter of hours. One hour she would be fun, affection, sexual, naughty, and then the next hour, quite literally, she would behave like a psychotic bitch and push me away.
Just keep your emotions in check, and don't try to be manipulative.
by rdrainer on July 28th, 2007
I lose interest if she is too demanding of me. That gets scary, like she's chasing a commodity. Friendly is good, and a little bit naughty is better, but controlling is never a good thing. I can also tell when manipulation is underway, and that could be a big red flag, depending on which direction she appears to be taking it.
by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on July 28th, 2007
I lose interest in a woman if she is too shallow or illogical.
by Rupster on October 22nd, 2008
Letting herself go, not taking pride in herself, her life, her body, her ambitions, her passions. Being negative and always criticizing.
by jensmaname on April 18th, 2008
Few different factors, depending on how superficial they are.
-Sex isn't great (can't deny it)
-Woman doesn't keep things exciting or spice things up (men crave mystery and excitement and women who don't deliver are slowly let go.)
-When a woman begins to know TOO much about a man and is too involved in their lives. (For example, knowing everything bout his family and showing up at work."
-Women who are afraid to take risks and do something different. Guys want a girl who can venture into something new.
-A woman who becomes too motherly!!! Definitely. Setting out clothes, setting cell phone....HUGE turn off at least for the young restless male who's not ready for a serious relatiionship.
by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on April 1st, 2008
Number one for me is when a woman starts to think that 2 + 2 equals whatever the Hell she wants it to (in other words, she starts to throw all logic out the window just because she needs to be right about everything). Nothing on this Earth is worth being with a woman like that.
by lukester on February 11th, 2008
i want my lady to remind me that she loves me. i want her respect most of all. you don't have to agree with me or tell me im the greatest. simply remind me occassionally that you respect me and what i "try" to do for you. we all can't earn millions or do the dishes like you want us too, but trying to help or trying to provide the best way we can, is sometimes all we can do. we crave respect more then love. if you respect me, i will love you more.
by Anonymous on January 26th, 2008
When he becomes successful (typically thanks to much help from the woman in his life) and his ego gets bigger due to his new money and status. At that point, he tends to have the misconception that the women who tell him nice things and feed his ego actually would be there if he were still the struggling man that his (now uninteresting) wife married.
(Yes, I spent nearly two decades helping bring my husband from barely breaking minimum wage to a nice six figure income, and now he's telling me I'm "Boring and Stifling" - so I know a little about this.)
by Jimmyp on January 21st, 2008
When you don't know someone well it is like a secret you are trying to find the answer to. It seems so big and interesting. After you learn the answer (become familiar with that person/woman) the secret is gone and it isn't interesting anymore. Now you must move on to the next secret (next woman). Etcetera, etcetera...
by sweetcheeks on January 8th, 2008
She nags all of the time
She whines, moans, or bitches all of the time
Always has her hand out for money, never giving anything back in return
Never cleans house, leaving dirty dishes in the sink, and piles of trash all over the place
Never does his laundry
Dosent feed his children or him for that matter
Dosent take care of herself, or her appearance
Dosent take an interest in his interests- (darts, riding motorcycles, ect.)
Dosent keep a job, or care about responsibilities
Dosent have sex with him and keeps the kids in the bed with her every night, keeping him from sleeping in his own bed
Dosent allow him to spend time with his friends, (which he does need by the way)
The list goes on and on !
by barney on January 1st, 2008
I stopped having sex with my mate about 3 or 4 years ago because she bacame pretty much bed-bound due to a bad back from being overweight her whole life. At first it was from fear of hurting her. As time went by all sexual feelings for her are gone. I honestly don't know how much longer I can live with her.
by look closely it is really me on December 16th, 2007
There's only one answer if the guy is hetrosexual, it's another woman.
by Missy on December 6th, 2007
WHEN SHE CHANGES. BOTH HER BODY AND PERSONALITY ARE DIFFERENT FROM WHEN HE MET HER
by Wild One on November 12th, 2007
Her attitude about the relationship changes, he becomes nothing more then a piece of furniture. She doesn't enjoy sex with him anymore, all she does is complain. It makes life not very fun and the cause is clear. The man moves on.
by xxx on November 3rd, 2007
Bitchiness. Sp? I found that the more bitchy I am, the less interested my old man is.
by The Sun on October 27th, 2007
He's already spread his seed in her.
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Comments
Simply Amazing.
by Chuunin Ninja on July 31st, 2007
Yeah, but you didn't score it ...
by M Moon on August 1st, 2007
sorry, tell me if it goes through. =)
by Chuunin Ninja on August 1st, 2007
Yeah, it did, as you can see for yourself! I just feel the need to ask you, how did this answer affect you personally? I believe its one of the points we here at AB really want to accomplish! Not only 'getting assistance' in any of our own personal challenges, but to send out our heart-felt, real life personal experiences too!
Thanks for your support; looking forward to 'reading' about you!
M
by M Moon on August 1st, 2007
It made me think. if i want more from her, then i have to give more. You say that you have experience and you also speak like it. =) It made me think of the little things like sometimes shes not the nicest to me, so what! were not gonna be mario and luigi every day. I did let her know tonight that she doesnt have to change anything on account of me because i love her just the way she is.
by Chuunin Ninja on August 1st, 2007
YOU MADE MY DAY! Wish I had more room here to respond=lots of thoughts! It seems most couples don't keep ROMANCE going! Beloved makes my coffee EVERY morning, with an attached post-it love note! (I have saved all of them and will make a collage for him for our 25th this year!) My love notes are in the crotch of his tightie-whites (as a surprise), in his calendar=days ahead, in his shoes, wound into the rolled toilet paper (knowing 'when), in his ball caps, even frozen in ice cubes! EVERY DAY we DO something 'special:' keeps our toes up, 'What can I do that's DIFFERENT today?' When he is 'not the nicest' I figure that's WHEN he needs more love, no interference from me, but a quiet-like lover 'who knows.' EVERY SUNDAY is our traditional 'date day,' NO ONE 'gets in' this day. PERIOD. We are corn balls and goofy in love: we MAINTAIN IT. Truth is, once you're on a roll, it just becomes easier and easier to do!
by M Moon on August 2nd, 2007
How can anyone view that singular person they fell in love in the first place as anything other than oh-my-god-fabulous and how-did-I-get-so-lucky? Thing is, I've literally noticed when ANYONE 'starts' thinking of their beloved as 'less,' sooner or later, guess what? They 'become' less! And, most likely, THEY didn't do anything to deserve this shift! Yeah, we're all human. Some times each of us takes a turn at being creeps. When that happens, the last thing any of us needs is for our beloved to blame us for it! As a LOVER, we KNOW that other guy, 'the creep,' already knows they are creepy! We trust them to know it! What the other guy needs is empathy: 'God, I've been there myself!' So, an obvious question may be, 'How do WE want to be treated when we've had an 'off' day?' DAH! mmmm ... maybe it's the safety of home ... the security of knowing we're loved no matter what ... 'a soft place to fall.' In rational relationships, this understanding is usually unspoken.
by M Moon on August 2nd, 2007
What I've witnessed: Once an individual starts 'finding fault,' this has let in an almost uncontrollable dragon, whose fire starts burning everything good in its path. Everything from the 'simplest start' of: 'If only he'd ... dress up more ... watch less sports (say) ... spend more time with me ... wants less sex ... more sex ... would lose weight ... gain weight ... WHATEVER' (reverse these phrases for the woman in your life and add your own) that dragon takes over. I don't know about anyone else, but I have personally attempted to shut that closet of Pandora's Box, figuring none of us are perfect ... we're ALL too fat, too skinny, too self-conscious, too bald, too hairy, too crazy, too sane, too lazy, too hyper, too WHATEVER at some point ... but over a lifetime one sees that EVERYTHING changes. Including, hopefully, our own 'bad' behaviors and/or habits. What was that moment that in love's first blush ... love's first real commitment? Oooooh yeah: 'For better or worse!'
Amen
by M Moon on August 2nd, 2007
You astound me! Can I give more points somewhere!?!?! You are truly a great help thank you! =D
by Chuunin Ninja on August 2nd, 2007
You are great! YOU CAN DO THIS!
By the way, read some of my other answers, maybe you can give me more points in them? HA! Actually, if you went to some of my others, you'd get to view how I/we think overall. No, I'm not perfect, neither is anyone else. But, good grief, couldn't we just ATTEMPT to make our own lives and the world at large a better place?
I say: YEAH! Bring 'it' on!
by M Moon on August 2nd, 2007
By the way, Chuunin Ninja: A PROFOUND THANK YOU!!!!!!
by M Moon on August 2nd, 2007
You are very welcome. =)
by Chuunin Ninja on August 2nd, 2007
wow. i envy u.
by Anonymous on August 21st, 2007
ANNOYMOUS: Don't envy anyone -- YOU are a unique, one-of-a-kind jewel of a person! As you read this, STOP. LOOK UP and AROUND YOU. There IS at least one thing in front of you that is simply AMAZING, a gift. Maybe its his/her panties, empty in the laundry basket, that reminds you 'WHAT A BUTT!' or a picture of you two on the wall (long forgotten its there) that reminds you of 'that time together' ...MEOW!' Or, if you put your face into his/her pillow, you will be reminded of their individual scent that drove you or still drives you crazy -- even that icky smell! HA! Or, you are actually sitting in a chair that you thought neither of you would ever be able to afford ... or ... just the memory of his/her laugh! You get my point, right?
Life swishes by so fast! I just don't want the moments of being ALIVE, and the pure privilege to love another to be forgotten ...
by M Moon on August 21st, 2007
Thanks for sharing your experience, I know someone who will appreciate this right now.
by sawdustissexy on August 30th, 2007
You are welcome! Honest to god, I wish -- oh how I wish -- people in close relationships could understand just how very, very simple loving really is! All that s**t that we 'think' is 'really' important doesn't count a hare's breath to the value of intimate cooperation, let alone completely and utterly understanding that love takes effort. No, I don't mean, effort that is a chore by any shape or form.
I and beloved believe that, 'Hey, what might I DO TODAY to make our love shine even brighter?' And each of us, has our very special ways of demonstrating it! EVERY DAY one (or both) of us will literally remark, 'Look at what we have!' or concretely DO things that are romantic. [Maybe its a sexy note in his underwear drawer or a romantic card placed inside the book I know he will read tonight in bed; he makes coffee for me every morning (says, it's his job=HA!) with a post-it on it, each and every day with some new words of love: this has gone on for 25 years!]
This 'romance business' is above all things like paying bills or even the kids, above the challenges each of us face individually, whether personally, in family, in friendships or business, these all come in 'last' when our demonstration of love is the essence of everything, and is all that matters, after all, in the end.
I don't know about anyone else, but I can share with you, when WE get into bed at night, the world virtually stops and we are but the only two remaining in it.
by M Moon on August 30th, 2007
That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard! I only hope that my relationship can stay as loving as it is now.
by PT girl 08 on November 12th, 2007
YOU will ... IF ... you PRACTICE all the love and affection you did during that first week of dating, way before it became a 'done deal.' Loving takes all kinds of romantic efforts, but what is so way cool about it is both win big time!
Tomorrow we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary! And, I don't know it I mentioned it, but we believe and act as if we are STILL on our honeymoon! MEOWZA!
You don't need 'luck' whatsoever.
The only two things you need are
BELIEF .... that 'it' is so each and every second of your day ... no matter what
and
COOPERATION.
by M Moon on November 12th, 2007
Thanks again, and Happy Anniversary!!!!!
by PT girl 08 on November 12th, 2007
Thanks! Did you see the anniversary pix yet? GOD, we had such a wonderful ROMANTIC time: best table at the edge of the sea ... there for three hours ... oh oh oh oh oh how I wish I could give every couple 'the wisdom' of HOW to have such an amazing, cooperative, let alone ROMANTIC relationship after ALL these years ... and STILL COUNTING ... don'cha'know!
by M Moon on November 14th, 2007
Good for you. Congratulations! =)
by Chuunin Ninja on November 17th, 2007
M Moon, every time I read one of your answers I fall a bit more in love with you... If only you were a single MAN!
by Anonymous on November 21st, 2007
Guess ... IF you do your own 'homework' I will figure a magical way to send you your very own! But first, YOU must be the 'whole' one to receive the preception of what IS just perfect for you, my dear!
BEST from me: Marlene
by M Moon on December 7th, 2007
Wow! You should have your own TV Show! Move over Dr. Phil!
by Pointeman1 on January 26th, 2008
wow that was a realy good answer. It made me think alot.. and it is VERY true what you just had to say there :) good job :)
by Disko Fari on January 30th, 2008
I want to thank each and every one of you for actually reading about how beloved and I maintain one of the most incredible and romantic of marriages. Through this intimate sharing on my part, you, yourself, have discovered personally provocative ideas you can bring to yourself and then with acknowledgment and acceptance embrace your partner AS yourself.
Note: I am convalescing from Lung Cancer Surgery. This is one reason why I haven't been on AB or commenting on those responses I hold dear, like the ones to this question!
To this, I add: NOW is your only time left. Nothing but nothing is more important to you personally than being, frankly, allowed to love another human being. We all teach each other how to love us in return! For me? I have been being taken care of during this phase of our marriage with such intimate caring (yes, I believe caring for someone is intimate) that through my physical pain & challenges ALL I FEEL is LOVE from him ... for him.
by M Moon on February 5th, 2008
Mrs. Phil never thought i would meet her
by Sexyrabbit on May 13th, 2008
Thank you for taking the time to share that information.
by BDazzled on June 12th, 2008
Thank YOU ... ALL!
by M Moon on June 12th, 2008
Very good!!!! Wow, I'm almost left speechless after reading that. As a man, I can tell you that is absolutely true. Women just need to show more to thier man, and they will show more back. If they don't, dump them and find a dude that does! Never expect to get when you don't give first!!! :)
Kudos!!!
by Strijer on July 14th, 2008
Thanks for your response!
by M Moon on July 14th, 2008
ok, i get it the idea of give him sex on command, but you never really got back to the part where he is giving something.
by ladyshakespeare on September 1st, 2008
Geez-louise ... I believe you could go back and not only read it but read all the comments down to the latest. If you want a short answer to '...get back to the part of where he is giving something ...'
it would be:
'You got to be willing to give what you want to get!' and that INCLUDES affection (not just sex for sex sake = you missed my point entirely so I think after all you didn't 'get it.'
by M Moon on September 2nd, 2008
I think we are dealing with two very different generations of men! I have given all my love, affection, dressed up in all the slutty outfits,ive done it all for him, and im still just this b*tch that wont let him have sex with anyone he wants. So, giving him what i want to receive has been an utter failure. The only tome he even acknowledges that I exist is when we are having sex. I am hearing the same stories from many of the wives in my age group and community. Perhaps men are just different now. Its seems with men in their late 20's and early 30's, being able to have multiple partners is a VERY BIG DEAL to them. Should we just allow it?
by ladyshakespeare on September 6th, 2008
No, maybe you are all just with the wrong men.
by PT girl 08 on September 7th, 2008
I totally agree with PT girl 08. After all is said and done it is the 'I' that chooses ... 'I' pick the guy for me ... 'I' choose to stay with the ass**** who doesn't treat me with the same equality, respect, adoration, care, support and finance that I give him. To me? This is a no-brainer. I would rather be completely and utterly alone than 'be sick' with someone else.
BTW: Points really don't matter ... in the beginning ... or in the end.
Exchange of ideas and mutual, cooperative support means the world.
Guess I'm just a Corny Cathy.
by M Moon on September 21st, 2008
Great answer:)
by Lippycow on October 31st, 2008
Thanks honey ... thought you might not just enjoy it ... but USE the stuff that fits into your own relationship and personalities, eh?
by M Moon on October 31st, 2008
Im going on 21 years of married life or do i mean strife lol
by Lippycow on October 31st, 2008
OH NO! NOT 'strife!' What's up sweetness? How can I help?? CAN I help??
by M Moon on October 31st, 2008
No i was only joking but thanks for the offer,i know where to come for some expert advice:)
by Lippycow on October 31st, 2008
amazing answer, we could all learn something from that, ive only been married 6 years.. our problem is we dont make enough time for each other - we're too busy working, amusing the kids, doing chores around the house.. we tend to forget about one another..
by Mentalmum is back on November 1st, 2008
Well, our 'trick' is to DAILY practice celebration of our passion through romance in daily micro-moments. One might, after all, only have a few moments before dashing off 'to take care of business. You know, that 'other' business called Life which is actually indifferent to whether you are actively IN love or just passing relationship time/ life together. It is rewardingly amazing how one little tiny thing can take a cherished one through a whole day. We, in our 'silliness' see this as a great challenge, a kind of true-fun 'game,' to make what we do for the other corny, sometimes silly sexy, but always with the FEEL of immediacy: THIS, indeed, may be our last moments together ... our last words ... our last chance to share how much the other has meant to us. For example, beloved makes me coffee each and every morning (for 26 years, for cryin' out loud) jokingly saying, 'Its my job!' The java is great, but what's BETTER is EVERY MORNING he writes a post-it and pastes it on the cup.
by M Moon on November 1st, 2008
I? I've been known to leave surprise notes...mmm, with drawings of 'his-ya-know' (ha-ha) in his underwear drawer. I might leave a note that says HUGE! (A better HA-HA!) Or under the soap in the shower. I might leave a pair of lacy panties stuck between the book he's reading. StHis favorite thing, other than me, is golf. So I ALWAYS cheer him out the door, wish him happiness and a brilliant game. I NEVER, EVER say, 'Oh no, not again!!!' A happy husband is a happy wife. A wife who hums has a husband who sings. I"LL buy HIM one flower, put it on his desk.
I'll find his favorite nuts, cashews, and put the bag in his sock drawer without saying anything. I"m ALWAYS looking for something 'out there' that he'll appreciate. But no, it isn't the things we buy for each other no matter how little or big. It is the apparent effort, the determined forethought, the KNOWING that each LOVES to be romantic. There is never a 'have-to' on the other hand, this would ruin it for both of us.
by M Moon on November 1st, 2008
Then? Well, there are the thousand and one micro-moments like, hugging and touching, however briefly or provocatively, no matter what is going on ...
When he/I leaves: "Come back to me!" Answer: "Be here."
Or
Remembering TO SAY all those only-between-you-and-me 'sayings' that have endeared us to each other over the years ...
Or
little stupid drawings on the bathroom mirror
Or
a puffed up bed pillow just the way he loves it
Or
Or
Or
Well, ya get it now, don't cha?
by M Moon on November 1st, 2008
i sure do.. now you got me thinking.. we used to do stuff like that before the kids came along. i used to put love notes in his lunchbox for work, that kinda stuff, i guess along the way we have lost that .... i'll try to fix it for sure now you have mentioned it. We really need some 'us' time..
thanks for helping me with that Marlene, i'll let you know how it goes!:)
by Mentalmum is back on November 1st, 2008
OH I am soooooooooo happy for you (two!)!!! We've done this all along, even with the kids here. The thing of it is EVERYTHING goes by so damn fast and 'mom and dad' are kinda the last in line in most families. Truth is before you know it the kids WILL BE gone and there will be, once again, just the two of you. Now that isn't the number one reason for keeping romance alive, but it sure as hell is love-money in the bank, ya know? THE number one reason is the only way to bring out the best in ourselves is to act the best with everyone else and if he/she doesn't deserve BEFORE all else, who the hell does? AND ... THE POINT in this fabulous, oh-so-difficult life is to TREASURE it before its gone!
Its like Heaven ON Earth, IF we make it so, never, ever to be taken for granted and always felt as a precious privilege, an honor ... A Life Worth Living.
(And, another reward? YOU [both] will be literally role-modeling for the kiddies WHAT LOVE IS ... WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE ... HOW IT ACTS!!!
by M Moon on November 1st, 2008
It'll MAKE THEM soooooooooooo happy to be around so much love. They will ALWAYS know where
the real deal is and can always trust this, return to it when they start facing and creating their own lives.
by M Moon on November 1st, 2008
very true!!! you should write a book marlene!
by Mentalmum is back on November 2nd, 2008
HA! Actually, I have, but not on marriage. I might consider doing something like this when I 'really' retired. [[[[ HUGGGGSSS ]]]]
by M Moon on November 2nd, 2008
you did? what did you write??
by Mentalmum is back on November 3rd, 2008
Wrote an 'industry' workbook for actors and directors; originally used in/when giving my Master's Class (had a two year wait-list to get in). Had the honor of teaching/coaching national and international actors/directors for over twenty years in my own and owned studio. Later, had the privilege of coaching Olympic gold-medal athletes, very high-end keynote speakers & CEO's in 'Peak Performance' methods and modalities. Then coached in NASA. All used my workbook. It was never publicly published but have heard that literally thousands have been replicated and 'passed on.' Gotta love that. I personally only have about four left in possession. My 'teaching' copy has tons of 'new' notes and its another one of those, 'When I get around to it, I'll revise it.'
Also, beloved and I have been asked [hundreds of times] to give class in cooperation and 'relationship cooperation.' Now, wouldn't that be a hoot? He says no ... but I say? Maybe by myself.
Wish there was more TIME.
by M Moon on November 6th, 2008
Bad smell
by mariyam on December 12th, 2008
Wow, that is wonderful marlene!
@mariyan..what do you mean 'bad smell'?
by Mentalmum is back on December 13th, 2008
Thanks Mental!! (I LOVE writing 'Mental!' for you!)
by M Moon on December 13th, 2008
hehe.. how are you doing Marl????
by Mentalmum is back on December 16th, 2008
Oh girl ... I dunno ... honestly. Seems like I just am exhausted all the time (not my style) and attempting to find peace surrounding it. I did way too much yesterday and ended up crying really hard for a very long time! Poor beloved ... he was/is very kind.
I have to move my art studio THIS WEEK and it makes me tired just thinking about it! Already got another space, closer to home.
How are YOU!!!???!!
by M Moon on December 16th, 2008
what?? are you leaving that wonderful art studio up on the hill?? the one you sent me pics of?? i hope not, it looks so wonderful. Now what you have to realise is - your body has been through so much honey, and while the brain is very active, the body is not so able to deal with all the 'normal things' you used to be able to do!! you MUST take it easy.... ok...sermon over!!
im ok, had a virus the past couple of days but better now,im back to work tomorrow :)
by Mentalmum is back on December 16th, 2008
Yes, the art studio is ... as they say here ... 'pau!' (Over) The main landlord gave me and the other renter until the end of the month to pack up and leave!! I took a very large Public Storage locker, close to home, to organize as a 'walk-in-locker,' taking home only the supplies being used there and then. Its a drag, but truthfully, I haven't been painting much these days. But, I just heard that the new Trump Tower art directors are interested in at the very least viewing some of my artwork for the hotel rooms there. I'd be excited if I wasn't so f'ing exhausted.
We'll see ... just having a heck of a time prioritizing A N Y T H I N G.
Sorry for being such a poo-poo whiner-head!
by M Moon on December 16th, 2008
ya your right on moon i hate it when women try and control and manipulate every little thing.
kudos and recognizing how men interpret love thru sex
by SigFreud27 on June 16th, 2009
Thanks for sharing. Perfect.
by Anonymous on July 21st, 2009
Thanks for YOUR input! (I've been offline for some time now. Happy to be back for a while.
by M Moon on August 1st, 2009
Fantastic and empowering advice( I imagine for both genders?) What a whollop of a positive affirmation, a worthwhile manifestation to work on. My God but do I have to face my own music..and AM I THE PERSON I WOULD WANT TO MARRY? Most deeply and sincerely, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
by SunFlowerSeed on September 23rd, 2009
YOU have brought a huge smile to my face and lit my spirit today. Yes, these things DO WORK.
Best of luck to you, my friend.
M
by M Moon on September 29th, 2009