ANSWERS: 6
  • Probably not in the way you are thinking of. But for me seduction is not something one person does to another but more the little dance that goes on between people. He says something, I respond to it, he does something and I react and so on. Even if I am bold enough to sit down next to him and start a conversation if he doesn't show any interest pretty soon I am going to move on. There are a lot of men just interested in sex but the dance is on our part finding the ones interested in it specifically with us. And most very soon understand that we are interested or not interested. Some are more timid or of less confidence or just a little thick when it comes to us and even sending them all the signs - like touching them and looking at them and smiling at them, pulling closer to them - they still don't get it so we might have to do more. Like whisper to them "I want you to make love to me" or "I want us to be together". Which is more unusual and more extreme. Sometimes after all my little attentions they still seem unsure and once one of them asked me "well do you think you would like to go out with me" and it was just so seemingly ludicrous I burst out with "what do you think, silly?" Although I may have felt like saying OK if you are not interested then just forget it. But mostly for me it is just a matter of giving them the message that we are available and if they are interested they will take it from there. As for the other part of your question - some men if they are good with us or if there is chemistry there sex can be good from the first time. But mostly takes some adjusting to one another which is part of the getting to know process during which it becomes clear how well suited we could be and whether he likes me well enough to be willing to make it good for me. So can take a few times or even a few weeks before it gets good. Sometimes longer than that.
    • dorat
      That was a great answer. Yes, not quite what I was asking, but still really interesting. By the way, I totally get that some guys don't always get the signals. Been there, done that, as they say. I am not always the brightest bulb on the tree. Still, has there never been a situation where you just wanted to have sex with the guy no matter what and so turned on the charm - or the booze or the drugs or whatever - just to get him in the sack? As always, please don't answer if it is too personal, but you always hear of guys seducing the girl - sometimes in NOT good ways (see also Bill Cosby) - so does it ever work the other way?
    • officegirl
      Haha since when was anything on AB too personal for me? Honestly dorat I don't understand the whole drunken sex thing that seems to have become so prevalent among young people. Why would I want someone that is drunk? And certainly I am not at my best in terms of feeling if I have had too much to drink. Please understand that I have never been what most men would think of as pretty or beautiful or even cute so I never much expected really attractive men would be interested in me which was fine because when it did happen then I could enjoy that but either way I went with those who came my way if I liked them. The are of the possible. Which in part is why I see myself as more practical and realistic than romantic which is more for women who get noticed a lot. All the rest of us knew we had to make up in personality, flexibility, ease of manner etc. what we lacked in looks. So most of my boyfriends were just guys I hung out with and went home with and then they just liked having me around cause I was easy to be around and did not ask a lot outside of sex and I would stay with them a number of months until I felt I had overstayed my welcome and then move on. I was not the type of person that inspired men to want to marry me - or very few at least. But I had mostly goof relationships though not long ones. I have been with my husband for going on six years now which is a record for me!
    • dorat
      You are waaaayyyyy too harsh on yourself. Guys don't sleep with women that they don't think are good looking. You may not be a movie star - they are pretty hard to come by - but I am sure that you are better looking than you give yourself credit for. Really. Now maybe you didn't always get the guys you wanted - but did you really try? At the risk of bringing up a touchy subject, I remind you that your two good looking, highly successful brothers had sex with you - and one of them had even fantasized about it for years. Sorry, most of all, young good looking successful guys who can get any women they want won't sleep with - let alone fantasize about - you if they don't find you attractive. As to drunken sex, I think the only attraction it holds for some is the thought that when you are drunk, you are not in control and that may make the idea of sex all the more intense. I've been drunk and had sex and did not find that to be true - I enjoyed it, but no more nor less than when I am sober - but each new generation has to learn old lessons I guess. (I will say that I was never so drunk that I could not stand up, but who COULD have sex in THAT condition?) Anyhow, long term relationships START with attraction but don't end there. SEX starts with attraction and stays there. You were hot enough to have sexual relationships BECAUSE you were good looking and NOT because you weren't. Besides, you have a husband who loves you - I think if you are attractive enough to pull that off, you must be a looker - and never let anyone, including yourself, tell you differently..
  • Yes, I've seduced guys for sex. Flirting, touching, compliments, getting touchy/feely. Usually if I had a bit to drink myself, it helped lower my inhibitions. I generally did not stay with most guys for any type of relationship when I was just looking for sex.
    • dorat
      Great to hear from you. It's been a while. Just a quick follow-up. Did you ever seduce a guy just for sex and then end up falling for him - not immediately, of course, but over time - and end up dating him? If so, what happened, specifically? As always, no need to answer if it is too personal.
    • ladyEmma
      Yes, I have fallen for guys afterward. I would say just getting to know them more afterward and developing a bond was what lead to dating. I found out I liked them more than I had initially thought and that we had more in common than I knew.
    • dorat
      That's interesting. Typically men see sex as an expression of love, whereas women tend to see sex as an affirmation of a love that is already there. (As the saying goes, "for a man there is no love without sex, for a woman, there is no sex without love.") You'd think, therefore - and somewhat counterintuitively, that a guy would fall in love more easily after, say, a one night stand, than a woman. Anyhow, that's why I asked the question. Thanks.
  • Mmmm hmmm.
  • Mmmm hmmm.
  • Mmmm hmmm.
  • Mmmm hmmm.

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy