by 
damien
ANSWERS: 9
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No, but I know some really stupid ones! Q. What did the scarf say to the hat? A. You go on ahead, and I'll go around! You know you laughed.
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Q) Why did the Turkey cross the road? A) To prove he wasnt chicken.
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I know a nice clean one that I think is funny.... Why don't cannibals eat clowns?? Because they taste funny
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Q) What's the worst part about roller blading? A) Telling your parents that your gay.
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Speaking of chickens crossing... Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide:)
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Why does the pillsbury doughboy wear an apron? To cover his doughnuts :o
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A doctor and his wife were having a marital spat one morning. In the heat of the moment, the angry doctor blurted out "Yeah, well your lousy in bed, too!". He then stormed out the door and went to work. A few hours later, his anger subsided and he felt like he should patch things up. He called his wife and asked what she was doing. "I'm still in bed", she replied. "It's almost noon. What are you still doing in bed?", he asked. She replied, "Getting a second opinion." . . . Hell hath no fury.....;-D.....
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A blonde was going door to door looking for odd jobs.The first house she stopped at was rather fancy.the guy opened the door and said, "hello,what can i do for you?" she replied: "i'm looking for odd jobs to earn money, have any? he thought for a second, then said:"yeah, i will give you $75.00 to paint my porch,front and back." 20 minutes later she rang the door bell again and said finished! The man replied,"already?did you do the back to?" "Of course i got the back of your car! and by the way, thats a ferrari, not a porsche." hehe
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EVIL LAWYER A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did our research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no." "--or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "--or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "--so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!?"
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