I cheated on my boyfriend by performing oral sex on another guy. Now he can't bear having me do it to him. How can I help him get over it?
by 
Chrissydoll
ANSWERS: 21
-
You can't! Nothing's worse than having a girlfriend that has been degraded (sexually) by another man. Pyschologically damaging. -and when I say degraded, I'm meaning through his eyes she had degraded herself. -- ok... in his mind, is a mental picture of his GF being sexually degraded by another man. He's not going to see her performance of oral sex on another man as an act of intimacy, theres no way! She has lowered her value to him in that sense. She allowed her self to succumb to this fowl act. So thats why I say degraded. He cannot get over what she did to them and the oral sex is the reminder. Degrade: lower the grade of something; reduce its worth.
-
I hate to admit it, but Milk Man is right. Because of the exact situation you are in, you have next to know power to help him get over it. You're the one he feels uncomfortable with. The only hope that you have is that he gets over it himself, or somebody else helps him find a way to forgive you completely. But as many people have said, sometimes these things can never be completely forgiving. It can be very emotionally trying. Sorry.
-
Consider going for couples counselling. It can help the two of you work through it constructively. If things don't work out, at least the counsellor will be able to help you find closure to the relationship.
-
Ok now if i was ur b/f, first i would be totally gross out, then i would click right away, throw u to the curb and have no contact with u again. But again since im not him, i suggest giving him the amount of time he needs to recover from it but not if its gonna take yrs and yet he still doens't recover. If he still don't recover after years then move on and don't cheat. First of all why cheat, WHY? NO EXCUSES. Now that image will still be on his mind, so try spending more time with him, even go to counseling with him, get him nice gifts, wut he likes, and assure him that it was a big mistake and make sure it doens't happen again.
-
Ok... put yourself in HIS shoes. Now, would you forgive him if he performed oral intercourse on another woman? Don't say you would just because you'd want him to. You'd be mmmadly in love to forgive that. Oral sex just seems like something more deliberate and thought out. I could go on and hit different perspectives but... you get the point
-
Every time you open your mouth to say something he's thinking about how you opened that mouth to give another man a bj.
-
It's been over a year since you posted. How is life, have things been worked out? I am not nosey, just want to know if Answerbag viewpoints were of any help.
-
Shame on you.
-
maybe you should just stop attempting to give him head..there is nothing you can do to make it better.even if you pull out the most amazing technique and blow his mind, all he is going to wonder is if this is hhow you blew the friend. he has already forgiven you.just move on.i know how fun it can be to suck dick, but just move on...try sucking other body parts to get him excited instead...like his nipples.
-
mmm, yeah it is pretty hard for a man to get over it, buh since he still has you and didn't break up with you, that means you still mean something for him. AS long as the oral sex is concerned, just give him some time. Don't just give him for a while, the day he wants it, he will himself as you for it. So, just don't remind him by give him ..... for a while. just let him get over it. Time will change everything.
-
well cheating is the worst thing you can do in a relation ship, think of it from his point of view and sdticks his cock in another girl would you still want wthat in you afterwards. i would've emarressed you publicly and leave you on the sidewalk were it would be none of my buisness what you do and never have any thing to do with you. you should get on your hands and knees and do what ever he says for a year. im not trying to be mean but what you did is extremely wrong and unforgible.
-
You should not expect him to just get over it. You can just be loving and caring and understand his feelings. It is a very hard thing to get over and he may never get over it but you just need to be strong and not get upset.
-
Let another woman perform that on him...then he'll feel even and you might even laugh at this in the future. i mean girls and guys are pigs until there into there mid 30's then they want to be a king or queen and a huge rock...after banging all the college and bar guys in their lifetime.....its so ironic they are selective int here 30's when they look half as hot....but when young give it up like charity Get him a girl to perform oral sex on him and YOU WATCH. then it will be even
-
You cheated on him. I wouldn't blame him for never wanting to be with you again. He should leave you.
-
Why do you expect him to 'get over it'? How do you think you would feel if it was the other way around, and he had been giving another girl oral sex? You have damaged the relationship, probably fatally. I hope this will be a lesson to you.
-
You don't get it. face to pelvic sex is FAR more intimate than intercourse.....oh yeah. you ever noticein movies...they tell the hooker not to kiss the John..because the mouth is expoused 24/7 He liely "see's'" that every time he looks at you. My girl di it to me....I punished her by banging her over my car in her "sundress" at a picknick.... yeah that made us even.....its about getting even. beleive me. Get one of your girlfriend to pr=erform a mind blowing BJ...to humiliate yourself and restablish the man. Cause the man is the hunter protector.....he deserves payback. You don't understand the way a male mind works....we have given our points of view...some to harsh...but sexually i'd never kiss you again knowing while we were together aother mans organ splugged in your mouth
-
Chrissy you two need counseling and he needs space because his head is not in the relationship because he weighing the pros and cons of staying. The reason people are having a hard time helping because there is no single answer. Look up forums discussing couples reconciled post-infidelity. He needs assurance this won't ever happen again and to get the image of the guy out of his mind which takes time. Another question for you is why did you cheat? If you don't address this issue your relationship has no hope. We're you angry, spur of the moment, old crush or flame, etc. Yall need trust building exercises. He hasn't left so he wants to work it out on some level but he's also wondering if he's a fool for doing so. Either way seek a professional for you both or at the very least yourself. I hope that helps.
-
Simple. Tell him to get over it,or make tracks.Does he still kiss you?Your lips were around that cock and it probably came in your mouth,Right? Tell him if he doesn't get over it, you just wont do it to him anymore.Do you like sucking cock? You can always find other guys who would gladly accept your offer. I'm sure it won't be the last time,if you don't care about him that much.
-
Putting myself in his shoes, I don't think I could ever get over it. If he has truly forgiven you then he is a better man than me. If you guys really want to stay together you are just going to have to be patient and realize he may never get over what happened. Good luck to you.
-
Basically everytime you blow him he is looking at you and imagining the other guys dick in your mouth. I think the short answer is that time will heal the wound eventually, but there is nothing you can really do for him other than being a good girlfriend to him so that time passes. He needs to deal with it in his own mind and there isn't much you can do to help.
-
You said you cheateed on him, like if it was no big deal. IT IS A BIG DEAL. YOU beatrayed the trust he had in you, the intimacy and emotional attachement has been broken because of what you did. If you really care about this man, prove it to him and give him time to heal. Dont expect to be able to have sex with him right after you bj another guy? Put yourself in his shoes for once, think how would you feel if he was the one that gave it to another girl? Or not even, what if another girl gave bj to him? You would want to do it either. The images that are going thru his mind will not go away anytime soon,honey. I suggest you be completely open with him and give him the time he needs to heal.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC