First, here's a piece of advice that you may have heard before but I have found invaluable: in order for you to love others you have to be able to love yourself. So be proud of who you are, your accomplishments, and everything you do have, instead of thinking about what you do not have or what you could have. Although it is commendable to aspire to become a better person or lead a better life, I think a person should appreciate the life s/he has before trying to make it better; if you're trying to fix something about you that you'll never be happy with then you'll always be unhappy. The second thing I'll say is to never let anyone make you feel otherwise. If you believe in yourself and do things the way you want, to the best of your ability and that's all you can expect from yourself. Of course this is all easier said than done, and comes mostly from the inside. So referring to external sources of self-confidence I would suggest getting involved in group or volunteer activities that allow you to contribute/participate in a greater good/purpose. I find that having a communal or supportive group of people all with the same goal allows people to start something together, endure challenges, and overcome these challenges to accomplish something helps. If you're a physically active person, I would highly recommend trying martial arts--not only does it teach discipline, propriety, conduct, it allows you the release and environment where everyone is starting out just like you; skills you learn and ability to do them come from you and no one else, making you feel very accomplished, all in a supportive environment [hopefully if it is a decent instructor :)]. If not so physically active, I would encourage volunteering at a hospital, food bank, Habitat for Humanity, or some kind of charity. Here you can gain the confidence in knowing that your abilities and work was appreciated by someone who needed it. Good luck! :)

Great answer. Much of self-confidence has to do with inner dialogue. Think positively and your self-confidence will also improve. Here are two short and simple examples: POSITIVE: I am confident. NEGATIVE: I am not affraid. The positive message will have a stronger effect than the negative attempt at a similar message. In addition, when you are working out tell yourself you are building strength, flexibility, as you are jogging and you'll notice suddenly the workouts are much easier. Focus on the good benefits of your actions and you will feel good about yourself. Self-confidence is a dialogue and it's basically keeping that dialogue positive by focusing on the silver lining of every cloud. GREAT LUCK!

Improving self confidence is much easier than you may think. Starting now, visualize yourself doing things that you fear. Then write down your picture of yourself doing this feared thing. Then, tomorrow do it. Acting on your fears overcomes them. Courage is the natural byproduct of exposure to danger. Take action. Your self-confidence and self-esteem will grow immensely. And you will have one advantage that most self-confident people lack. -- Modesty. You will understand the work it took you to master yourself.

First you must do things that make you feel good. For example I like helping people and spending time with my kids, that makes me feel good. Also you must be postive. (It's not easy all the time.) Treat yourself every once in a while. (Don't over do your budget) Last but not least love your job I know I do. Those are some things that will increase your self-esteem. If you or anyone else will like more info on treatting your self. Go to my website: marykay.com/sarahp626 Once you get their you will be able to contact me by e-mail. Hope I help you out.

To improve self-esteem, do esteemable things. Volunteer, do good, set small goals and reach them.

Being that our world is a very physical one, I would recommend making yourself look as good as you can and also engage on some of the following (as applicable): a) lose weight b) get rid of the pimples in your face c) eat right d) get enough sleep e) get out more f) get a job you enjoy doing g) take a shower at least every other day h) help someone in need But above all, do not, DO NOT! ever feel sorry for yourself.

get some friends- ones that aren't mean. Some that can help build it, and those that can care for you.

don't put yourself down. think about the good things about yourself and you will be happier.

There are some excellent books available for free online. Search for "Getting Off the Hook"by Juriaan Plesman on books.google.com The two chapters on Positive Ego Training Programme are really useful.

Look in the mirror everyday and say am beautiful. Always tell yourself something positive.Try new things, like sports. Whenever someone tells you a negative turn it around into a positive. Like is someone tells you are ugly, tell them ''am not Ugly God made me beautiful your just mad cuz am pretty''. Never let people bring you down, because always remember those same persons who are talking bad about you are the same people who wish they had your curves etc..

YEA.. i've been waiting for this. HERE is a method that WILL ABSOLUTELY increase your confidence and make you happy.at some points, more confident than others around you. this WILL change your life forever. and it will start taking effect until you feel better,better ,better. soon, you will see who you are now,and be like, man, im glad im not like that anymore...and as for women,sure it will help..why not? comment on this if you want me to put this out there. if no comment, how would i know if u wanna hear it?lol

I did it by learning how to do something really difficult, it was a long road (and it was head not to quit) but at that end of it I thought 'well if I can do that, I can do anything'. Soon after I had a great life and a positive outlook, these days the world is my oyster :o) Good luck.

Look at your gifts and attributes. Look at yourself as no other is like you. Your an individual and I am sure you have talents and giftings.May be you can not see them yet but they are there. We are are unique and have a great purpose in this world. It does not matter what others view you as, you are special and you.

Exercise and eating healthy! I suffer from low self esteem and self confidence, I always have. My issues are not just about looks. I am in constant conflict with myself about my personal life choices and lack of motivation. I have recently started working out for an hour everyday and cut down on fattening food and I feel soooo much better about myself, I look better too. Its really hard and you have to really want to do it to make it work. I have also found that the music I listen to is mood altering as well. I have tried listening to "happier" music and it seems to work. Good luck!

Read this, it is something I wrote: In His Love: Seeing Yourself As God Sees You http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dcp466nb_38dmk7vvc4&hl=en The answer to low self esteem is this: Live knowing God's immeasurable, unending, unconditional love. Live seeing yourself as He sees you, as He created you. Knowing what He thinks of you, sees in you, and what you are to Him. Knowing that God looks at the heart (not outward appearances as man does)--and He desires yours. And knowing that to God you are gorgeous, cherished, special, adored, loved, desired, and pursued. And, most importantly (the most important truth you will ever discover) knowing God loves you so much that He wants you to spend eternity with Him in heaven and responding to His call of love--the love you were made for (God created you to have a relationship with Him so you could enjoy His love. You were created for intimacy with God) . See above link. "What He is after is *you*--your laughter, your tears, your dreams, your fears, your heart of hearts. He wants *you*. And he has moved heaven and earth to get you." ~The Sacred Romance, by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge (See link above). Two great books on the topic you could read: Who Calls Me Beautiful: Finding Our True Image in the Mirror of God" by Regina Franklin. "This book tackles issues of insecurity, self-worth, failure, and so much more. Reading this book allows you to begin seeing yourself as God sees you -- a beautiful daughter of His. Are you feeling down on yourself? Depressed? Ashamed of how you look? Believe that you aren't beautiful because you need to lose weight? Then you owe it to yourself to read this! ANY woman who struggles with the issues of conforming to the world's idea of 'beauty' should really get a copy of this. I think you will really enjoy it, and hopefully it will change your life as much as it has mine." Back cover description: "Franklin skillfully chips away at the belief that a woman's body is more important that her character. Patiently pointing to Scripture, she convincingly shows that true beauty starts inside and radiates outward. It is this proper biblical understanding of God's design for women that empowers them to move beyond the cultural standards and the world's 'ideal woman.' When you see yourself as God see you, as He created you, suddenly you have the freedom to be the unique woman you are created to be in Christ. And you can then pass this legacy on to other generations of women." You can buy it here for $7.99: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product The New York Times Best seller: "Captivating: Unveiling The Mystery of A Woman's Soul" by John and Stasi Eldgredge "The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating."

Read this, it is something I wrote: In His Love: Seeing Yourself As God Sees You http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dcp466nb_38dmk7vvc4&hl=en The answer to low self esteem is this: Live knowing God's immeasurable, unending, unconditional love. Live seeing yourself as He sees you, as He created you. Knowing what He thinks of you, sees in you, and what you are to Him. Knowing that God looks at the heart (not outward appearances as man does)--and He desires yours. And knowing that to God you are gorgeous, cherished, special, adored, loved, desired, and pursued. And, most importantly (the most important truth you will ever discover) knowing God loves you so much that He wants you to spend eternity with Him in heaven and responding to His call of love--the love you were made for (God created you to have a relationship with Him so you could enjoy His love. You were created for intimacy with God) . See above link. "What He is after is *you*--your laughter, your tears, your dreams, your fears, your heart of hearts. He wants *you*. And he has moved heaven and earth to get you." ~The Sacred Romance, by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge (See link above). Two great books on the topic you could read: Who Calls Me Beautiful: Finding Our True Image in the Mirror of God" by Regina Franklin. "This book tackles issues of insecurity, self-worth, failure, and so much more. Reading this book allows you to begin seeing yourself as God sees you -- a beautiful daughter of His. Are you feeling down on yourself? Depressed? Ashamed of how you look? Believe that you aren't beautiful because you need to lose weight? Then you owe it to yourself to read this! ANY woman who struggles with the issues of conforming to the world's idea of 'beauty' should really get a copy of this. I think you will really enjoy it, and hopefully it will change your life as much as it has mine." Back cover description: "Franklin skillfully chips away at the belief that a woman's body is more important that her character. Patiently pointing to Scripture, she convincingly shows that true beauty starts inside and radiates outward. It is this proper biblical understanding of God's design for women that empowers them to move beyond the cultural standards and the world's 'ideal woman.' When you see yourself as God see you, as He created you, suddenly you have the freedom to be the unique woman you are created to be in Christ. And you can then pass this legacy on to other generations of women." You can buy it here for $7.99: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product The New York Times Best seller: "Captivating: Unveiling The Mystery of A Woman's Soul" by John and Stasi Eldgredge "The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating."

w/self-delusion

Humble thy self, know thy self, be thy self, love thy self, and love others.

Smoke some pot

Tell yourself you love you every day while looking in the mirror. Whether you believe it or not. Eventually you will begin to believe it, and you will love yourself. Thats where self-esteem begins. <3 good luck! :)

With all due respect, I've always kind of disagreed with the idea that people with low self-confidence should just tell themselves they love themselves. I know that people who suggest that are well meaning, but I think that they don't really understand what it is like to think so poorly of yourself as someone's who's been there. To someone like that, that is just such a foreign and unusual thought that it can never really register, it just seems ridiculous to that person. I've been there, and I'm still there, and I'll likely always be there. Some people will always have insecurities and personality flaws that will follow them through the rest of their life. There's no quick fix here, believe me, I've looked for years and always come home disappointed and empty handed. I think different things work for different people. What tends to work for me is trying to be realistic, and think realistic. Realizing that thinking that everyone hates you and is against you is just as ridiculous as believing that you're hot shit and everybody loves you. Think about your situation, reflect on it, and approach everyday life realistically, don't overreact, don't read too much into things, just try to relax, and you really have to focus on this so you don't end up going back to the negative thoughts, which at first are going to lead you to withdrawal and insecurity, and if they continue to wear on you these feelings will turn to anger, frustration, and bitterness. And it does take a toll on you after a while. But, 90% its a treatment, not a cure, you have to focus, and not surrender to your weakness to go back to the easy road of bitterness and self pity.

Get a makeover

This is something I tried today and it worked wonders. My friend and I were discussing self-confidence yesterday, and we decided that the two of us have about the same amount however, people always tend to react much more positively towards her than me. She told me that I should work on my posture, because it's so important to how people perceive you. Today I worked on that as well as trying to maintain a feeling that I was confident. You wouldn't believe how different my interactions with people were. I joked around with the workers at the restaurant I went to for lunch, and during class I struck up a conversation with a girl I'd never spoken to before. She seemed so pleased to be talking to me. I also started to notice how so many people I passed during the day appeared to be lacking confidence and could not greet me even with polite eye contact. I suggest trying to work on your posture, eye contact, and most especially, a genuine love for the people around you. Most people are more concerned with what you think of them and will base their opinion of you on that. They'll love you for loving them, and if they don't, they're just not at mature as you.

Don't try. That only reinforces your belief that you're "missing something" (otherwise, why would you put in so much effort?) Instead, learn to connect with people. This is very much a skill that's learnable, and as you get better at it, you'll be less likely to get tangled up in all those internal conversations about what other people think of you -- the stuff that turns you into a broomstick-in-the-corner at social opportunities. So what does it mean to "connect" with others? It means to be present. It means to see them as distinct and unique individuals, to get your attention OFF of yourself and ON to them. You can practice this anywhere -- in fact, you don't even need another person's presence (although it surely helps). Whenever you are close to someone, even the cashier at the store, LOOK carefully at them. Notice exactly how they have their hair, what they're wearing, how their nose bends just slightly to the left, what their mood is like, what they're paying attention to... get as many details noticed as you can. Don't DO anything with this information, just notice it. Be aware of it. SEE them in real time -- here and now. This person is absolutely unique in the entire history of mankind, and they have never lived this moment before. It's all completely real, completely here-and-now, and completely unique. That's what's going on in every moment of our lives: a novel moment, a unique situation. All you have to do is be able to maintain that steady awareness, that steady attention to present details. You don't need to think about what you should say, or what they think of you, or how to talk to them. If you are present, the "what to do" takes care of itself. On the other hand, if you aren't paying attention to them as they are, you're most likely tangled up in your head thinking about what they think of you and whether or not you're being confident and why can't you get rid of these concerns and yayayada oh my god it's all so tedious!! So I said you don't even need another person to do this, and that's true. Anything will do to practice being present: notice details on your computer screen, listen to the dog barking... what exactly does it sound like? If you get good at being present, all sorts of things will start to shift in subtle ways. You get out of your head and into your life. And that's all confidence really is: being fully engaged with what's going on.