Whenever I am with a group of people and there's some random discussion, I just go into quiet mode, I am not able to add anything to the conversion and then I start feeling very self conscious. How can I be more fun and talkative?
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ANSWERS: 14
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To be honest.I do the same.I think it's natural-if the conversation doesn't interest you it's hard to add anything.I might add a few polite comments but I can't hold my interest for long.Why don't you try bringing up a few topics of interest yourself.Save you being bored!
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I sometimes find myself in that situation. You could try smoking some marijuana that usually makes me very sociable.
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A lot of people always tell me I am very quiet, and never say much. If you are that way, then that's just your personality! You don't need to be embarassed about the way that you are! But if you want to be more fun without beer/drugs like one of the other answerers stupidly recommended, then maybe you could take lessons from theatre acting instructors who are experts at helping people come out of their shell. It's good that you think things through in your head, because people who just blurt things out can say things that will damage relationships and offend potential friends. "It's better to keep your mouth closed, and have people think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it."
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Read more.
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I do that all the time, I figure that I have nothing important to add, and I hate conversations full of 'fluff', so I don't speak until I 'do' have something good to add, or someone asks me something, etc : D People comment on it a fair bit, say I'm very quite, or I'm a good listener, etc... Meh, that's just who I am ; )
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Have a cocktail or two. I am not advocating getting "snot slinging drunk". Sometimes you just need to relax and a little beer might help.
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My advice would be to do it one person at a time. Begin talking to the person next to you and find out about his/her interests seeing if you have anything in common, then go from there. If you don't know much about the subject that's been talked about in a group, ask about something, there's nothing wrong with that and shows you have interest in participating.
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You may have Asperger's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
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do something wild, unexpected and funny and you will find yourself less intimidated and on top of the world
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I have the same problem frequently. I've studied on it at length. I get shy in the group, if I'm not feeling "on my game", and feel like anything I say is going to sound stupid, or I'll provide my input after the subject has changed. The key is to relax... Challenge the group by asking open ended questions about things they have just remarked about. This is a great replacement for your own comments, because it makes your "guests" feel good, because you have contributed to the conversation in a way that let's them feel funny, smart, etc... A couple of beers, and open ended questions usually open it up for me, and I fit in until later, when the bouncer has to make me get off of the table.
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I am the same way..its very hard for me. the only way i can really loosen up is by having a glass of wine...
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I have the exact same problem, lack of informal social skills. I suspect people live with emotions they don't even notice because they are everpresent. I irrationally feel unpopular & rejected when I'm not and I can't socialize in a group. I have no idea how to solve the problem.
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I think what happens when I'm in that situation is that I like to process what's been said and take time to formulate a response. In those situations, however, speaking as soon as possible is ideal before the subject moves onto something else. That's probably why I prefer written communication such as letters, emails or forums because I can take time to think about what I want to say. I'd like to bet you're already fun but you don't always need to be talkative. Some people just like others to listen to. Just make sure you get some airspace at some point which is easier said than done, I realise.
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I'm in the same situation...but that's just my personality and it can't be helped. A glass of wine is a quick fix, but I think it usually boils down to whether you're a talkative person or not. If this REALLY bothers you, there are conversation and voice diction coaches that may be able to help. Acting classes are a good way to be able to slip into another character when you need to.
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