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by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 12th, 2007
I think it's all about personal choice. I know men that love big women and I know men that won't look at a woman over 150 pounds. Everyone has their own idea of what beauty really is.
by American idle on May 26th, 2007
Because fat is gross. Sorry, but it IS. Admit it, there is nothing beautiful about rolls of saggy, dimpled flesh. There is always a way to lose weight, you have to want to and stop making excuses.
by Arisztid on March 25th, 2008
I usually do not answer questions with pages of answers. However, I am seeing much incorrect information in this thread so I am going to add my voice.
Obesity is not necessarily the byproduct of an unhealthy lifestyle. Yes, I would say that most obesity, especially in America, is the result of lifestyle. America is a huge nation so that "most" leaves a lot of wiggle room.
Obesity can be metabolic, it can be the result of a malfunctioning thyroid (and other illnesses), it can be caused by some long-term life saving medications (prednisone in high doses for one). Cardiac illnesses that cause water weight can cause a person to look obese (CHF is the main culprit). Lymphedema is another though that does not usually affect the whole body. The list goes on.
There are some people who can eat less than a thousand calories a day, exercise, and are STILL obese.
There are people who are too sick to be mobile for whatever reason, be it severe heart or lung problems, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, spinal bifida... the list is endless. Not all with these illnesses are obese but they make moving around extremely difficult.
I just wanted to point out to people that what they perceive is not always the truth. Maybe judging someone by their appearance is not always a good thing.
Another thing about obesity is these days the media is cramming an actually unhealthy body weight down our throats.
I have had Loves who were obese and turned away the "lookers". It is the personality that is the important thing.
by Anonymous on May 26th, 2007
It's more about the personality. Besides, more cushin fer pushin!!
by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on May 26th, 2007
Call me shallow but I see a lot of obesity as being a self-esteem issue, and I find it hard to feel attracted to someone who doesn't think enough of themselves to maintain a healthier lifestyle for their own good. Now I am referring to extreme obesity not just a little extra cushion, as I am equally not attracted to rail-thin waifs that only are to maintain that unrealistically skinny as a "super-model"(yech!)look that society needs to outgrow.
by Joyce Jean-Louis on September 2nd, 2007
i have read all the posts on this topic . I find it very frustrating that alot of people assume obese women are lazy and eat too much . My Mother is obese , it cannot be controlled she has a thyroid disease. She doesnt eat alot and is a very active woman .
by Im Alec has abandoned this account on May 12th, 2007
What men find attractive in women is basically what makes them good mothers for hypothetical children. Symmetry, healthy skin and hair, having enough spare time/money to make up and dress well: all these say that the woman has high mother potential. Obese women will have more problems bearing children, and problems looking after children once born, than a woman who is not obese. It also hints at self-esteem or other psychological problems.
I do not say that these preferences are right, just, or even nice. And remember that our tastes evolved in the time when we were wandering hunter-gatherers. Obesity is uncommon amongst such people, because once you have eaten enough, you usually stop and laze rather than work more to find more food. So, in the days when human tastes were formed, obesity was much less common and much more worrying than it is now.
by Gonzo on May 12th, 2007
Because in this day & age, people who are fat are autmatically associated with being unhealthy. Let's face it, all the top models are skinny; therefore, to be attractive like a top model, you gotta be thin- in the eyes of society that is.
Hundreds of years ago, fat woman were seen as attractive because it suggested that she was wealthy enough to stuff her face everyday.
So, there's a logical answer for you! hehe
by m4dm4nsgirl on March 22nd, 2008
Wow I have to say that some of these answers are very shallow!
by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on September 2nd, 2007
I don't necessary agree with you. I think that the level of attraction has to do with personality. Grossly obese women are sometimes that way because they do not respect themselves and overeat. It's hard to have respect for someone who doesn't respect themselves...
by Sonja911 on May 26th, 2007
I am someone in between...but I have a small waist and bigger hips. I'm just glad someone loved me for the way I am. Not the way the world thinks you should be.
by Anonymous on September 1st, 2007
When an obese woman gets into bed with a thin man,
She bottoms-out the bed and throws the thin man into the air.
It also works the other way around.
by Redhawk on May 12th, 2007
Because we are taught by advertising, movies and such to believe that a fat person is unattractive, lazy, and doesn't care that much about themselves...trust me...fat men are also stereotyped in the same manners.
Not since the painter Ruben have plump women enjoyed as high an acceptance rating.
Are any of these stereotypes true? Of course in some cases they are...but in truth...thin people or thinner people can have the SAME characteristics!
And very thin people suffer with their own nasty titles, comments and put-downs...
I'll admit I would prefer having a bit to hold when I am hugging my sweetie...I don't want to snap her like a twig!
Good HEALTH and a great personality are the prime interests for me...for myself and those I spend time with! Some day we ALL will droop, spread, hang and wrinkle...better to develop a brain, a keen sense of humor and a kindness towards others...THESE qualities LAST (or can) till you're dead!
by beenaroundtheblock on May 12th, 2007
I watched a program about the sexes just last night and apparently men are most attracted to women who have the largest difference between the size of their waist and their hips. I think that many very lsrge women lack a marked, discernable difference between the two.
by Sheepingly needs no handy men only hugs on September 12th, 2007
Because they are heavier than then, there's alot of blubber, and they associate fat=bad hygeine.
by rigby on September 12th, 2007
they dont look healthy, they look like they cant even bathe themselves, unless you are into that sort of thing its hard to find a date if you are obese
by still loves cheerios on September 2nd, 2007
Why do most women find obese men unattractive?
by asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson on September 2nd, 2007
because they are ignorant assholes who just like most women focus on the physical rather than what is in the heart I actually prefer women with some meat on their bones My late sweetheart was almost 100 lbs over what some idiot that made the chart up calls her ideal weight range but I loved her anyway and would have never dreamed of asking her to lose any of the weight because that would be selfish unless of course her health was in immediate danger and even if that was the case I would not push I would let the decision be hers when you truly love someone you accept them exactly as they are flaws and all
by -O-uknow on September 2nd, 2007
.. because they're fat?
by The Account Formerly Known As Peyton on September 2nd, 2007
I just have no idea.
by Littlemisswallflower on September 1st, 2007
Well I'm not a man so I can't say for sure,
(and I may be risking a lot of point right now, but I'm willing to take the risk) but lets be realistic.
For one thing:
Fat people are generally unattractive because it's hard to see them as anything other than eating machine. Where it's true, I know, that they do have interests and things, many don't recognize that. They simply think that they're dealing with a glutton pig.
For another thing:
Most of the time, obese people don't even look human. A woman who might be considered beautiful were she a bit thinner, is considered ugly because her face is swollen with fat and you can't really see all the feminine features beneath it that well. It's sort of gross, all the grotesque limbs and cellulite and whatnot.
In a senses this question is like asking why most people find bugs hideous. Because something about them is obviously (for whatever reason, but thats sort of getting in to philosophy so lets not go there) unappealing to most people. Why EXACTLY do we find them unappealing? Well... no one knows really. We know we think they're disgusting and gross and so on, and can point out the things we find ugly, but we can't give the reason as to why those things are ugly to us. Granted however, there are those few people who for whatever reason (once again, lets not get in to that just now) DO like bugs, and think they are quite appealing, just as it is with obese people.
Who's to say why people like and dislike the things they like and dislike? It's just common human taste I suppose, to put it as simply as I can.
and i apologize for the lack of eloquence in this answer. once again, I'm a bit scatter brained.
by Will on September 1st, 2007
Cuz they are fat!
by benjammin20 on May 26th, 2007
Amen to that...i like a person to like me on the inside...not outside.
by John John on October 24th, 2009
All these answers are b*llshit.
Fat girls are unattractive. They just are. BUT, so are really skinny girls.
by sleepwalk on June 9th, 2008
I could have a short shallow answer but it really is more complicated. Everybody has their own image of what is attractive and has the right to it. I personally have not been attracted to obese women for a few reasons. Again, everybody has the "right" to be attracted to whoever they please and men (or women) shouldn't immediately be considered shallow sexist pigs anymore then it be considered wrong to not be attracted to a person because of height, whether they smoke or drink, what style they dress in, there choices of personal hygeine, or even personality.
Now I do find it wrong to harass and discriminate against people who are obese, but choosing not to date someone can not be considered harassment or discrimination.
Most of us want to be above the shallowness of what we find physically attractive, but essentially this is what seperates love in the sexual or romantic sense to friendship or the kind of love you have for family. I and anyone else with a brain in their head looks for other positive personality traits other than looks, but it is still an essential part of attraction.
The simple answer for me is that I find femine body characteristics attractive, nice hips and although I'm not overly a "breast-man" but the shape and not the size for me is a factor as well. In my case this means that there are some mildly curvy women that I find attractive as well. It's no different than why some women might not find obese men attractive, or short men for that matter. Because of this I don't find exceptionally skinny women attractive either, but in the case of obese women, most of these defining body traits are lost.
Now the psycolgical part of it for me. I was raised to be modest in many ways and admire that in other people. By this I mean that I don't view being overly extravagant in any way as good thing, whether it's being flashy with money and status symbols, or overindulgence in material things, the later overeating would fall other. Not all people are obese because they overeat, but a good percentage do overeat. I see someone who orders much more than me at a restarant for example, as being over extravagant, with little restraint. To me eating is just something you have to do, like breathing. If I was suffocating, I'd really want air, otherwise I don't think of breathing as an intense source of pleasure. The same goes for eating. Being that a long term relationship is a partnership, I see it as a person who deep down thinks they deserve a bigger piece of the pie than others do, so to speak. Food can be an expensive living expense, and in a partnership this can lead to budget issues. although we were never starving, I guess when raised with a sister and other family in the house who also need to eat and only a set amount of food, I see overeating as inconsiderate in this regard. I know this is a generalisation and doesn't apply to everybody, but is a very common experience having lived with and been in a relationship with obese people.
There are people whose personalities overshadow this although. The problem is that even though I can see past all this, the physical aspect of the relationship will be lacking.
I know many other men and women feel the same way. Although it is wrong to harass and discriminate, people don't have to apologize because of who they are attracted to or who they choose to date or marry. I do see the reverse on occasion too though, we're bigger women or men are mean the "skinny bitch" or thinner "faggy" guy usually because people happen to find them attractive. Sometimes there are obese people who don't find other people attractive themselves. It's not always because of what the media says is attractive, I could care less about Hollywood and most of what they portray as attractive I don't find attractive for other reasons. I also don't care much for what is considered the "norm" whatsoever.
Some men and women do find obese people attractive, and there is nothing wrong with that either, they have a right to choose who to date just like I do. The thing is that we should not have to apologize for this any more than they do.
by Nitroduck on March 26th, 2008
I personally think it is a shallow culture thing. Women are attractive, period. Some boys don't really think that obese women are unattractive, but they feel like their buddies will tease them if they get caught looking. They need to "man up".
Now... To clarify... Morbidly obese, slovenly, unkempt, unbathed - rash ridden people are definitely unattractive. Regardless of gender.
I know some obese girls that are pretty enough to make fellas stop and stare.
by Sweet T on March 25th, 2008
We are raised in a society that teaches us to dislike things that are not the "Norm".
by Surgeon General on September 2nd, 2007
Another commenter said something about the waist-to-hip ratio and I second it, and I also add:
I've read somewhere that what is easiest and quickest for the mind to process (smooth skin, free of blemishes, discoloration, or other such "speed bumps") is the most "attractive".
Me, I agree with these theories and disagree at the same time. They do sound very true, but omfg show me a chubby chick with large hips and if she has a bad complexion who cares? I think that shape is freaking gorgeous <3 And sometimes, you can't help your skin, so. Gotta flaunt what you have :3
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on September 2nd, 2007
I am overweight, not yet obese.. or maybe I am.. just under 200 lbs. I stopped going to the gym and I went from 160 to around 190. I just joined another gym and hopefully I will have some strong muscle under my fat.
I still weigh about 45 lbs less than my man so I can't see him kicking me out of bed anytime soon.
There is a subculture of men and women who are very into heavy women... Fat Admirers and Feeders... They eat a lot of decadent food and enjoy a very round female form. I think this is some type of fetish for sexual kicks. As they expression goes "more cushion for pushin'".
by SABOTEUR on September 2nd, 2007
I think it simply comes down to the standard of beauty our culture has taught men is acceptable.
I'm sure that once a man gets to know an obese woman, he'd become more inclined to find her attractive.
by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on September 2nd, 2007
I don't find them unattractive at all. I don't find them sexually appealing because I am gay. But sexual appeal is a small part of someone's character.
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on May 26th, 2007
personal preference i suppose
by Brian I on May 26th, 2007
They don't - they just like women to look like women and not like adolescents or stick insects.
by ChelseaMark on May 26th, 2007
Cos they get stuck in the turnstiles when you take them to football.
by wALKing on waT3r on May 26th, 2007
I guess its how we as society are painted the picture by our everyday experiences and of course, the media (e.g., America's Next Top Model). Sure there are some men who like a "woman with cushion" and some don't (in that aspect its the personal preference). For myself, I don't know why I don't find "bigger" women as attractive as much as a "skinner" woman.
This is a really good question, I hope someone has a more concise answer than myself.
by iwnit on May 12th, 2007
No idea. Perhaps the biggest failure in Newton's gravitation theory. It could be caused by the media, but normally, the media show what people want to see. And I find many obese women attractive.
On the other hand, from the moment where obesity would cause illness or a physical handicap, I would try to do something against it.
I heard that the middle weight of college students is about 50 kg. So there could be a relation with the higher attractivity of young adults.
You can find informationen over obesity here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overweight
by kmknnnnnjn on June 23rd, 2008
It`s all to do with natural instinct believe it or not. If you are a little over weight men will see it as a possitive thing especially when it comes to reproduction but if you are obese it can be seen as a health risk rather then a possitive thing
by philosopher-saint on March 31st, 2008
Madison Avenue.
by Babe5612 on March 25th, 2008
I have read a number of the answers given to this question. I think the answer is a combination of every one... Although I find it hard to believe that a seventeen year old boy, looking at my seventeen year old daughter is somehow trying to calculate what kind of child bearing skill she has by looking at her a$$. I do think from an early age we are "taught" whats pretty, attractive, etc. by who is on TV in the movies and so on. It is few and far between that an overweight person is portrayed in a flattering light in any medium. They are always either the butt of jokes, or there is some crisis surrounding the issue of weight, popularity and so forth. I think that is why (as some of the answers I have read indicate)"fat" people have low selfesteem, seem sullen, or bitchy. Wouldn't you be too, if from the start someone or something was telling you your not good enough!!
by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on March 25th, 2008
Because they are. Most men don't prefer obese women and most women don't prefer obese men. That's just a fact.
by lady fuschia on March 25th, 2008
It's evolution baby...
All of us (male and female) are pre-programmed to find people who look healthy (and therefore more likely to produce and raise healthy offspring) more attractive. Hence we don't as a rule find people outside of a healthy weight range attractive.
by macdjug-Paxvobiscum on March 22nd, 2008
I believe it works both ways. Do woman find obese men attractive?
by RosieGHM Jetpacker on March 22nd, 2008
I think it is simply the style of the times..slender is in. Years ago during Rubens' day voluptuous and zaftig was "in" and there were paintings of these lovely larger women..that was the ideal. Stick around..the pendulum will swing back! :)
by Anonymous on March 22nd, 2008
It sounds like a lot of the people who made comments are the perfect shape. I hope that they are having great successful careers and relationships.
I agree that it is the hip to waist ratio. Many people who are "obese" by todays standards do not have to weight 300 pounds. A 180 pound woman can be considered obese but have fabulous curves, defined waist and great hips. If you look at paintings from the era of the great renisance painters - the women in those paintings would be obese by todays standards - but found to be beautiful at the time.
Marilyn Monroe was around a size 12 - plus size model in todays world.
by rathernotsay on March 4th, 2008
I ended up here because I was looking for answers. My finance' is overweight - obese- fat. she weighs over 200lbs. Her personality is everything you could ask for in a girl. But I have a problem with her weight and I am thinking about calling off the wedding!
At first, her weight didn't bother me, but as time went by, seeing her eating habits and lack of exercising. The huge amounts of clutter in her apartment look like a sign of laziness. She keeps looking more and more unsexy to me. I have lost my appetite to have sex with her.
I have tried to motivate her to workout a number of times but its not working out. She recently started doing the workout videos but i know shes only doing that because of the wedding and will soon quit and get back to her old habits.
To wrap up! I think that i will be unhappy in a marriage like this. I think she will be more of a baggage than a partner. I don't give a f**k anymore and I'd rather be with a skinny bitch (they're more attractive)!
by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on November 17th, 2007
some men and some cultures do not...this seems to be a western thing...I suppose supported a lot by the fashion media who portray 'beauty' as a 13 year old skinny model.
by Runs with scissors on November 17th, 2007
More pushin for the cushion?
by DRLAURAHATER on September 2nd, 2007
The same reason women find obese men unattractive. It is not healthy and they look bad.
by Quackers on September 2nd, 2007
For the same reason women don't find fat men particularly attractive. Personally, I would not date a fat or obese man because I could never find him attractive - at least not physically. I am attracted to healthy, fit, athletic men. I have my preferences and don't apologize for them.
by Twpenningtonjr on September 2nd, 2007
I don't know. I don't.
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Comments
Good answer:)
by gtravels loves her life penguin on May 12th, 2007
Thanks! It has to be true, some men find me attractive and others have told me that I need more meat...LOL, so not all men like the toothpick look.
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 12th, 2007
Im sure theres a grey area between a 'toothpick' and 'meaty' woman and Im sure men like diversity just as much as women do.
Additionally Im sure a man would choose a kind caring 'meaty' women over a bitchy 'toothpick' just as he would choose a kind caring 'toothpick' over a bitchy 'meaty' woman.
by Rula on May 12th, 2007
Of course there is a gray area, I was calling myself the toothpick. LOL
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 12th, 2007
You folks are really talkin my language!
by gtravels loves her life penguin on May 12th, 2007