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by CHAD on May 11th, 2007
Most people are attracted to outgoing personalites. You may be nice, but if you don't socialize and hold interesting conversations, no one will approach you the way you want.
by Jane on May 25th, 2008
thats me. I am really nice but I dont have friends. I'm not sure why. I never really have. I wasn't the girl other girls wanted to hang out with or exchanged numbers with. They always had an excuse to not hang out with me....even today and I'm 25 years old.
I prefer hanging out with family anyway.
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on May 25th, 2008
i just have not been able to find another person besides my husband that i really like. i would rather have no friends that just casual acquaintenances that think they are my friends when in reality they are not.
by swatben on May 13th, 2007
I do have a theory to offer here...
whether you have friends or not depends on if you have made the effort the make friendship happen. I sometimes complain about no one reaching out to me, but i now see that I haven't reached out enough to others either. Don't wait for others. Always be proactive and invite potential friends to do things together..And don't expect much from others, so you don't get disappointed. Just dispense your niceness along the way. I am sure you are not the only one who feels lonely. Don't worry, you have us.
by suzie30 on October 25th, 2008
I am like that .
I have alot of acquaintances but no real friends except my boyfriend. However everyone condsiders me to be very nice.
I have just found in life that most people are not genuine. Most people define friends as someone they can use to boost their social life. They are not genuinely interested in your welfare. Its just the type of modern society we live in. It focuses on the individual. People nowadays don't really have the time to form meaningful friendships. So most people's friendships are superficial. Alot of people that are nice but have no friends , have no friends because they seek meaningful relationships.
I also do have things about my personal life that I don't wish to speak about. Things that when I tell people they are shocked or don't understand and therefore make ignorant hurtful comments. Alot of people go through life assuming that most people they meet have a relatively normal life. Alot of people have very serious problems in their life that are so painful it hurts and makes them introverted. They become introverted because they thing no one will really understand their situation. Also in many social situations alot of so-called friends make hurtful ignorant comments without realising that they might be hurting one of their own friends around them.
True friends in life are just hard to find.
by Mike on May 30th, 2008
People say they like nice people but I think often don't respect them. A lot of times the popular people(especially among the younger crowd)are those who are upbeat, funny and dramatic. Being outgoing doesn't hurt either but like being nice it might get your foot in the door but won't necessarily hold someones interest. It's unfortunate that being nice isn't enough or even sincere. People seem to want to be entertained 24/7 I guess.
by Galeanda on May 14th, 2007
You can be very nice to people.....but you first have to BE a friend to HAVE a friend. Many people forget that and just expect people to come their way. Sometimes the footsteps to friendship have to come from you first. And when they come from both people, then it's usually a really great friendship starting.
by BigDaddyBS on May 30th, 2008
They don't get out much...
Neighbors are all older or more stand-offish...
They don't belong to clubs, frats or sororities...
They don't attend any church in the area...
They commute to work, so don't meet people from town...
by PutBoy on May 14th, 2007
Nice isn't intresting. People don't want nice, they want intresting.
by ciaobellamy on May 11th, 2007
it's kind of sad, but nice people are not appreciated as they should be. often they are taken for granted and their respect level gets lowered. once their level of respect goes down, they're most often over looked.
by Mr. Meaulnes on May 11th, 2007
Perhaps they're shy or introverted, maybe they have self-esteem issues, maybe they're just a little too strange by some people's standards to be socially accepted as the nice people they are, maybe they just aren't the type of person who can easily forge the trust required to allow anyone to close enough to them to be their "Friend".
And believe it or not, some people are naturally more comfortable by themselves.
If, for whatever reasons, someone goes through enough time without having to chance to make friends, they become accustomed to spending their time alone, and eventually neglect or put aside any naturally outgoing personality traits that they may have once had.
And people who aren't outgoing, who aren't inclined to conversation and sociability, those types of people just don't make friends very easily.
by Sexyrabbit on May 25th, 2008
Because i think you need more than just being nice in life..maybe a sense of humour too.
by Biggie15 on May 11th, 2007
Because as the saying goes, nice guys finish last. They are just too nice; many people today love friends who are outgoing and rebellious. Many nice people are shy, and so lack the confidence to do any of those things.
I would say that nice guys deserve friends more than a few people I know
by THE ROOKIE on February 12th, 2009
I was wondering about that also,
I have read all the responses so I do not copy anybodys,
I agreed it is hard to make friends
hard to keep friends.
I have found out that I am not only one without friends which is very comforting.
I has found out that we all have family / friends who used us .
Thank you for asking this question,
I know I am nice and sweethart but it hurts when you think you have friends but they used and ingored you after you have been there for them. It is hard trust anyone after that kind of a realtonship.
The pain of being alone hurts worse than anything else.
.
by Theby on May 30th, 2008
Maybe they prefer it that way. I know that sometimes I can be pretty antisocial. That is not to say that I am horrible to people.....it's just that I prefer my own company, always have.
by Simply99 -- Not a fan favorite. on May 30th, 2008
I have no friends, and am sort of nice, maybe. Really have no desire for that kind of thing, really. Besides, who wants to go to the ball game with the guy who won't drink?
by Nicole_Nikki on February 22nd, 2009
Maybe It's Because Thier too nice... it's good to be nice... But nowadays everyones Really Bitchy... So No-one Cares About Nice People anymore..
by uncle on February 11th, 2009
I think the main reason is because they keep to themselves, however nice a person is, if he does not open up to other people, they will not be able to connect with him and end up in a very awkward situation.
by letmespeak on January 14th, 2009
I've been thinking some more about this question and I wonder if it's because people are wary when someone is nice as if they think that the nice person are hiding something and not showing their true selves. Whereas, say, someone who shows their flaws, perhaps a bit of a hot temper, for instance, then people know what they're getting when they relate to the not-so-nice person. I wonder if that could be it *shrugs* I'm still trying to figure it out.
by Dixie1 on May 14th, 2007
I am one of those people...I try to make friends and It just dont work. I'd love to have a best friend..
by calypso on May 11th, 2007
I feel that the older you are the harder it is to make real friends. If you just don't get out enough or socialize with the people you do see on a daily basis,
its basically impossible to make friends.
by Rhianna B. on July 5th, 2009
sometimes there are shallow people that dont like people for their minor details. like if your not pretty, thin, blonde, ect. thats society for ya, MESSED UP!
by Anonymous on February 8th, 2009
because everyone else is an asshole ;)
by kittykaty on January 18th, 2009
because people don't see the good things in people anymore. The people tease and mock insted of being nice espically for people in middle school.
by Austin26Chick on January 4th, 2009
Maybe the person is overwhellemed by shyness or they don't want to say the wrong thing. Or people just don't take the time to get to know them.
by N.orleans86 on September 25th, 2008
Nothing is wrong with having friends...but the word "friend" has different meanings to everyone. i agree with most of the answers here "nice" isn't good enough any more.People want you to be rebellious and fit into there mold.If you don't follow them then they drop you as a "friend".Why?because they were never real friends to begin with.Always remember that if you have to change yourself in order to please somebody else it's not worth the trouble.Don't believe the hype.Be happy with yourself first.It's better to have no friends at all then to have those that pretend to be your friends but in the end really aren't.
by Anonymous on May 30th, 2008
I guess because most people might want to be friends with someone who is not such a goodie goodie.
by idunno on May 25th, 2008
well hard to say.. maybe shy? not sure but the key to having friends is to be a friend to someone first.. do something nice reach out and talk to someone
by GameTalkerGirl on May 25th, 2008
They may not come out of they're shell much and not talk to anyone
by haggis on May 14th, 2007
nice doesn't mean you try and make friends. people who have friends have them because they try and maintain their friendships. friendships don't just pop out of nowhere and maintain themselves on nothing. they are work but well worth it if you find the right people.
by aardvark on May 14th, 2007
It can often be that the person is suffering from social anxiety (I have suffered from it myself). So obviously they will avoid social situations thus making it harder to find friends. But, let me tell you, it is well worth while trying to get to know them, since they are usually the kindest of people.
by Answer-Bag-2010 on January 31st, 2010
There is hardly an ultimate (and specific) answer to this Question. There are many factors affecting why one doesn't.
It mostly depends on your situation (your context).
For example, during High School - the person to have more "friends" is likely to be overly loud, obnoxious, provocative, and essentially one that complies to activities and behavioural patterns that are "well" received by a large number of peers.
Consequently, this means (so very often, but not always) that the popular guy / girl is one that follows whatever notion and / or practices deemed "cool" / acceptable. The resulting behaviour can manifest in some of the following activities;
- Heavy drinking before legal age.
- Using drugs that everyone else is using (translation... moronic compliance).
- Seeking other compliant morons so that areas of common "interest" will overlap.
- Underage sex.
- General incoherence, irrationality, and vulgarity.
Of course, not every school demands this (but elements of the above are extremely likely, and even more likely in a culturally deficient area).
So, you could be one of the most pure people on Earth, but if you are deemed strange, antisocial, "gay" (not literally - just a stupid expression a lot of people use for disdain these days), or whatever useless word some fool with their minute cerebral cortex can produce in order to try and ostracize you in some social sense, then yes, you won't be appreciated.
Reasons why you are deemed this way;
- Heightened intellect (always an easy factor to intimidate the common idiot).
- Your own set of values and interests (usually angers the compliant moron as your nature contrasts with theirs... which merely fuels the frustration of these common malcontents).
Of course, regardless of this, overall, remember that you are you, and that your difference / unwillingness to comply is what elevates you above the encompassing morons.
You can find other people with a similar degree of intellect, interests, and values over time (remember that, for a vast majority of people will lose themselves as they are socially conditioned to satiate the idiotic masses) and live your own life of truth without pretense.
by Raybaybay on February 18th, 2009
Some people are nice but are not fun and outgoing as others like.Most people think that nice people are to sweet and can never have fun and can be used and taking advantage of.So they can never really have a good time with them.Example..You are going down the road and you see your math teachers house and she is mean.And you want to through eggs at her house.But you remember that a very nice easy going person is with you.And you think they will think bad of you and tell if you through the eggs.Some nice people just have to be mean sometimes so they can be the leader.
by Aminah126 on February 4th, 2009
I'm and outgoing person. But when i do outgoing thing people look at me lik i am crazy.
by Brook258 on October 18th, 2008
Many times I felt like I was being too nice to my friends, and when I was they ended up taking advantage of me. So I stopped doing it, and now don't have them as friends. Which I feel terrible about because I really don't have many friends. But it makes you realize the true people in this world. Sometimes I really think that you have to a bitch in this world to get bye. Which is sad...but it is somewhat true. Girls are especially hard to get along with. Many are dramatic, have to be the center of attention, and jealous. Making it very hard to make lasting friendships. I
by Capt.Lizzie_pirate king_Swann on May 30th, 2008
Sometimes having friends and spending lots of time with them to maintain those friendships isn't a priority. It's hard to bond with someone as a friend really when you have such a busy life otherwise. Maybe when my kids get older I'll have more time, but now I'm lucky to spend time with them, is my thoughts on the subject.
I keep in touch with friends from before I had kids, but we've all been so busy, that life seems to just fly by.
by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on May 30th, 2008
Nice doesn't matter. Being real matters. A nice person who is real has a lot of friends. A nice person who is just nice because they think that's the way to behave will not make a lot of friends because they are not real.
by SABOTEUR on May 30th, 2008
Personally speaking, I prefer being without some of the drama friendships entail.
Occasionally I'll think I'm missing something until I hear some inane incident being described by someone concerning someone else they consider a friend.
I just don't have the patience.
by squarepeg on May 30th, 2008
some people are very nice, but they don't know how to make friends.
by Talimze on May 14th, 2007
That's what I've always wanted to know myself. I used to be nice, and I had no friends. Ever. That's why I'm not nice anymore.
Anyway, I think being nice isn't enough anymore. People need variety...or something like that.
by Babycakes on May 11th, 2007
For me my family is plenty...I choose not to have friends except here on AB that is.
by Joy to the world on February 19th, 2009
I'm a really nice person as well, and loyal.
All though I do have friends, it's just like what CHAD said, you must socialize. I used to be very shy, never went no where.. But then I got out of the house, went to a neighbors house(she had a couple kids close to my age), I began to hang out with them. They took me to some cool places, even helped me learn to drive better.
It was great! You just need to get out there, let yourself be known. Let the ones you want to hang with know you are cool. Be yourself! And Have fun!
by Shirou on February 17th, 2009
Sometimes it's their choice..
Like me..People say i'm nice but i don't wanna make friends because i have this trauma when i was a child..
But of course they're many more factors which would be too long to type
by Anonymous on February 15th, 2009
Just because this is old. Doesn't mean I ain't answering it. I have 2 friends and both are accidental. Meaning I didn't really want them as friends. They just stuck around, but don't really like me either..lol... I have family, but because of a parent. They don't talk to me much anymore either. Mostly I like talking to my husband. Whom likes talking to me. We've been huddled up in eachother for about 4yrs now. We both have no "real" friends, but love hanging out together. He's kinda girly tho:)
by anddeb on February 11th, 2009
I have no friends hardly, but everybody that knows me says I am the nicest person they have ever met. But I am retired and have no need to go anywhere escept to doctors and stores. My husband works 2 full time jobs, so we do not have much time together as it is. People call on me for help, but they know he works two jobs, so they do not invite us over. We live in Alaska and most people go to work and home and take care of survival from the cold and by that time it is time to sleep and get ready to do it all over the next day. I am lonely, that is for sure.
by Chubbychaser84 on February 8th, 2009
Yes some people have such busy lifestyles that they do not have time to get to know people and meet the same people and form a friendship. Often they build a long list of aquaintances but do not have many friends.
by Jaya on February 1st, 2009
I don't understand it either I find that people are so wrapped up in their own lives they don't want to make any new friends, as my cousin told me when I confided in her that I was finding it difficult to make friends she said that she had her own group of friends & none of them are interested in making any more! Of course it wasn't until later that I found out that I was not included in that group so much for family!
I am at a lodd what to do either I have no family members who want to stay in contact, I belong to a spiritual group who is supposed to be caring, outreach, etc but apart from acquaintance-type interactions I have been unable to develop any friendships where I am invited or have anybody come to visit me or even meet up at a park with the childre in spite of several attempts on my part to do so. I have even confided in some people about my problem but apart from a bit of sympathetic nodding of heads I am told they are just too busy or whatever funny though how they are not busy for other people or those already in the 'click'.
On the rare occassion that I have been invited to get together with another mum it never goes any further than my happily accepting & waiting for further plans to eventuate but that's all that happens some even go to the extreme of avoiding me after I accept & try to follow up with definite plans seems to be the equivalent of the superficial & false 'oh we MUST get to gether for coffee sometime'!
Hmm it's a comfort to know that I'm not alone in this but it's sad to see that so many others are also suffering
Jaya
by Jaya on February 1st, 2009
Thank you everyone it's nice to know I'm not alone out there.
Since I became a mum it's been important to me to ty and make friendships with other mums for myself & my children. Six years down the track & I still haven't progressed very far had a lot of rejections - polite of course everyone seems to be always so very busy but I notice the aren't too busy to hang out with others.
I find that people are very clicky & unless you have family members or friends from school usually (which I don't) or know one of these people in the 'exclusive group' then it's impossible to break in. I also notice that people would rather commmunicate with people online that they don't know rather than make friends with real people around them - nothing wrong with online buddies but I find that a lot of people I know would prefer to make friends on facebook than with people around them for some reason is that maybe they can keep their distance?
I've tried being a good friend but my ability to help others out with their kids are limited I have no family support myself & my health is not the best it's enough for me to look after my own children at times let alone offer to help with others who have several supportive people in their lives anyway.
Although it's sad to see that many of you have the same problem it's also a comfort to me that it's not just me. Thank you everyone so much you've made me feel a little better even though I'm still lonely & sad.
Best wishes to everyone,
Jaya x
by Lizzie on October 27th, 2008
Because they are too shy and no one ever takes the time to get to know them. I know from personal experience. In highschool, I was painfully shy, and so I had only a few friendly acquaintances who probably just took pity on me because they saw I was lonely.
After highschool, I didn't have a job for over a year, and then when I finally did get a job, I was still really shy and there was hardly anyone there my own age. I finally made one social contact when I get another job and my boss was forced to be alone in the same room with me for 8 hours at a store that had few customers, and he was forced to get to know me and realize I was cool, he even said it once.
The shyer you are, the harder it is to make conversation, and conversation is the only way to get to know someone.
by Teri on October 18th, 2008
Some don't want the risk of being hurt....
How do I find kid penpals?
by Answerbag Staff on December 20th, 2010
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Tell me why people in their 20s don't join more and more social groups?
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Comments
Well said. I dig your avatar.
by Wickels on May 14th, 2007
thanks ; )
by CHAD on May 14th, 2007
well, there's your answer, add plus.
by volcomsurfer10 on July 21st, 2008
hmmm, i do not like ppl, who only want fun, if the other person is not funny for him, then there's nothing to talk or no reason to hang around, is just wrong.
by digibluez on October 25th, 2008
this is a good answer, but not the best
by soshy29 on January 12th, 2009
real good answer!
by InfoJunkie on January 25th, 2009
That's true sometimes, but not all the time. I know dull people with friends.
by lonelydragon on June 27th, 2009
It is true most of the time, I've lived with it for a while-- on the other hand, the friends you get end up being ones you can stand being around for more than 5 minutes.
by Tyrunea on September 15th, 2009
This is SO true =(. I am a very nice person, but since i have grown up with my dad(im a girl) and he was very strict i have kinda not really developed the person i am. and this person that my dad made me develop was not such a socially successful person. i was still a VERY nice girl and funny and everything, but i only really meshed together with certain people. So i watched movies to see how people there do it and tried to do that too... but all didn't work. there are a lot of small awkward silences in my conversations if you talked to me in real life although i AM a more unshy and bubbly person now. but some of that awkward personality is still in me ='(
by TanyaH on November 14th, 2009
Wow, Tanya, your life sounds almost exactly like mine.
by lonelydragon on November 15th, 2009
really? =O haha ahhh xD. i finally find a person that kinda understands what im going through! =D haha. i've been searching for one of those in such a long time and i always felt alone =P. did you also become a little less shy now? and more talkative? wikihow has a lot of good help in case ya need any =] ;]
by TanyaH on November 16th, 2009
I'm still fairly shy, but I open up with people I know well. And thanks for the wikihow tip. They do have good articles.
by lonelydragon on November 22nd, 2009
That with wikihow is true haha xP. I'm on there for almost everyday for most of the day for self improvement haha xP. It's really great =D.
Exactly the same with me!! =O xD lol people that know me well can't shut me up too easily lol =P and of course if I feel close to them xP
by TanyaH on November 23rd, 2009
Sadly, what a large number of people deem "interesting" for conversation generally involves shallow and artificial "gossip".
Too many people don't talk about what actually matters, and I have no time for that.
by Answer-Bag-2010 on January 31st, 2010
I truly believe some people just give off different vibes and have different looks about them. I have analyzed this my whole life (why do people like some more than others). I have never come up with the perfect answer but I can say this: If you are a shy or stand-offish kind of person, that will limit the friends you will have. It doesn't make you completely unlikable but people don't know how to react or what to say to someone that's not too open about their thoughts. It's just the way it goes, plain and simple, if your more outgoing and confident, you will attract more people. Always be comfortable with who you are. Just because you don't make a lot of friends does NOT mean your worthless. Family is the most important thing anyways! There's always groups you can join or church or classes. It's up to you if you want to make friends if it's that important to you.
by tvb083 on July 20th, 2010
I truly believe some people just give off different vibes and have different looks about them. I have analyzed this my whole life (why do people like some more than others). I have never come up with the perfect answer but I can say this: If you are a shy or stand-offish kind of person, that will limit the friends you will have. It doesn't make you completely unlikable but people don't know how to react or what to say to someone that's not too open about their thoughts. It's just the way it goes, plain and simple, if your more outgoing and confident, you will attract more people. Always be comfortable with who you are. Just because you don't make a lot of friends does NOT mean your worthless. Family is the most important thing anyways! There's always groups you can join or church or classes. It's up to you if you want to make friends if it's that important to you.
by tvb083 on July 20th, 2010
I'm a nice guy and I have found myself alone all my life. I even noticed for years that no one pays attention to anything I say. Its as if I don't even exist. I have went out to eat and not even be noticed to be waitted on. That really gets to me, not even noticed in a public business. I notice the only time I have friends is when they want something.
by Christie_P on January 30th, 2011
exactly like me, no one even listens what i have to say, even if they ask something, they just continue their conversation, as asking me was not a question at all. I feel sick of this world and the people, really tired.
by digibluez on March 14th, 2011
Christie, the same thing happens to me. Online, it is much easier to create a presence. IRL, people don't pay much attention to what I say. In groups of friends or family, I will suggest an idea, and everyone shoots it down. But if another person brings it up later, even using the exact same words that I did, everyone champions it enthusiastically. In school and at home, I was always taught that quiet people are more respected than blabbermouths, but in reality, the opposite holds true. Over time, I have just learned to try to be happy with my own company.
However, I would like to add that being ignored at restaurants may not be a personal thing. Perhaps the cashiers are busy or stressed out and just happen not to notice you. In hectic environments like a shopping center or business, it's often the loud people who get the attention, and the people who quietly browse are ignored because they're not causing any trouble.
BTW, this is one of the most thoughtful comment strings I've ever been part of.
by lonelydragon on March 15th, 2011
I think most people have had some lonely times. Maybe you should take a class in adult ed or a seminar at the local library, a book club! Something you are interested in. Volleyball? Eventually you will meet someone you like or you may simply enjoy yourself and give yourself some self esteem as well.
Good Luck!
by Kate_C7336 on April 22nd, 2011