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Recently, I have found myself in a very difficult situation in my personal life. I have made mistakes, and was in a pretty low spot. A friend of mine stepped up to the plate to help me out, no questions asked. We started to grow very close, but now after a brief time, he has withdrawn from me and has become cold and combative. What used to be okay behavior on my behalf is now irritating and wrong to him. He would drive 45 minutes in a blizzard to spend five hours doing nothing but talking, yet now finds any excuse to avoid seeing me. When I attempt to text or call, he immediately assumes that I just need something and even if I do, comes up with a reason why he can't help out and then get's nasty with me if I even appear slightly upset. He says that I make him feel bad when he can't help me, that I am the one that has become confrontational, and turns every argument around to make it my fault. He has even stated that he is purposely avoiding me because of this. I don't understand what has happened. How can you hold someone all night long and comfort them one minute, and the next treat them as if they mean nothing at all to you? I thought we were developing feelings for one another, and I still feel a very deep attraction to him, and he seemed to feel the same, but now it's as if I am just a chapter in his life he'd love nothing more than to close entirely. I miss my friend. When I'm not with him, or he's "mad" at me or we haven't talked or texted for even a day, I feel completely alone. Bottom line: Why will a man tell a woman he is always there for her, and then all of a sudden not want to be there for her?
by srosa on March 11th, 2010
I think he felt you were using him, or that he wanted something more and felt he was in the friend zone. From what you've said the guy went above and beyond, and obviously felt he wasn't getting anything (or enough) out of the effort. This has bred the resentment you're seeing now.
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You're reading He used to be there for me in a second, but now it seems like I have to wait a week to hear from him. Why has he abandoned me?
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Comments
See that's the funny thing here. He acted in the beginning like he was interested, and believe me I made every signal known that I was as well! All of a sudden he's stressed, and says he shuts down when he gets that way and to give him time etc...also, he is continuously saying things like "you act like you want more than just friends" but never actually states what he wants (and he says it very accusatory)...we stopped talking, now all of a sudden he calls me today and we talked for 45 min, yet he is acting like what happened between us didn't happen at all, and every inuendo he made he followed with I'm just joking. Honestly, I feel like I was being used at this point!!!
by A goober on March 28th, 2010