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Healthy communication within the family is an essential part of overall family health. Dysfunctional communication within families creates problems, including excessive conflict and poor emotional bonding. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), poor family communication is a risk factor for alcohol and drug abuse in children. However, effective communication is a key element in building the kind of strong bonds that can protect youth from making unhealthy choices. Interrupting others says, "I am not listening to you and what I have to say is more important." It is vital that all members feel heard and that what they have to say is of value. Watching television, listening to the radio, or surfing on the Internet while having a family discussion is distracting. It is important to give full attention to the person speaking. Simply placing blame or preaching to solve a problem will only succeed in making a child feel bad or ashamed. Such feelings can only create barriers instead of productive dialogue. Labeling or belittling a family member can cause emotional harm in addition to creating a barrier to communication. Statements like, "What do you know? Your just a kid" and "you're a disappointment to me" are examples. Such labels can affect self-esteem and self-confidence. In dysfunctional families, members often receive mixed messages. A parent might say to a child, "I love you," but his behavior may show the opposite, like rarely spending time at home. Mixed messages can cause confusion and mistrust. You can improve family communication by doing the following: SAMHSA: Communication Barriers and How to Overcome Them Virginia Cooperative Extension: Families First-Keys to Successful Family FunctioningInterrupting
Not paying full attention
Blaming or preaching
Labeling and belittling
Mixed messages
Tips for healthy family communication
1) Spend time together. Having a family meal and turning off the TV and computer can create more opportunities to talk.
2) Use clear and direct communication.
3) Use active listening. This is a non-judgmental form of listening in which the person listening acknowledges the person talking by summarizing what he or she says. This encourages giving undivided attention while listening and reduces misunderstandings.Source:
by HoneyBee on March 14th, 2011
Who hasn't experienced some form of a dysfunctional family communication pattern?
To me this is pretty much common knowledge.
The majority of American families operate with some level of dysfunction.
I try to put the 'fun' in my dysfunction.
by Mephistopheles on December 23rd, 2010
Why don't you watch the Jerry Springer Show? I'm sure they're all in there, in alphabetical order.
by Possum on December 23rd, 2010
1)Relying on or working for Answerbag.
2)Pretending that a former brochure writer is a "professional researcher"
by itchylixx on June 9th, 2011
really??? u really need this one spelled out?? Just look around at the human family at large- whats not dysfunctional
by lederman on May 6th, 2011
when you grow up in a family that dont hug and theyre not being physically affectionate and later you never learn to relate to guys and never marry or have kids, thats dysfunctional
by Glenn_J8065 on April 11th, 2011
For one thing, family members don't communicate their needs directly to each other, they route their thoughts through a third party (e.g., Husband wants to tell his wife something and routes it through the son: "I hope your mom knows what a mess she made'), sometimes known as triangulation. Another instance is where a boy wants to get back at his sister by tattling to mom or dad about something that may or may not be true or accurate. Sometimes parents get tired of their kids agruing and will step in and settle the spat without letting their kids learn to problem solve. The kids don't really learn how to get along because the parents will always step in to cut it off. This is quite a specialized area in psychology and counseling, which could fill a large hard drive.
by qed on February 7th, 2011
I invite you to dinner with my family. You'll list a million attributes of dysfunctional family communication. You'll ace a clinical psychology course too.
by AB is an asylum run by the inmates, ciao! on December 23rd, 2010
Here is an example:
by XxTapionxX on March 4th, 2010
i feel that posting something off google is sad. from experience, what causes family problems ? a higher figure not knowing how to pull back on their feet. while the child grows up. part of his life goes on feeling fear. it should all link up to respect.
by Millenium - The Mysterious M. . . GONE! on February 26th, 2010
Yelling, screaming, and finger-pointing followed by slamming doors, tantrums, and, sometimes, uncontrollable CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Tate on October 24th, 2011
YELLING!!!!!
by MORE GOOD on October 21st, 2011
SIMPLE:
a lack of GOD
by Jezebelle on October 21st, 2011
Lack of Discipline & Loss of authority.....
by pouncey on October 21st, 2011
How should I know? My family is broken and my mom abandoned me at 13.
by sweetielowe on October 20th, 2011
Shouting rather than listening. Talking over the top of the other person rather than talking then listening to the response (even if its not what you want to hear).
Acting like mature adults rather than rival children.
Basically children look at how their parents communicate and will go onto emulate it during their own adulthood.
I come from a 'shouting' family and it took me years during my teenage years and early relationships to figure out it wasn't the way to do things. Thank goodness my husband was patient enough to show me how adults are supposed to behave.
by Shellie_J on September 14th, 2011
questions that are typed like that
by einsteinwasright0116 on March 26th, 2011
Say that again?
/
by mikepipe on January 10th, 2011
Fathers.
by vellocent on December 14th, 2010
The chosen answer is great!
(the following is my excuse to vent about my childhood, I know little about this topic)
Emotional outbursts, which lead to the child not being able to listen to anyone.
Ignoring your child or sitting them in front of the tv.
Breaking promises.
Apologizing for your emotional outbursts, then continuing them.
emotional abuse.
Forgetting important dates.
Being there, but not being present.
Spoiling your child and not teaching them independence.
Saying I love you sometimes, but not others. (inconsistent attachment patterns).
running hot and cold.
...
by CaRbOnPrOdUcK is Baccuss on January 2nd, 2012
Fark off.
by TallJasperMan on January 25th, 2012
When the family communicates displeasure to each other with baseball bats... without a ball.
by Rollie on January 20th, 2012
Poor, non-existant, flawed, misinterpreted.
by Groovy on February 5th, 2012
Excessive texting.
by einsteinwasright0116 on June 11th, 2011
I never saw Unhappily Ever After much. Is that what you mean?
--
by Anonymous on February 7th, 2011
a crazy sister who alternates between preaching and blaming all the women in the household for her issues while uplifting the men as demigods, a gaggle of out of control kids who refer to you by curse words you didn't know until you were an adult, parents who sleep in the same bed but refuse to acknowledge one another as spouses in public or in the workplace, a few other things that i'm too tired to recite right now....
by Kittyknowsbest on January 7th, 2011
I will check with mine. We're really good at it! =)
by JPsgirl on March 17th, 2011
Flying dishes are a good indication. Or the stony silence of the sulking siblings.
by Endor Frobe on December 13th, 2010
Green fingers and a marked inability to empathise with high-functioning robots.
by DarkMaskDiva/KBHCI on December 12th, 2010
I'd have to say an overall lack of consideration for others and bad priorities?
by kento37 on June 12th, 2011
Evaluation, invalidation, angry at others, fighting, always stopping others within the family from doing something they don't want. Not caring, not helping, not educating, and most of all not communicating. Dysfunctional families don't communicate, they do the things above. Their one big factor is STOPPING! Therefore everyone in the family wants to disconnect, but can't for some reason to them. The worst off are the children, they take this with them as they get older. The shame of it is when they have their own families it gets worse.
What are the attributes of dysfunctional family communication patterns?
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Comments
Nice thing Rachel posted a thing as significant as this. May I just add one thing to the tips for healthy family communication: include LOVE in things that we do.
My wife and I have been having ill conversations lately about who earns more than who and who lacks time for who back in our place in Los Angeles and it's just getting worse by day because no one seems to yield. Impulsively, I got the service of divorce mediators Los Angeles offers. But just about the time that divorce mediators would give me Los Angeles divorce forms I realized that wait, I'll be having three children in confusion and disturbance and my marriage life broken, and I don't like that to happen, so I revoked my service for divorcement. I talked to my wife and we've settled things. We became true to ourselves no matter how hurtful are truthful words. Criticisms are beneficial when said constructively. I'm looking forward to having the rest of my life living with my wife and children I so love dearly. As the head of the family, I better be good at communicating.
May I end my final analysis with these words: TRUTH WITHOUT LOVE IS BRUTALITY BUT LOVE WITHOUT TRUTH IS HYPOCRISY.
by Robert3 on April 14th, 2010
i can shorten and make simple that long complex message you got there.
answer = Lack of GOD
by MORE GOOD on October 21st, 2011