ANSWERS: 26
  • When I'm in a relationship, I call my girlfriend at least once a day, usually at night to see how her day went, if she doesn't call me first. Most of the time I rely on AOL Instant Messenger, since its so convenient, but if she doesn't use AIM too often I'll definitely call at least once a day. When I'm getting out of class or work and I feel like giving my girlfriend a call, then I will. The point is that if your boyfriend calls at least once a day, then its fine. Its pretty much customary for a guy to call his girlfriend once a day, or a girl to call her boyfriend once a day. Its all up to who calls who first, and it changes from person to person. You might think its normal for someone to call twice a day, or you might find someone who calls you 3 or 4 times a day, or not at all. Basically, it all comes down to what type of guy your boyfriend is. If he never calls, then there's a problem, but don't always leave it up to the boyfriend to call you...you should call him too.
  • Please don't think there is any one single answer. Being a married man who has been down the road more than once, no two relationships are the same. Some men like to talk on the phone, some guys don't, I fall into the latter. If there was nothing significant to talk about, I wouldn't like to spend time on the phone, but I know some guys who talk for hours, never really saying anything. So please don't judge a man simply by how often he calls you, there are many more serious issues that should be considered.
  • As a girl I expect a call in a releationship every day if its a serious one. if they didnt call once a day I would be well p*&^% of and probably not call him, etc, etc. If he can't be bothered to call why should you bother with him, coz he cant care about you else he would ring and ask if your ok every day. Dash him off girl.
  • At least every other day. Unless there are extenuating circumstances such as the call is long distance thus making frequent calls very expensive. Or your boyfriend travels with his job and cannot always get to a phone. How often also depends on how often he sees you in person or keeps in touch by means other than the phone (e-mail, IMs, etc.).
  • This depends on a lot of factors. Case in point: my boyfriend and I attended the same college. That meant that we saw each other in person almost every day, and we usually talked on the phone every day, either to make plans to see each other or to make up for not having been able to see each other. Calling on-campus numbers was free. I studied in Europe for a semester. Calling France from the USA every day would have been ridiculously expensive, plus there's that six-hour time difference. So he found a few cheap phone cards and we talked once a week, or once every two weeks. This year I'm in France and he's in the Middle East. Plus he doesn't have regular access to a telephone. So there's no calling, just an occasional e-mail and trying to be good letter-writers. You have to adapt to the circumstances. Our weekly phone conversations during my semester abroad were more enjoyable because they were less frequent, we never ran out of things to say, and each call just seemed more valuable. We spent lots of time looking forward to them. That's not to say that I'm not glad to have the daily phone calls when we're closer together, but each arrangement has its virtues. The question "how often should a boyfriend call you?" just struck me as odd, after I typed my answer above: Why should the boyfriend always call? Why doesn't the girlfriend call instead of waiting to be called? Well, it's not New Years Day yet, so I guess I'll call it my September 14 Resolution. . . .
  • Once a day is good, in my opinion three or four times is okay and more than that can seem controlling or possesive.
  • I advise keeping an open mind. For example, I once had a torrid affair in spite of our sporadic communication. I would leave her a message and wait days or weeks to hear back. I was self-secure enough to go on with my life. Then, out of the blue, she would call and we would have the most amazing conversation, picking up where we left off. She was a free sprit, not bound by schedules or expectations about the frequency of returned calls. If your boyfriend doesn't call, just go on. When he does call, you may be really happy to hear from him. That has to be better than fretting over a schedule, or settling into a boring routine of nightly calls.
  • As often as he has something interesting to say to you. If its a serious relationship once a day is about right, although that's not to say you should be going crazy just cos he misses his call one night- understand that sometimes a guy is just TIRED!! Ideally you should be alternating calls more or less- he calls you one night, you call him the next- though there's really no need to keep tabs on it that strictly. Any more than once a day, unless he actually has something important to tell you is a bit over the top- I once went out with a guy who drove me mad calling me three or four times a day just to say "I love you" and nothing else (drip!) - it stopped me from getting on with my work and interrupted when I was trying to spend time with my friends. If he's dropped his calls down to once a fortnight or less - maybe you should re-consider whether he's actually that interested in you. The bottom line is that whether you're the man or the woman in a relationship, you should call when you have something to say, not just because of some dumb rule about what you're supposed to do, or because your drippy other half can't deal with not talking to you for five minutes. And respect your partner's personal space- they have a life apart from you, you know... edit: I fail to see how this can be a "wrong" answer, seeing as its the kind of question that doesn't really have a right one.
  • Well.. my boyfriend and I, we live 20 minutes away from eachother and he calls me like 5 times a day, you know. He calls me in the morning to hear my voice, a little later to talk, a little later to hear my voice and at night to talk alot! lol
  • The son of a ....never calls..oh wait..I dont have a boyfriend..maybe thats why he never calls..LOL :)
  • guess twice a day is enough.guess if he calls me every now and then i think i would get irritated and ask for a way out on Answerbag.
  • I agree with calling when you have something to say...and no more than once a day (mayyybe two) is necessary. In the beginning of a relationship, its nice to have that daily phone call; there's so much to learn and share with eachother. But, as the relationship grows and matures, its not the end of the world if the daily phonecalls turn into every other day, a couple times a week, or even once a week. Why have a conversation just for the sake of having one? So you know your man isn't screwing around because he's on the phone with you? Sorry to say but I think he can find a way around that if he's really determined enough. Talking to your significant other 24/7 can make conversation stale, and maybe even cause you to take eachother for grnted, Just be secure enough in your relationship to know that your man has his life and you have yours. When he has something he wants to share with you, or something important, he. will. call. And the phone does work both ways. Its much nicer to have a conversation worth having, than trying to force it by pulling worthless information out of your ass when he's not listening anyway! I know its tough love but if you stop obsessing about the frequency of calls and just let it flow, not only will you have much better conversation, but you'll value those calls much more because you know your significant other is calling because they have something they want to share and they're not calling ust because they have to or you will get pissed off. And if your friends get antagonize you because he/she's not calling you everyday, just tell them that you both trust, respect, and care about one another to know that a phonecall doesn't need to be daily or even frequent, just important. And tell them to shove it!
  • I wanted to know if this was normal behavior... My boyfriends mom is coming into town for thanksgiving and he told me he would be unavailable for two weeks. He told me we couldn't hang out, call or text during her visit. After about 8 days of this, I got upset and call him. We talked for about two minutes, he was mad I called and had to get off the phone of course. My boyfriend's normal routine is to text message me once or twice a week or give me a call which is very rare. He tells me he cant hang out that often because he works 10 hour days and goes to the gym 5-6 times a week. He also told me one of his days off a week he needs for himself to clean, do laundry, go to the grocery store and catch up on some sleep. I go out of my way to check up on him without his knowlege to see if he is being honest with me. I drive to his work to see if his car is there and it is always there. I go to the gym, peak in and everytime he is there working out. What should I do?? He constantly tells me there is no one else and that he cares for me but then he gets mad at me for not trusting him if I bring up concerns and feelings about our weird relationship. Do you all think I am getting the run around? Is This Guy Taking Things Slow Or Is He A Player? Should I go with my guy feeling and drop this looser??
  • Breakfast, lunch then dinner ;)
  • I've been going out with my boyfriend for seven months. We live about forty minutes away from each other. We are both busy with grad school and work and see each other on the weekends. He doesn't call me very often. Maybe once a week, and one week he didn't call me until our usual Saturday date. I call him about once or twice a week, but I'd prefer to communicate with him more often. I like talking to him, but he doesn't seem motivated to call me very often, I'm not sure if he just doesn't make calls unless he has something to say. I'm the opposite, I like to talk to keep connected. I wish he'd call me more, and be more spontaneous...
  • If you are "with" someone as in boyfriend and girlfriend then the guy should call you everyday. In all honesty i think he should call you at least twice a day. When i wake up in the morning i call my boyfriend everymorning at 7:00 a.m. right before class and then he calls me at night. If i don't get his phone call then i think something is up. If a guy is too busy to talk to his girl then he doesn't deserve a girl. Part of being with someone is communicating with them, and if you lack communication then your not standing on very firm ground. the point is. . .he should call you everyday. end of story.
  • Daily. (In my book.) I've been seeing a man for four years, and this is a man who's made it very clear he doesn't want to "commit," (i.e., move in together, whatever), doesn't want to spend the night at my house (because he's a light sleeper, and I toss and turn), and in fact, who refers to me as "friend." He has depression. He feels a bit lost ... in terms of his life not having unfolded the way he would have imagined. I think? I think he should get quiet, think careful, meditate, draw, make notes, something -- just "listen" for the answers within, and start crafting a change. That, and find a good therapist. The other day he invited me over for (duh, guess what). He literally asked me, somewhat whimpering, "can I come inside you?" And we had some level of rather one-sided sex. I didn't mind really. I'm happy to give any level of comfort, but I haven't heard from him since, and that was Thursday. There was no call Thursday night to make sure I made it home safely through rain storm). No call all day Friday. No call yesterday (despite running into family and telling them he'd be "over" for family get-together the next evening. Yup, no call on Saturday. No appearance at family party (which I didn't expect, he's so socially awkward). But the whole matter is a bit unsettling. I've read, "He's just not that into you," and guess I should read it again. It's now Sunday, and there have been no calls or emails. I feel untreasured, unloved, unrespected, not cared for at all. I am NOT going to call him, and if/when he calls, I am not planning on being available. I'm a former model (i.e., attractive), loving, giving, spiritual, etc. I own my own home. I'm giving and generous (opps, I said that already), but THIS kind of treatment has got to end (and I guess the ball is in my court.) Re. the comment, "it means you're fat and ugly and you need to go to Weight Watchers ...." It's true, after surgery for kidney cancer, my incision ripped open and herniated, and I had an even worse surgery which followed which left me with a huge bulge on my left side. My waistline has disappeared. I was off work for a year, in which I used all kinds of therapy and comp med remedies. I had to learn how to walk again ... how to get up, sit down, etc. I definitely feel deformed and unattractive, and apparently, dissection of ambdominal muscles has left a weak core such that The Bulge will never disappear. I feel damaged AND rejected. He may be in some level of emotional dysfunction and unable to pick up the phone and emote, but inviting a woman over for sex, and then ignoring her ... that's not acceptable. (And it's dumb of me to let this be so.) Ugh. Comments anyone?
  • WELL HE SHOULD CALL YOU EVERYDAY AT LEAST TWICE A DAY AND WHEN EVER HE FEELS LIKE HE WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE. FOR SOME REASON TX IS NOT THE SAME OF CALLING YOUR LOVE ONE BUT IS BETTER THAN NOTHING!!! MY BOYFRIEND CALLS ME THREE TIMES A DAY AND TX WIHT ME THROUGH OUT THE DAY BUT IN MY PAST RELATIONSHIP WE WOULD TALK TO EACHOTHER LIKE 10 TIMES A DAY NO KIDDING I THOUGH IT WAS VERY CUTE AND I RELATIONSHIP LASTED 3 YRS AND YES FOR 3 YRS WE WOULD CALL EACH OTHER 10 TIMES A DAY
  • I don't find it possesive or strange to interact throughout the day. I am in my 30s and my b/f is in his 40s. From the time we had our first date, we were frequently text messaging throughout the day, and spoke on the phone once or twice per day. I feel that facilitated a closer relationship. When I was in my 20s, I recall a couple of boyfriends who would call me anywhere from one to three times a week, and now that I think about it, it felt more like a 'benefit friend' relationship with a twist of romantic interest. Then again, when you are 20 yrs old, your connection style will be different than it is when you are older and more mature. When it is a serious, committed relationship, I find it a bit odd to go for days and days without talking or interacting. In past relationships, I secretly wished or longed for a more frequent phonecall. I do see my man everyday, and the truth is I am very happy being with him every day. Niether of us are perfect, but I feel he is the best person for me and I am the best eprson for him. We know how to drive each other nuts, but we're also both mindful of not overdoing things that would make the other feel horrible. I don't see my friends and family everyday, but the truth is, I did not necessarily spend time with them more frequntly before my boyfriend came along. I adore his presence, and it feels great to be with him often. I know every couple is different, and always curious about others' scenarios.
  • no more than 3 times a day.. if u text or IM, then maybe once a day is fine. but definitely **something** every day.
  • twice a day is good, morning and evening.
  • Honestly, as a woman myself, and being in an exclusive relationship, AND continents apart... it definitely depends on his or your circumstances. My boyfriend used to call me everyday when he was done with his exams- before that, I used to worry if he was still alive due to his exam studies! And now that he's overseas, it can range from twice a day to twice a month. The best thing is that when he calls me after sometime, we have so much to say, and trust me; it's worth 7 calls a week! That way we don't get bored of each other and builds that longing feeling... and when you finally meet it doesn't feel like you saw each other the other day lol!
  • okay, we have a perfect relationship we went from best friends to going out. but we never talk over the phone. and he only texts me if i text first. WTH? i don't wanta seem clingy so i stopped texting too.
  • As often as you call him I guess. We fall in these ruts, where we always call the other person and so all they have to do is sit around waiting for our call. Then one day we realise we've been doing all the calling, and really its our own fault he never calls. So, if hes not calling because you're calling all the time, stop calling!
  • not too often, but enough to show that he cares. some people don't like when others are too clingy. that should be talked about by the couple so they can reach an agreement that works for them.
  • Never, my husband would be pissed. :(

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