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by geminigurl629 on April 4th, 2007

geminigurl629

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My boyfriend is white and I am black. We have been going out for 5 months now. We have grown to be very close. but the only problem is that my parents don't like him. I really care about him, and I don't want to lose him. What should i do?

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Answers. 18 helpful answers below.

  • by irishamerican on May 13th, 2007

    irishamerican

    My wife is black and I am white. She is my angel and I would die for her. We have an excellent marriage and we love each other with every ounce of our being. We can hold each other for hours listening to our hearts beat in unison and feel so content with the world that nothing else matters. We look forward to growing old together. Do you really want to risk missing out on possibly sharing this type of experience if you two are meant to be together? Unless your family dislikes him because he treats you badly or hurts you physically or emotionally, then their view carries no merit based on color alone, which if that is the case the simple fact remains that your family will never be able to fill the void that only true love can offer.

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  • by asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson on September 27th, 2007

    asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson

    If you are either under age or still at home and not in a position to be able to go out on your own there is probably not much you are going to be able to do about the situation. On the other hand if you are over 18 and on your own or in a position where you could be on your own then why should it matter to you how your folks feel. My former fiancee was Puerto rican and I am white. Her dad hated me for 2 reasons one was because I am Mormon and he belonged to a church that doesn't view Mormons as christians. The second reasson he hated me was because I was almost 15 years older than her and he had me pegged as a dirty old man that just wanted to get into her pants. (she was 28 and I was nearly 43 at the time) we decided we were not going to let what he thought of me affect our relationship. She passed away a little over a month later and I never really got to prove myself to him.

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  • by Nikka Yuko on September 27th, 2007

    Nikka Yuko

    Parents can be kind of hardheaded sometimes. My parents don't like my bf because he's puerto rican and I'm japanese. In fact, they don't like anyone who is not asian.

    My advice is that if you truly want to persue a relationship and you love him, or could grow to love him, stay with him. Parents will be parents. Try and show them that he is not just another stereotype and that he truly loves you.

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  • by Seafaring Pirate on September 27th, 2007

    Seafaring Pirate

    Talk to your parents about why they don't like him. Try stating your reasons why you do care about him (i.e He makes you happy, etc) I'm sure after your talk they might feel better about your boyfriend. If not, then do what you think is right, if you like him, then continue to see him.

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  • by Anne Frank on April 4th, 2007

    Anne Frank

    Okay Honey First of all it Really shouldnt matter at all your parents are going to Agree with your feelings no matter what decision you make they are not dating him you are so it shouldnt matter about the there feelings yes respect them but dont let them get in the way of what you feel.
    If you Like this guy a lot you need to sit down with your parents and discuss Further along but No never Disclude your family from you personal life maybe a little but The truth is you do need support from them,
    Lets say one day your with this guy and something was to happen between yall and you decide to sit and have a talk with your parents after words your going to have two sides against you Them and HIM. You need to be fair to him and Your family and if your family still dosent agree its best just to keep it to yourself and him and you cant say you didnt Try.
    Just remember Make it FAIR.

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  • by Mushen on April 4th, 2007

    Mushen

    Well they haven't liked him for the past 5 months and that hasn't stoppped you so far.

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  • by Nice Guy In Bay Area on July 8th, 2009

    Nice Guy In Bay Area

    I am white and my wife is black. Tell mommy and daddy that the Bible says that for "this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24, NIV)." So, they can grow up or live without seeing the grandkids.

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  • by Shaz4726 on January 28th, 2008

    Shaz4726

    i am in a similar boat, although am asian and ma bf is black, my parents dont accept people from different ethnic group :(.. Gurl the only thin i can say is follow ur heart, coz ur parents are not going to be the one in the relationship its you and him...


    good luck by the way and hope everythin works out for you!!

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  • by roiboysatx on August 10th, 2009

    roiboysatx

    thats hard. if you really love him then go for it. but if your parents never accept the relationship, then you have to be willing to lose your parents.

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  • by love to laugh on January 28th, 2008

    love to laugh

    i am black and i really like this white guy. we have been talking but we are not official. i told my mom that i like him a lot and she said it does not matter who i date as long as i'm happy. i think that your family should not care who you date as long as the other perdon is not hurting you. they should just want you to be happy.

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  • by Anonymous on April 4th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Tell your parents to watch the movie with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher "Guess Who." lol

    I honestly don't know, parents can always be an issue, I suppose they just want what is best for you, but at the same time it's mainly your choice.

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  • by Swagneverduplicated on September 28th, 2011

    Swagneverduplicated

    I'm having that same problem wit my boyfriend and his parents. He is really attracted to me and we really like each other. My parents are super ok with it. His mother is cool with it as well but three problem is his dad. Hours dad is very racist and makes it clear to him. I told him I don't want to meet his dad but I'm more then willing to meet his mother. Thats how we solved our issues. I'm just glad that hiss parents are divorced and I have the choice to to meet one our the other. It will get better honey I promise. Just lover him and cherish him because at the end of the day the parents aren't the ones who is dating him YOU are! Good luck on your journey of life and love.

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  • by PrettyGirlNay on June 18th, 2011

    PrettyGirlNay

    im black and my boyfriend is white and we've only been going out for 3 months and i love him so much i dont see color and all that other bs we love each other and thats that recently he came over my house and we got drunk he was having a conversation with my mom and lets just say it didnt go well...the next morning my mom came to me and said she didnt like him lol guess what idgaf she dont have to date him i do yeah your parents opinion counts but everyone isent going to see eye to eye on everything know that so dont stress over it hunnie they'll get over it trust me parents are not here to like anyone but you :)

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  • by unknown on April 4th, 2007

    unknown

    Well you have to decide if you like him enough to alienate your family over him? If they never come around will you be able to get along with out them? It's very hard to be in a relationship without your family's support. Make sure that he is what you really want and that he is worth losing your family over before you make that decision. Hopefully if he treats you well and you are happy they will come around. I hope that they do. good luck.

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  • by Oddjob on May 26th, 2007

    Oddjob

    I talked to my girl friend (Shes black, I'm white) about this because I did not know what my family would think. I just told her it does not really matter. I will let them know and if they disagree oh well they don't have to see us. Really though why did they like him but change now? There must have been something.

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  • by -O-uknow on September 27th, 2007

    -O-uknow

    Save him from the misery of your relatives.

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  • by Fiddle on September 27th, 2007

    Fiddle

    I'm sorry to hear about that. Lacking family support is very demoralizing. If you are independent financially and so is he then things might be easier than if that poses an issue for either of you. Perhaps your parents just can't stand to lose their child depart from their safe nest yet. Do their concerns have any basis besides race? Would your parents disapprove if he still had the same personality traits and was a black man instead? It could be that they will disapprove of anyone who isn't meeting up to some impossibly high standard of theirs. If it is simply racial bias attitudes that's the saddest, people who are still fighting the Civil War is so outdated now! Seek out the people that see objectively and care about you. Find true friends that can see most clearly and will give you the right guidance.

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  • by tesha-m on May 31st, 2010

    tesha-m

    I get where you're coming from, I'm black and I'm really attracted to white guys. I don't know why, It's just a thing I've got, however... your parents should love you no matter what the circumstances are. If your parents love you enough to just let you go then who you date shouldn't be a problem unless he is treating you bad. But sometimes you've got to look at it in your parents eyes and think if you did alienate them then who would you turn to and would you still be able to cope without them. These situations can be really hard. But yeah I think your parents just need to sit down with you and him and talk about it. Wish all the best darling. Also, there is this book called 'What to choose' or something like that and basically it's about how to deal with these kind of situations.

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