ANSWERS: 79
-
I've got a bomb.
-
If I were on an airplane, I would not say "is that smoke I smell/see?"
-
Gun
-
Do I have to check these explosives, or can I give them to you to store in the overhead? Did anybody notice that my shoes are ticking? Do you have a vegetarian meal there for a Mrs. Bin Laden? I've changed my mind. I want to go to Cleveland instead. Anybody know where I can get a Prozac prescription refilled? Can someone help me get this door open? I need some air. Anybody have a parachute?
-
1.does anyone knw where the bathroom is?i've really got to go 2.(halfway through the journey)i left my purse behind.head back 3.i m hijacking the plane! i hav got a gun! i'll shoot every one of you.....gotcha! 4.Give me all ur valuables! or i'll fart...
-
What's this message on my laptop? It says, A new device has been found Device: Airbus A310 Run auto configuration?
-
Say really LOUD to the stewardess: Is that engine supposed to be on fire!!
-
Wheres the other wing? Is that the Pilot with that bottle of whiskey? Does anyone have a fuse? Does anyone know where the nearest tall building is?
-
Help! The pilot's drunk!
-
Are we there yet? (Long haul)
-
Grab the mic.. Then tell the passengers there's a slight problem and ask.......... Does anyone know how to fly a plane?
-
If the plane crashes and I survive,but you don't,can I eat you if I am starving to death?
-
When you want the window seat don't yell out "I got shotgun!" If they put you in the emergency exit isle don't yell out "So if we crash we get out first right?" I flew with someone who did both of these things. Needless to say it was our last trip together
-
'Can someone light my shoe please?'
-
I feel like vomiting.
-
Are we crashing? Is that wing falling off? Did the plane run out of fuel?
-
Film maker on his way to make the pilot episode of a new TV series: "I'm going to shoot a pilot".
-
Where are my pills?
-
You ever seen a grown man naked?
-
Hi Jack!
-
قناة عربية إخبارية تعمل على مدار اليوم. يمكنك مشاهدة بث القناة منخلال الموقع.
-
The left filange is broken!
-
''This Plane has been taken over by a previously unknown terrorist cell. We will inform you of our destination when we have decided if we have enough fuel to get there'' Or 'We forgot to refuel and only have enough parachutes for the crew'
-
I met the pilot in the bar, we had 6 drinks before the flight
-
Stewardess, Can you hold my KNife whilst I load my gun with Bullets
-
Well, I sure know that if you feel like having a laugh at your friend, or someone you don't like too much, you should simply take them to an airport and pretend to be doing a crossword ask them the question "hey....I can't find this one...four letters....something that ticks and then explodes...what is that?"
-
I have a gut feeling that this plane is going to crash in five minutes.
-
'Omigodomigodomigod' non-stop, whilst rocking back and forth in your seat, eyes squeezed tightly shut.....
-
jump, if it in mid flight
-
In air conversation: (caps means yelling, while lowercase is normal/quiet) "HI, JACK! How are things going? I know Vegas is going to be THE BOMB, huh? Time is just TICKING by. I can't wait to get there. Oh, have you seen the PILOT for the new show, The Black Donnellys? It's really a BLAST. YOU'LL DIE laughing!"
-
Snaaaakes!
-
Are we flying over Washington DC? "Attention please. Will all the Arabs flying on this flight please move to the rear of the plane." Over the intercom in the airport: "will the owner of a black samsonite bag with the sticker Bush Sucks/Osam Bin here, please report to gate 2."
-
Definitely don't say nasty things to the flight attendants. Remember, they are the ones that bring you your food and drink. You never know what goes on in the galley (kitchen)!
-
Is the gas tank fully fueled? Are there any air marshals on this flight?
-
- What happened to the earth? - Should I try it through this tornado? - Why are they shooting at us?
-
i work at 7-11
-
Aaaaaaaaaaah! We're all gonna die, we're all gonna die!!!!!!
-
Are those flames I see? Did the pilot just jump?
-
Tell flight attendant to give message to pilot. "Next FIVE rounds are on ME!"
-
Pull My Finger ....
-
I'm about to puke
-
Did you hear that?
-
SNAKES!
-
Bomb. Anyone else remember Meet the Parents? "I'm a bomb - a - deer!!!" LMAO (couldn't find it on YouTube...)
-
The right philangie is missing.
-
TERRORIST!!!!! or FIRE or "i havent taken a shower in 10 days!" or "i forgot to put deodorant on this morning!"
-
"bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb" - according to Meet the Parents. :-D
-
To the person sitting next to you. "Hey! Let me tell you my life story and then ask you a bunch of questions about the book you're trying to read! Then when I'm finished with that, I'm going to make random comments about the plane ride and laugh and giggle."
-
im gonna answer the door..
-
HI! JACK! (or did it post already? if so, please disregard..
-
I'm gonna stop over here,where is the bell?
-
If we can ride through the eye of the storm, we should be fine. or We were just *bzzzzzt*-ck by lightning. There-*bzzzzt*nothing wwrong with the electri-*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
-
"I hope this plane crashes"
-
I forgot to take my beano after all that chili!
-
It's a bomb!!!!
-
B O M B!!
-
I am sure it's not going to crush. Remember that Alanis Morissette song "Ironic"?
-
Hai Pilot just play with me and get good score with me
-
Heres my personal favorite, in response to recent allegations of drunk pilots. (capt and first officer sit down in the cockpit to begin starting instruments and getting ready) Capt: How many beers you had? F/O: Only ten, plus a few shots here n there. Capt: Good, you better fly this leg, this nyquil is so trippy F/O: dude your tripping on nyquil? Capt: Well I hit the joint a few times back in the crew room F/0: your so wasted, lets see who fly a straight line ATC: clearance for takeoff granted on runway two niner Capt: youuuuuurrrr mom's cleared for takeoff (bursts of laughter from both pilots)
-
I forgot my Beano!
-
"I'M NOT FROM THE MIDDLE EAST, promise"
-
Hi, Jack!
-
LONG LIVE MOHAMMED!!!(hope i spelled it right) Damn this gun, its very uncomfortable down there. Hes got a gun!!!!
-
"I need to get off NOW...."!! and your already in the air.
-
God bless allah!
-
you're the bomb!
-
My name is Osama,is today a good day to die, infidel?
-
Bomb jokes are not funny.
-
Nver talk about Terrorist, Bomb jokes, or taking control of the plane. Greenbean
-
I brought a bomb! XD
-
I have the farts.
-
FIRE!
-
(Pilot over loudspeaker) "Oops"
-
(Pilot to co-pilot over loudspeaker) "Ooops....Hang on tight"
-
Does anybody else hear ticking?
-
im goin to hijack this plane take a swig of exlac and ask the person next to you if they want some
-
Do you have a Muslim meal?
-
true story. I've friend that's a mechanic and HATEs to fly. on one flight, one of his first he had just about gotten to his destination and he heard the landing gear come down. bzzzz clunk, bzzzz, bzzz, bzzzz. so my friend thinks 'hmmm, one side went clunk and the other side didn't.' he hears it try again. then asks the stewardess loudly 'the landing gear didn't lock down!' 'can the plane land on only two wheels!?' his fears were confirmed when they circled the airport for almost 30 minutes repeatedly going bzzz, bzzz, then finally bzzzz clunk. then proceeded to land. he had passengers all screaming and praying over their last minutes. the stewardess asked him to please be quiet, the pilot came back to console him, his wife was totally embarrassed and asked him to just shut up. what fun!
-
"I hope I don't fart because if I do, this bomb I shoved up my butt, might go off a bit earlier than planned!" +4
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC