- NEW!
by singwell-is off researching a lot on April 2nd, 2007
Once activated, mouth does not turn off.
by PuhLahMuhLoo on May 14th, 2007
Insert dollar into pocket for three minutes of interaction. Credit Cards accepted.
by Sunblynd 5.0 on April 8th, 2007
Pull my finger.
WARNING; DO NOT PULL FINGER.
by rdrainer on July 11th, 2007
Don't bother reading the instructions; unit will not respond according to applied directions. May disappear if irritated and reappear in a different time zone or dimension. Responds poorly to abuse and neglect. Feed occasionally but not too often. Do not leave unattended near females.
by Twila_Zoned on July 10th, 2007
Not dishwasher safe.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Must be 30 years or older to operate safely.
Once used rectally, this product should not be used orally.
For use by trained personnel only.
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
by Anonymous on May 6th, 2007
Ummm...let's face it, this was an impulse buy, right? Ok, it's not too late to return it...That's right...back in the box...go...Good. Now let's forget this ever happened.
by Friartuck on May 6th, 2007
Be VERY careful where you insert the batteries...
by Lee-san on June 22nd, 2007
Good luck. . . .no warranty available.
by I love my baby on December 27th, 2007
Instructions incomplete.
by Drastic on December 27th, 2007
It would say...this is an exact duplicate, you fail!
by lizizhere on April 2nd, 2007
Warning do not add alcohol!!!
by Trisha Had her baby on December 27th, 2007
HAHAHA you'll never figure me out. Just have fun. lol
by kitten is smiling... on September 20th, 2007
"From 0 to bitch in less than sixty seconds!"
by KitaShu on June 26th, 2007
To open box, place pizza next to package, find a good hiding spot, and wait for your purchase to pop out and attack the pizza.
Warning: Is extremely random, violent, moody and destructive. Be sure to have insurance on everything you own. Do not put in same room with an idiot.
by Azimythe on December 28th, 2007
Please, don't break the condom.
by Azimythe on December 28th, 2007
Please use a condom.
by Nathan Explosion on September 21st, 2007
RUNS ON ALCOHOL ONLY!!
by DJ_Kremlin on December 12th, 2007
To turn on: Pull Here!
by SASSYWI-Q-Sassia-Jetpacking with NASCAR on December 27th, 2007
Nitro--beware!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Downtownriott on September 15th, 2007
You put the socket left into the right foonbopper, then the boinkzapper into the whiznicket. But do not attach the lateral foonbopper to the whiznicket under any circumstances.
by Cowboy-Matter of Fact on May 6th, 2007
Contains Pressurized Gas. Do Not Incinerate.
Caution Choking Hazard - Objects Are Larger Than They Appear. No Refunds.
by Anonomous on December 27th, 2007
DANGER, step away or you might be hurt.
by danny1 on August 25th, 2007
Some dis-assembly required.
by GhostWriter13 has found his voice again on July 16th, 2007
::Front::
See Reverse for Care Instructions
::Reverse::
See Front for Care Instructions
I'm kinda enigmatic like that.
by ChrisDG on June 8th, 2007
This product may act erratic when exposed to alcohol, female models or indeed both. This is normal. Leave for 24 hours.
by Morg the Army wife on June 8th, 2007
Do not PI$$ off
Do not attempt to out-drink
by Laura_X on April 2nd, 2007
Ignore what she says completly. It's all nonsense =D
by Audiotron on December 11th, 2007
Warning, contents under pressure. At any time contents may explode out and make no sense.
by LiLDoe on June 18th, 2007
This device is not intended to preform cleaning, cook or any domestic duties. Only intended for original purchase purpose.
by katydid15 on January 25th, 2008
Feed regularly or becomes grumpy.
Listen intently.
Hug often.
Love always...
by gtravels loves her life penguin on December 27th, 2007
by Gracie on December 12th, 2007
Fragile...handle with care.
by Cannabis its just a plant on June 18th, 2007
Put everything together and make sure it works, have fun and be careful.
by DaisyKate on April 24th, 2007
This item has been recalled for performance upgrades.
by Nan on October 27th, 2008
Cover with sun oil on the beach and roll in small diamonds. Feed in five star restraunts, and wrap in Mink on cold nights while viewing NYC from the 15th floor of the best hotel in town.
by stresst on October 27th, 2008
OLD STOCK, WELL TRAINED,
KEEP FED AND WATERED,
KEEP IN SUNLIGHT,
GIVE PLENTY OF TEA AND FAGS
LET IT WATCH JERRY SPRINGER
AND MAURY.
GOOD MILAGE LEFT ON CLOCK.
by BadPurplePony on October 24th, 2008
CAUTION: Handle with extreme care!
Never leave next to a loaded firearm.
Do not agitate, irritate, humiliate, agravate, or attempt to inflict any type of physical or emotional pain. Unit will not respond well and may cause extreme damage to anything in its path.
Does well independtly and may require periods of solitary confinement.
Responds well to TLC and massage therapy.
Gentle with children and animals.
Loving only with the right humans at the right times.
by koldkanuck on January 23rd, 2008
Handle with care but please do handle.
by anonymous on December 27th, 2007
Treat with kindness and respect and you will reap the benefits for years to come.
by Calehay on December 18th, 2007
Destroy immediately, not fit for human interaction.
by DrkBlader27 on October 7th, 2007
Instructions:
WARNING!!!! DO NOT OPERATE WITHOUT A SWAT TEAM AND THE WHOLE ARMY!!!! DIRE CONSEQUENCES WILL HAPPEN INCLUDING:
GLOBAL WARMING SPEEDING UP
MASS KILLING
and
ANNOYANCE TILL THE END OF TIME!!!
Thank you.
by Anonymoose on August 31st, 2007
Daily dose of Chocolate recommended.
by mekare on June 22nd, 2007
"handle with care, may self destruct without warning."
by MrWitch on June 22nd, 2007
May cause drowsiness.
by The King of Awesome on June 22nd, 2007
This device can cause random outbursts of hilarity and causes women with a hundred yard radius to lose all inhibition...
by Chrissy on October 2nd, 2009
Fragile.....handle with care!
by faithsimpson on August 18th, 2009
She will never lie, she cries a lot. she requires kisses daily and hugs hourly. She loves to snuggle. And there must be a bathroom located everywhere you take her. She will pee frequently. She will love you as long as you love her.
by tractorgirl on July 28th, 2009
Open with caution.
This product will kick your ass. When this happens, run in a serpentine fashion to the nears exit. DO NOT LOOK BACK. This will cause the product to get mad and start throwing things.
by 2468bigjim on July 26th, 2009
Suck my dick
by Anonymous on July 26th, 2009
*handle with care*
If you expect more from folks than they are capable of/willing to give you then you will always be disappointed. Do you and have you? Why?
by RosieGHM Jetpacker 19 hours ago
| 3 people like this
Some pursue happiness, others create it. Which do you do?
by specialorder 14 hours ago
| 2 people like this
Truth is personal, not universal. Any quarrel with that? What and why?
by RosieGHM Jetpacker 23 hours ago
| 1 person likes this
No matter how far down the wrong path you've gone, turn back! Comments?
by specialorder 14 hours ago
| 1 person likes this
Have you/or have you met people who "talk about problems" but never about solutions?
by shunyata 16 hours ago
| 1 person likes this
You're reading If YOU came with Instructions what would they say?
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Comments
yikes!!
by Gabstar on September 13th, 2007
LOL! +
by Kal-El on January 20th, 2008
Hahahaha! That's funny!
by Me2 on March 16th, 2008
lmao :D
by Tinkabelle on April 10th, 2008
hahaha
by Elvira on May 26th, 2009