ANSWERS: 4
  • I pull it off, scold it mildly, put it back in the crib, and check its diaper. Someday it will be human, and I don't need enemies.
  • Scream, clutch the part where it is biting me, and run in a circle, all while trying to pull it off. +2
  • Grasp it firmly around the neck and squeeze the esophagus. It will turn loose. Hold it up to eye level and shake my finger in its face, saying "no, no". I am assuming this takes place in the wild...and the critter is not one of my nephews or nieces (lol).
  • I yell, "Ich wil den Klaviersetin!" and then bop it on the head with my copy of the Scut Monkey Handbook...

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