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Lost In Shadow
Here i stay,
Waiting,
Watching,
Planning,
For the day these chains no longer bind me.
Patiently awaiting the day,
I can step out of the shadows that hide me.
Screaming silently for the day,
That i no longer have to fear what i hold inside of me.
But until then i wander the shadows,
Lost,
Afraid,
Broken,
With nobody beside me.
(i realize it doesn't rhyme, it wasn't meant to)
I revised again
+5 who told you about me ?
It is not a poem but is good at conveying emotion.
I so relate to this poem I love it
great job
very nice.. i like the gloom within it... i would not use "me" at the end of most of your phrases(is that what you call them)
i am looking to startinto writing a book of poetry.. i am 16 and i like dark matters like this poem here... it gives me inspiration
it opened a window for a peak at you in that time . nicely done ;-)
Too gloomy -- maybe you need counseling.
The promise of a new day is always desired. I can relate to how the words in the poem hope for a new beginning in each day, but the sorrow seems to fade with no newness, just the same despair.
Not bad. I'd like to see it formatted, though ... Maybe something like this?:
Here i stay,
waiting,
watching,
planning,
for the day these chains no longer bind me.
Patiently awaiting
the day that i can step out of the shadows
that hide me.
Screaming silently
for the day that i no longer have to fear
what i hold inside of me.
But until then i wander the shadows,
lost,
afraid, [and -unnecessary for a poem]
broken
with nobody beside me.
(Just a first-blush formatting. It's not really a poem as you formatted it at first. It's more a paragraph from a novel.)
Now, give it a name. ;-)
nice wods
I could feel the suffocation you are undergoing in the cruel world
but still your soul tries to strive for the light... good one
I could feel the pain you had in your words....
Cut along the vein, it will relieve the world of your awful self-indulging "poetry".
I really like it. I describes how I feel deep inside at the moment. Well done.
What is a credo poem?
by Answerbag Staff on May 18th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Finish: roses are red, viloets are____________?
by DIYman on December 8th, 2011
| 4 people like this
what is your favorite poem or lyric?
by guardman 22 on November 19th, 2011
| 2 people like this
is this a good poem?
by Dylan_L2271 on November 16th, 2011
| 2 people like this
Does anyone else write poetry when they are hurting? It is an outlet for me...
by Nancy is really struggling right now... on November 21st, 2011
| 1 person likes this
You're reading I would like a review of one of my pieces of poetry could you give me some feedback(poem in answer)
Comments
+6 who told you about me ?
by -Icy- on September 14th, 2009
say what?
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009
those words sound just like me.
by -Icy- on September 14th, 2009
maybe we had similar experiences
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009
i think that might be as i read the words i was like wow ! freaky
by -Icy- on September 14th, 2009
yeah
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009
I Love it, OMG that is soooo exciting, “you know” there WILL be a no fear day and you are waiting for it. It WILL bring you out of the shadows, and are on your way already. You are searching for and will find that something which will break the fear so you can let it go.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your poem.
So sorry for the pain you are going through right now, and feeling so alone, I’d stand with you if I could
no one should be alone. But please know I do care.
I'm happy that you see a light at the end of the tunnel. ((((((((((Hugs)))))))))
by Gone on September 14th, 2009
thank you for your support but this was written a few years ago and now i am at peace
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009
That's soooooooo great, can you share what you found that brought you from that place you were in, to peace?
Makes me want to jump for joy for you.......(((((((((Hugs)))))))
by Gone on September 14th, 2009
actually what brought me to peace was me founding my own religious beliefs and learning to forgive myself through these beliefs
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009
Oh wow, that happened to me also. Amazing what can happen when that veil is lifted and we are able to see ourself through God's eyes/heart.......I don't know if you experienced this but when
my forgiveness was finally settled in my mind my understanding
was opened up for a lot more.
If you saw the Miracle Worker with Patty Duke as the deaf blind girl; when she remembered the word water and all she had learned suddenly took on a new meaning and made sense. I've had a couple of those moments and the first one was due to truly understanding God's forgiveness through learning how to forgive myself.
Soooooo happy for you. You just made my night Thanks.
by Gone on September 14th, 2009
your welcome and good for you. but i am not christian
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009
The Christian God Creator is the same Creator God everyone has.
Some people just call him by a different name is all.
by Gone on September 14th, 2009
sorry but that is not my belief
by shadowofdeath is back on September 14th, 2009