ANSWERS: 4
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  • Have you gone to therapy? Knowing what you know and dealing with the feelings are two different things. If sex feels like punishment to you, then don't do it. It may not be fair to your partner, but does he know how you feel about it? It's going to be a long road to get through this and while the scars may always be there, you can work through them until you reach the point of being at least 'okay' with having sex. Sex needs to be fun, not a punishment. I was in therapy for 8 years, once each week, to work through all the issues with my family, so I know that it can be a long road. I would start by setting boundaries for yourself and stick to them. If you don't, you will just keep on opening those painful memories as emotional wounds and eventually you will resent it.
  • You need some good help. You need to bring closure to what happened in the past. Until you can do this you will have problems. What happened isn't the end of the world. There are many faces to molestation and though many are not good some are actually enjoyed by the person and was not a problem until they read or were otherwise convensed something bad occured. You need to search out for yourself your feelings at the time this was occuring. Many times theropists can make things worse than they were by convencing you they were...go back over your true feelings of those times and come to a piece about them then your marriage should be a lot better. I wish I could help you more...
  • Get some serious therapy. It IS possible to have a healthy sex life even after being molested, but it takes work. The right therapy, and it may help you.
  • You probably will be psychologically scarred for life. But deep therapy may possibly make it easier to cope with. It can be made to recede into buried memory. Therapy, therapy, therapy. How is your husband handling this?

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