"It was a dark and stormy night...."

And then I realized the condom had ripped.

I was walking down the dank and dark halls of Answer-Bag when suddenly......

Depends on what type of Book you want to write.

"And that was the day I died."

once upon a time I had this very bad itch on my ____ but I was in the middle of the ____ so there was no way I could itch it. What I did next was ____ (and then you fill in the blanks and work from there)

Love Muffins

It was full swing silly season when it all began...

I hate writing. I couldn't DREAM of being an author, a poet, or a reporter. Sitting around on my *ss all day inventing tales, drafting mushy rhymes about love and flowers, or trying to make some assinine bit of public trivia into something interesting enough to read in a newspaper just ISN'T for me. So why am I working in a hospital transcribing medical records into the computer archives? Because it pays the rent. And I can pretty much set my own hours. So long as I get the work done my boss could care less what time of day or night I come in. I just keep track of my hours and email him my time. He brings me all the records requiring transcription and I magically convert everything into neatly files electronic files. It doesn't pay much, but it does pay the rent. And it covers for my real job. Or should I say hobby? Something as entertaining as my other occupation certainly shouldn't be classified as a job. I'm a tracer. A hunter, a tracker, a seeker, a detective, call me what you will. You name it: man, beast, object, or Fae, I can find it. No matter how well hidden or warded, if it exists I can trace it. The Elves have a name for me as well. But not only is it unpronouncable, it's entirely uncomplimentary. Of course, that might be due to that little misunderstanding with the Elven King's daughter, but that's a story for another time.

Swiss cheese!

Day one,still tired from the move... or So,is this as good as it Gets?...

Well first, what are you writing about? What's the topic? At any rate, I suggest, if you haven't done it, to write your book's title first--that will help you to focus on the topic and gives you a concept to start working with. Make sure the title is clear to you and answers the many questions which are doing the rounds in your mind, but also be very clear whom you're writing the book for.

this book is dedicated to .....

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.....hang on I think that's already taken.

Like this: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. “Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! “What’s up Draco?” I asked. “Nothing.” he said shyly. But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX History is made.

It was Christmas eve and everyone was feeling Merry, so she left.

It was a dark and stormy night.....

All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl. All work and no play makes Miss Bangin' a dull girl.

Chapter 1. When Maverick left my house this morning, I was on top of the world. The images of the passionate last few nights we spent together seemed like they would never leave my mind. Maybe I didn't want them to. Finish the rest yourself you lazy bum. :):)

Last night I dreamed. Last night I dreamed of Josie. This morning, I needed to know why I had to wake up. Must I wake up? And when I do, where does he go...where does Josie go? Will he come back. How do I know? Josie, do I have to wait for my dreams for you? I wish...I wish... Josie. Josie

With something that would draw the readers instant attention. It's really up to you.

The stranger that stood on the threshold was tall, dark and handsome. As soon as I saw him, my heart started to race and I knew that we would end up making love that night......

Once upon a time... How's that?

I sat on the front porch swing thinking of how I have wasted my last five years, but now I had a chance to change it and make it better. My decision will mark the beginning of a new life.

She stood at the edge, contemplating whether or not her decision would mean hello or goodbye...

Call me, Tater Tots.

It's YOUR book, remember? Are you hiring a ghost writer?