How does a parent learn to talk to teen and young adult children from the heart, about really important things? Any suggestions?
by 
tapatio
ANSWERS: 5
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You really don't need to "learn" how to talk to teens. They understand English and will listen to what you have to say, if they believe that you are being HONEST with them, and don't take on a "lecturing" tone. +5
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I started talking to my son about everything the moment he was able to understand. He's 9 now and we've covered smoking, drugs, alcohol, swearing, abuse and sexuality. I bring up the subjects when I see it happening...a commercial, someone on the street, etc. He's very comfortable now with coming to me for answers. good luck :)
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Do you mean that you have things to tell them, or that you want to open the channels of communication so they'll come to you with important issues? If the latter, then be a good listener. When your teen comes to talk, drop what you're doing and listen, if at all possible. Do not minimize their concerns. Those opportunities don't come along every day, but they will happen more often if you show your kids that you take them seriously and don't patronize them for being kids. If, on the other hand, you have some issues you want to discuss (like drugs or sex), pick a calm, relaxed day and open the conversation yourself. Don't worry if the opening is a little rough or awkward. Some subjects are not easy to discuss. Answer your kids' questions as they come. Try not to be dogmatic. If you simply say, "Don't do drugs", they won't tell you later on if they have a problem, because they know you'll freak out. Try to be an understanding--but not too permissive--parent.
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When I did counseling with teens ; so many told me that they felt as if NO ONE actually "LISTENED" to what they had to say ... Like parents heard them ; but not the actual words ; just as a voice ... that had no meaning ... Take time to sit down and TALK ... look them in the eyes and be sincer ... Listen to what they have to say and ask ... and just openly and honestly COMMUNICATE .... +5
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Try and sound like Ali G innit?
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