When you ask how someone is doing, do you usually say it in a way that is rhetorrical, as if to say hello, or do you actually ask to ask the question?
by 
Penny The Wise
ANSWERS: 8
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I say it in a hello kind of way, but I still expect an answer. But if someone's in a hospital, or injured in some way, I say it as a question.
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I always get caught off guard by it, because I always end up answering, and looking like a retard... I always ask as a question, if I didn't want to know, I wouldn't ask. Its actually sortof annoying that people say it and don't mean it, it throws alot of people off, as far as my friends and family goes. Maybe it was just the way I was raised.
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I always try to say what I mean and mean what I say. If I'm addressing a cashier, server or train passenger, I'm asking the question genuinely. It may be rooted in etiquette -- I don't necessarily need to know about your mortgage woes or fungus toe -- but I enjoy the polite banter of it.
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I ask to ask, not as a hello.
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I say it like anyone would say "hey". Some people actually tell me how they're doing while others just respond with a "hello" right back to me.
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It's more of a, "Hey, how's it going." I usually get a, "Hey" or a, "Fine, and you?" response. If They say, "Fine, and you?" I say, "fine." If I'm really interested to know how they are doing I'll say, "Hey, how is your family?" or "How have you been?" something more in depth or personal.
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If I ask someone how they are or how they are doing, I am expecting them to respond with some sort of information about something good or bad that is going on or has recently happened in their life, and to have at least a small conversation. Since I am not a naturally "chatty" person and small-talk does bug me most days, I don't ask the question often, and hardly ever to strangers, but when I do ask it it is a genuine question. I wonder if the people who do say it rhetorically, in the same way they would say "hi", would actually admit they were doing that though... there are certainly plenty of them about... my mum is terrible at it, whenever she asks me how I am I usually only manage to respond for 5 seconds before she interrupts me - she isn't really interested in "how I am", it is just something she says to start the conversation.
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I'm not the one normally asking it, i'm replying to it so most likely i'm asking it just because it's imprinted in my brain.
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