"If you were to strike up a conversation with a stranger, what would you say to them first?" The British answer would of course be anything to do with the weather.

Q) Tea or Coffee? A) Tea with milk.

The question confuses me. Aren't 'Britishness' and 'Englishness' the same thing? Is there a concept of 'Britishness' outside of England? There certainly isn't amongst the Scots I know. I find 'Britishness' to be a throwback to the bygone days of English Imperialism, only to be wheeled out by Scotsmen when it's suits them, like Gordon Brown, and don't forget John Reid is a Scot as well. Nevets- Just checked it out and failed it. I take it that means i'm not British, but that's OK 'cos i'm a Scot. I believe that was my point. Sorry to throw a damp squib at all the other funny answers, but I lose my sense of humour when the Scottish /English /British thing rears it's head. Firebrand- You're right he is, but in his case he could have been from Mars in 1997 and still won the election by a landslide. In Brown's case he is coming accross all 'british' now that it suits him, and John Reid is keeping quiet on the subject 'cos a lot of English people don't realise he's actually a Scot.

I'd definitely include some British slang in there... It took me forever to figure out what taking the piss meant.. And I'm still not even sure how to phrase it correctly!

If on the tube, would you a) gaze cheerily at your fellow passengers or b) pretend to read a magazine or newspaper? If a member of staff in a shop was rude to you would you a) demand to see the manager or b) leave the shop grumbling? If your friend arrived at your house crying would you a) ask them to tell you what was wrong in detail or b) make them a cup of tea? If it was really hot and sunny outside would you a) stay in the shade and drink plenty of fluids or b) take off as many clothes as possible and lie/run around in the sun until you felt dizzy?

Give them ten pints If they're not really bothered, then they're British.

1) When choosing a bank holiday out do you... A)Head to the nearest sea side resort, sit in the car and moan the whole time, get there and sit in the rain, then come home again thoroughly miserable?- 20 B)Go jet setting off to some holiday destination and have a wonderful time?- 0 C)Stay at home and tinker around in the garden?-10 D) Go on a magical mystery tour to the places on the brown signs?- 15 2) Which of these is the most British sauce? A)Tomato Sauce-10 B)Mustard-20 C)Brown Sauce-15 D)Barbeque Sauce-0 3) When you wake up you.... A) Have a cup of tea-20 B) Go to the loo-10 C) Have a fully fried breakfast-15 D) None of the above-0 4)What is your favourite topic of conversation? A)Politics-15 B)The Neighbours-10 C)The weather-20 D)None of the above-0 5) What do you thrive on? A) Disappointment-15 B) Sub-standardness-10 C) Cups of tea-20 D) None of the above-0 6) What is your opinion of the national health service/ public transport A) Efficient, clean and useful-0 B) Money wasting devices with too many officials-10 C)Really f*cked up-15 D) Late, dirty good for nothing asshole officials running this country into the ground-20 7)What is your general attitude to life? A) I deserve better-0 B) you've already trodden in it-15 C) Always look on the bright side of life-10 D) All I need is a view, a brew and a loo- 20 8)What is the solution to all of life's problems? A) Ignore it and it might go away-10 B) Moan endlessly, then just face facts and move on-15 C) There isn't one, everything needs something different and productive to make it improve-0 D) Tea solves everything-20 9) Do you actually understand the map of the London Underground? A) Yes. The colour coding is a particularly effective and useful way of displaying said map-0 B) No, I just ask someone else to explain-10 C) No, I just pretend I do, get on anywhere and pray it'll lead me to work-15 D) Of course I bloody don't! I'm not frickin' Einstein!-20 10) What do you think of the Queen? A) An age old institution of Britain who we must keep-10 B) Part of our heritage, who is money grabbing and tight fisted, with some very ugly children, but we love her anyway-15 C) Completely useless-0 D) Well, she's better than Tony Blair to have on the coins- 20 0-10- About as British as a continental Breakfast! 15-30- Getting there. More of an Isle of Wighter there 35-70- Well done! You are quite British! 75+- Woo go you! British to the core!

Ask them where they are going on Holiday and why. Answer Benidorm or Torre to get pissed on cheap booze, and shag every slapper in the place. Sorry:)

You are sat eating Sunday dinner with your family. You have a lovely beef joint in front of you. Do you ask the person next to you to pass A) Salad cream B) Tomato sauce C) English mustard D) Mint sauce You are sat eating Sunday dinner with your family. You have a lovely lamb joint in front of you. Do you ask the person next to you to pass A) Salad cream B) Tomato sauce C) English mustard D) Mint sauce You are sat eating fish and chips with your family. You have saturated your chips with salt and vinegar. Which other TWO sauces may also accompany this dish? A) Salad cream B) Tomato sauce C) English mustard D) Mint sauce Demonstrate on this model tea cup exactly how to hold the cup of tea and drink it. Which situation is drinking a hot cup of tea not applicable in? A) It's the middle of summer, sweltering hot and you are at the beach. B) You are stranded in the middle of the Sahara desert, you are likely to die of heat exhaustion and dehydration. C) You are at a funeral. D) It is the year 4726 and no tea exists anymore anywhere in the universe. You are in a pub, drinking with your mates. Someone mentions where they went on holiday. Which nationality of people do you not grumble about? A) The French B) The Germans C) The Spanish D) None of the above The greatest battle ever to oocur was A) The Rumble in the Jungle B) Oasis vs Blur 1966. Geoff Hurst's shot was A) Over the line B) Not over the line C) Over the line, by miles, we won 4-2, and beat the bloody Germans, hahahahaha, suck on your sauerkraut! Afternoon tea can not include which: A) Scones with jam and full cream B) Sausage rolls C) Pizza D) Roast beef sandwiches, crusts removed (naturally) Which side of the road do you drive on A) The left B) The wrong You are asked by the International Olympic Committee to suggest a new sport to add to the Games. Naturally you want to make it a game easy for us Brits to win. You suggest A) Queueing B) Anything else Your house is on fire. You can only rescue on thing. You choose A) Your cat B) Your 3 year old child C) Your wife D) Your Queen record collection, signed by Freddie Mercury You are male. You can spend hours chatting to your mates in the pub about A) Big Brother B) Clothes C) The best route to take from Edinburgh to Maidstone "No, you want to come off at the roundabout before that, on the B2614, with the bent tree on it, and *then* take the next left, past the Welcome Break with that hot cashier, that way you avoid the speed cameras. After that, go onto Junction 38..." You are female. You know more about the lives of A) Your kids B) Your parents C) The residents of Albert Square and Coronation Street. If the National Anthem is changed, you think the new National Anthem should be A) Rule Brittania B) The Archers tune C) Match of the Day D) Any of the above

1) Do you think there should be a "Britishness" test for immigrants if they want to live and work in this country? 2) do you think you know EXACTLY what should be included in such a test? 3)Can you be arsed to write it down? 3) Do you want to pay for someone else to write it down? If you answered Yes, Yes No, No, you're almost definetly British.