meeting new people and being on Lexapro

A little Shyness is a good quality why overcome it? confidence is good but over confident can be arrogant.

My ex husband (when we first met) helped me. He taught me not to let people run over me and to take up for myself. It took a very long time but I finally got to a point where I could strike up a conversation instead of sitting there waiting on someone else to do it.

Me - one of my teachers noticed i was shy and he said just find something interesting to talk about and put up your hand to answer a question. And also not to care about what people think of your opinion as long as you belieave its true thats all you do should do. mI am no longer shy now but i still have troubl talking to girls.

Liquor~!

Speech class. It built my confidence and made me find my voice. It was probably one of the most important class I ever took in high school and college.

The prescription drugs always help.

People's Cruelty to judge me for being quiet and smart. People used to step all over me because i'll be too shy to say something....but not anymore, now whenever anyone wants to tell me something they think twice on how to tell me, if i only knew how good this felt, i would've overcome my shyness long time ago.

Yes medication can be a solution or at least a start to feeling more comfortable in social settings. Marcia, Your Confidence Coach http://goodbyeshyness.blogspot.com

i dunno how i overcome shyness a bit maybe because when i was in college i did / must do lots or reporting infront of my classmates so i got used of it a bit but still when i feel shy or nervous, i laugh or smile a lot to cover what uneasiness i feel when i am shy.. i still feel shy but not that much anymore once i got used or became comfortable to a person or situation..

well i used to be really really shy but as i got older i just thought to myself im going to be who i want to be and if people dont like it its tough luck its not my problem. i used to be really quiet around everyone except my friends but now i just dont care lol if i want to say something i will.

I found that in being shy I missed out on stuff because I was too afraid of what "others" might say or think...personally time and experience has cured my shyness...I still have moments of it, but now I am just over the top and in your face...a complete reverse and I just don't care. I think you have to find your own level in these things what works for some may not for others...my advice would be talk to people, be aware, in a large group or meeting ask one or two questions early on then sit back and enjoy I found it was easier to talk to strangers because if I stuffed up or did something silly I didn't have to face them again...when you get a couple of conversations under your belt - then if gives you confidence to tackle people close to home and you could also try assertiveness training...all designed to be confidence 'releasers' (I never lacked confidence just didn't know how to 'release' it!)... Goodluck

Thanks for all of your wonderful ideas. There are many ways to overcome your shyness. Building your confidence is important to overcome shyness. What you have shared are confidence boosting techniques. Thanks, Marcia, Your Confidence Caoch http://goodbyeshyness.blogspot.com

one thing and one thing only..... drinking

My shyness was so bad that i would not even come out of my room to greet guests in my own home. I had to work very hard at being a different me. I ACT not being shy. I suppose my work helps I am fine in a work setting ( not much good in the law if you cannot talk to people) I found that smiling at people and pretending a confidence i did not feel actually got conversations started. People Have always thought I was stand offish and thought myself superior but it was just shyness.

My friend. Before i used to just stand there saying nothing around a group but she 'broke me out of my shell' as she just kept talking and talking to me even though i hardly knew her and she hardly knew me . And then one day i just ended up going over to her for a change and started talking to her and i started coversations and just saying hi to her each time i saw her. Might sound weird to some people but thats how i overcame my shyness, by getting help from a great friend.

I find Wine/Alcohol seems to be the most effective, inexpensive and bravado inducing substance - you know, for when all those great teachers aren't there.

Unfortuneitly, I have not found that equation.

Nothign really helped that much. I guess you kind of lose it as you grow older. You encounter newer experiences emotional for example. Talking, socializing is another help. Talking to the opposite sex can help. Talking to girls, will make you know them better, and they'll know you.

be confident that you are an interesting person and dont be afraid to express yourself. Its gonna take some practice, and your not gonn abe the social butterfly right away... but you have to work at it.

Tequila!

As several have already said, I just outgrew it. As I got older, I realized "Who cares what others think" and it stopped bothering me so much.

humor, tall sexy blondes, glazed donuts and a Frisbee. email for details

I have found that knowing stuff helps - The older I have become the less shy I am. I'm not shy in anyway nowadays. Identifiying what you are afraid off helps though. Do you just not have anything to say - or are you scared of other peoples reactions or are you scared you'll wet your pants in terror? I did do some practice runs with a girl who was terrified of public speaking and asked me for advice. Wetting her pants or some such thing was her fear. So I had her give a speech, then give it while wetting her pants, and again after she soaked them. It ended up helping - I think she finnally saw it as a silly fear rather then a real one.

The realization that most of everybody else around me is shy too

Overwhelming arrogance and oppressive disdain for at least half the people you meet. If you don't like the person you talk to and you think you're better than them, they it's easier to talk to them. Don't show what you're thinking though, whatever you do. Of course, this doesn't work for everyone....

Being around people that encourage my creativity helped me overcome my shyness. I found out what I was passionate about and chose to be around people that have embraced and encouraged me. I believe that is the key to overcoming shyness.

i see that this question has created a lively discussion. people have shared many different things that have helped. thanks.

1. Turning 28 or so... in my case and in other people I've known I really think that my brain finally grew up about then. 2. Realizing that I was really good at a few things. 3. Go to events, join clubs, volunteer... they give you an excuse to have something to talk about without having to open up a conversation out of the blue with something like "What's your sign?". 4. Practice... each of the literally hundreds of excruciatingly self-conscious times in my life that I was in a social situation and either, in my mind, looked like an idiot, or chickened out of talking to somebody, I think it chipped away at my shyness just a little. And you can only practice by being around people... see #3.

I am not shy - never have been - BUT have been accused of it because at times I havn't said anything. I was raised by perfectionists so to say the wrong thing was worse then being quiet - Now I get a certain thrill out of saying the wrong thing. When I know I can't say the wrong thing - my mind freezes - truth is I don't care - I don't mind the silence as much as other people do - that is different then being shy. If they break and ask me for the truth to fill the silence - I give it to them.

The internet helped me alot at first, it gave me a chance to realize I had alot to offer to a conversation if I could improve the ol' face to face part. Then I got a job in retail, and now you just can't shut me up.

More about my point "Realizing that I was really good at a few things." I mentioned last week... it doesn't have to be anything major. Big ones for me were exercise - just start running a few miles, or take TaeKwonDo or other martial arts lessons. (TKD schools are probably relatively very common across a lot of the country, and hence less elitist or intimidatingly hard-core.) Anybody can get better at it if they stick with it, plus it's fun, and you get the natural exercise high, and you get opportunities to talk w/ people. I used to be intimidated just talking to people; TKD definitely helped that. Sort of a corollary... what worked for me too was leaving my 98-lb weakling self behind... just start doing pushups and situps, buy 10 and 20 lb dumbbells and use them. This definitely helped improve my self-image.

Push through it, and think of the postive things about yourself, and the postive outcome of overcoming!

Embrace it! That leads to acceptance which leads to self-care which leads to self-actualization which leads to confidence! ;-)

I talk more. Ironic, yes?

I went all the way through school and never asked any teacher anything. I never said anything when i was called on, even when i knew the answer. I was too scared to say anything, all because i knew that other kids would make fun of me. We had to go to the auditorium in middle school and make a speech about anything in front of about 150 kids, using a mike at a podium. When it was my turn, i wouldn't talk. After i graduated and went in the Navy, i was stationed in VA Beach. They put me in a coffee mess, which was like a small store. I had to run a cash register for at least 1000 customers a day. The very thought of it scared the shit out of me. But as i was learning, some people made fun at me, some people bitched at me, and some people stuck up for me. And that made the difference. I got to to the point where i would talk to the friendly people, and after i learned other people's personality types, i got to be friends with almost everyone that came in. And one person told me one day that i was probably the most popular person in the squadron, enjoy your 15 minutes of fame. Since then any shyness that i've had is long gone. I will walk up to any total stranger and talk to them. I recently while working with a person doing audio services, had a job doing a high school graduation, i had to get up on stage in front of over 1000 strangers and test the mike. It didn't scare me at all and i was even talking to the crowd.

Altho' it may seem strange/absurd to consider at first, I'm being totally serious here. A lot of (relatively minor) difficulties like shyness are simply & very effectively addressed by remembering that you will die someday. Guaranteed. No doubts or last-minute negotiations. Dead. No more "you" at all - ever! You will die someday! Keeping this *keenly in mind* very often makes conditions like shyness (and lotsa others) seem totally irrelevant in the greater scheme of things. Why worry about a little social faux pas (or even a sh*tload of 'em) when 'the big sleep' lies just around the corner? Dig?! - [BTW: Along a similar vein (among many others), folks who absolutely *must* be "right" about everything every time all the time seem to forget this fact often! Unless they're truly nothing but 'defensive' idiots!] ;-)

Shyness is a character trait. It is not an illness. It is for the individual to decide how they interact with others, in line with their comfort zone

Get a job that requires you to talk to people. Take a public speaking class. Do community service that involves talking to people. Or try speed dating.

I took a public speaking class my senior year in highschool, and that helped alot.

Just start putting yourself out there. Get in situations where you have to interact with people. Do it at first in a way where you mask yourself - hand out fliers for an organization you support. You are promoting the organization, not you so you'll feel a little bit better about approaching strangers. If someone doesn't want a flier, it is not you they are rejecting. You'll get used to the situation of approaching people. The most important character trait to have living in such an open society as we do today is confidence. Confidence is hard to get and even harder to control, but everybody needs some. Practice your confidence and your shyness goes away.

I wrote an article on how to overcome shyness, if you are interested in reading it. Here is the link. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1854735/how_to_overcome_shyness.html