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by Arisztid on December 19th, 2008

Arisztid

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Does anyone get asked silly questions about their race, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, etc (no matter what it is)? If so, what are the questions and how do you answer them (sarcasm and humor welcomed)? (yes, I am posting a list of stupid Gypsy q & a).

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Answers. 12 helpful answers below.

  • by Arisztid on December 19th, 2008

    Arisztid

    Most of these are snarky questions, some of them can be asked not obnoxiously. I am citing when most of them are used obnoxiously. This is the short version:

    1) Q: Are you going to steal something from me? *snarky look*
    me: Nope, it is my day off.
    asker: when did you LAST steal something? *even snarkier look*
    me: I forgot... maybe I should put that on my "to do" list so I am not kicked out of the Gyspy Union.
    asker: you guys have a UNION? Are you being sarcastic?
    ((Do they REALLY have to ask? I think it is rather obvious.))

    2) Q: Do you eat babies?
    me: Nope. I gave them up long ago. They are bad for the waistline.
    ((I was recently called a baby eater on this very board!))

    3) Q: How are your crystal balls?
    me: They are doing quite nicely, thankyou. My Lady takes good care of them along with my magic wand.

    4) Q: ((having just learned I am Romani and not even being a friend of mine...)) Read my palm! *smirk*
    me: Of course, hand it here. *take palm, give it a squint, feed a line of the most amazing bullcrap, then point to one part of it* And there is where it says that you are a moron for thinking all Romani can read palms.

    5) Q: How do you get internet and electricity in your wagon?
    me: Why, with a bloody long extension cord and wireless, what else?

    6) Q: Why do you guys screw your family and/or animals?
    me: We do not, do you?
    asker: NO!! *looks absolutely indignant*
    me: then do not make that assumption about us.

    7) Q: Where do you park your wagon?
    me: In the back yard... it does not fit on the porch.

    8) Q: Scam any old ladies recently?
    me: Nope, not recently. I had better get to it or they shall kick me out of the Gypsy Union.

    9) Q: Do you play the tambourine? *snicker*
    me: Of course. I also fiddle as I dance around the campfire naked nearly every night.
    asker: really?? *big eyes*
    me: Yes, we ALL do that. Chapter 3 ("Maintaining the stereotypes") of the Gypsy Manual stipulates that we must log sufficient "dancing around the campfire naked while playing the violin or tambourine" hours per week.

    10) Q: How much school did you get through? 5th grade, I bet.
    me: I almost completed my LVN and have quite a bit of further college education.
    asker: I don't believe you, you're just a GYPSY! *looks angry*
    me: I am a Gypsy, you are a bigot. Congratulations!

    11) Q: How many Gypsies can fit in an ashtray? ((Holocaust reference, the same one the Jews get))
    me: *raise eyebrow, look at the asker like the insect s/he is and walk off*

    12) Q: How can I become a Gypsy?
    me: No, you are born one or you are not born one.
    asker: but it is just a lifestyle
    me: No. It is a genetic ethnicity. ((explanation if they are decent, but sometimes they say this... ))
    asker: it is a LIFESTYLE! *glares at me like I am the moron here*

    13) Q: Give me your tears, Gypsy, or I shall take them from you. *in bad European accent*
    me
    : I shall send you my Tear Pricelist in the mail tomorrow-ish.
    asker: do they cure AIDS/cancer/etc? *snickering*
    me: no, but they might help with your stupidity.

    14) Q ((pretty specific to America)): Are you a real Gypsy?
    me: Yes, I am a real Gypsy. Please call us Roma. ((if they are stupid... ))
    asker: bullshit. Gypsies don't exist. *looks at me like I am the moron here*
    me: *pokes self* Oh mah Gawd why didn't someone tell me this before??

    15) Q: You guys steal children to sell to the carnivals, don't you? *snigger*
    me: Oh yes, at least once a week. Child stealing is covered in the Gypsy Rule Book, Section 4, subsection 2 in "Stealing... a 'how to'"

    16) Q: Throw a curse on so-and-so for me/put a spell on someone! *looks excited*
    me: I cannot throw curses/put spells on people. That is a stereotype.
    asker: oh come on now, you can trust me... I KNOW you can do it.
    me: no... really, I cannot.
    asker: I'll pay you. *wink*
    me: OK, here is one for free: "may you pull the blinders from your eyes and stop stereotyping people." *wink*

    17) Q: Why don't you have a real Gypsy name?
    A: I do. It is Arisztid. I am a Gypsy and it is my name.
    asker: that don't sound Gypsy. What's your real name.
    me: Ok my real name is Zoltan. ((no, it is not Zoltan))
    asker: I thought so.

    18) Q: I thought all you guys were dark. Why're you so pale?
    A: Not all of us have the same skin color, just like you.
    asker: But you're supposed to be dark! *looks offended*
    me: Nope, you are right. We only come in ONE shade... just like you.

    19) Q: Say something in Gypsy! *said in a demanding tone*
    me: "something in Gypsy!"
    asker: that's not funny.

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  • by michael43 on December 19th, 2008

    michael43

    Well, my wife is Asian and someone once asked me if it was true Asian women's vagina's were sideways! With a straight face I told him yes, and the further I spread her legs, the tighter it got.

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  • by T.K. on December 19th, 2008

    T.K.

    Dude I love you!! I get a lot of Hillbilly-Redneck-Hicks (just depends on who it is) Comments!! I just don't think up as good comebacks as you though!!

    Seriously if I'm in another state or something and someone asks where I'm from they always ask why I don't talk like one!!
    I'm Sorry would it make you feel better if I talked like an inbred!! And before you ask I don't sleep with my cousins either!!

    People drive me crazy with there retarded stereotyping!!

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  • by trouble... staying calm on December 20th, 2008

    trouble... staying calm

    Gypsy Union hun? If you don't pay your monthly dues do they withhold all the good baby eating jobs?;)

    What once annoyed me now amuses me.

    I see dumb people.

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  • by Mephistopheles on December 19th, 2008

    Mephistopheles

    I'm usually asked where I'm from all the time by the dumb racist rednecks "duh, like, where are you from?" I look at them with a real dumb look on my face an go "like, what do you mean? I'm from New Jersey, of course. How about you?" Bwaa haa...you should see those stupid faces drop!

    Yes, yes, yes...I'm a Yankee with a Brooklyn accent living in the loving South...

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  • by Icognegro on November 2nd, 2009

    Icognegro

    wow ppl really are ignorant.. im really starting to open my eyes to just how dumb racist bigotry can sound ..i have been guilty tho and probably sounded just as ignorant ...do you steal babies and eat them is the real question lol omg!

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  • by RosieGHM Jetpacker on December 20th, 2008

    RosieGHM Jetpacker

    You know my friend unless the question is insulting, I'd not call something "silly". Maybe it is asked seriously by someone who would like your answer...you may think it is silly but perhaps the person who asked it doesn't. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. I had an experience a couple of months ago with jannae..I asked her some questions that might have been considered silly, but she answered them in a very kind way and I learned something. That exchange cemented our friendship. She could have blown me off..she didn't. If I've asked you silly questions, it's not because it was my intention..just because perhaps the words used were awkward and I didn't have any others at my disposal. :)

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  • by Moongrim on November 2nd, 2009

    Moongrim

    If it ain't the census I use my imagination.

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  • by raindancer on December 22nd, 2008

    raindancer

    I am as white as white can get and a hetero, so I don't get many myself. I did have this conversation once (many years ago):

    Him: So, what race are you?
    Me: Ah.....white.
    Him: Obviously you're white, but what else are you?
    Me: What?
    Him: What's your ethnic background?
    Me: Oh. Western Europe. I primarily identify with my Scottish and Irish heritage.
    Him: But, you have some Indian blood, don't you?
    Me: No.
    Him: I thought all white people around here did.
    Me: It is pretty common but, to my knowledge, I have none.
    Him: So is your family racist or something?
    Me: (laughs slightly shocked) No, that's just how it turned out.

    Here's a bit of the conversation I had when I jumped someones case for saying it would be fun to go gay bashing. I got him a little flustered.

    Him: So what? You love gay people or something? You're probably a lesbo!
    Me: (laughs for several minutes over the little known fact that I was 4 months pregnant with my first child) You got me. I only think it would be wrong to beat up gay people because I'm a lesbian. Can't get anything past you, can I?


    I do, however, get the occasional comment about my partner's ethnic background (stereotypes). He's obviously Hispanic and has a Hispanic last name, so many people assume he's Mexican. A mutual friend made a smart ass comment about the size of his "equipment". I came back with an extremely crude comment that shut that conversation down. (It's probably not appropriate to say here, however.)

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  • by Kewl Guy - has gone 360 on December 19th, 2008

    Kewl Guy - has gone 360

    sorry none here!

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  • by Brian on January 28th, 2009

    Brian

    AFAIK know my heritage is Irish, English, French, and German.

    I've heard silly jokes made about those nationalities, but it seems that it was only on TV.

    I'd say that most of those jokes were made by Jay Leno.

    I saw him at a Whole Foods market one evening, but all I asked him was whether he was going be leaving his show in 2009.

    I guess I missed my chance to tell him something like, "Hey Jay, your jokes about my people are he-fucking-larious! I didn't know that Rush Limbarfer was writing all your material now!" :p

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  • by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on January 28th, 2009

    TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

    I rarely do. the west coast US as far as I have lived seems pretty good at knowing stereotypes are not completely accurate (sometimes to the extent that is insists there is never a valid basis which often there is but only as applied to groups, not individuals... IE white men can't jump) however I have heard some interesting things about my religion (mormon)

    from a girl I was dating I heard that we consumate marriage infront of the elders of the church... at that time I was an elder and no, does not happen in any way shape or form.
    she expressed fear that if she truely spoke her mind her letters to me would be confescated my the church leadership (I was serving a mission at the time) the USPS delivered un opened letters to my mailbox and they never went to any HQ of any sort... then she stopped writing me presumably under the instruction of the person who had told her these things and many more

    I have also heard that there are people in the bible belt who truely believe that we have horns. how else are we to prop our halos above our heads?

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