Of all the gay couples I know, not one of them does this. Still, they can call each other whatever they like.

I think they can call themselves whatever they like. Personally, I don't like to be called late for dinner, but that's about it.

i dont agree unless the other is a genderqueer

I didn't know this was done. Though, if one appears to exhibit more feminine qualities and the other appears to exhibit more masculine qualities, then they may do so if they wish. Or even if they aren't like that and just think it's funny.

What would you call them? "the nut" and "the bolt?"

None of my business. They can call themselves and ask me to refer to them any way they want. I will respect their choices. How could their choice of self-referential terminology affecy me in any way. If she is a husband, it doesn't make me any less of one.

Certainly, gays can call themselves anything they want. No, it may not affect anyone else. So, how about this question. Do you think the affect on a gay couple's adopted child is likely to be positive or negative when the child says to his friends:"The man over there is my father"s husband."

It shows just how twisted, deviant, and deceitful gays really are by using gender names inappropriately! It speaks volumes about their mentality! Legalizing marriage between such people will destroy our culture and our country!

A wife can't be a husband anymore than a lion can be a tiger. We have an English lanquage which I see no reason to change on this subject. And if someone wished to say this is just a matter of semantics, I'll put it this. If a couple is husband and wife, one has a penis and the other has a vagina. No exceptions in my opinion.

whatever makes them happy. The husband is generally interpreted as the more dominant of the two, and the wife being less so. I would be honored that someone felt close enough to tell me that- Sweet! some prefer wife and wife, or husband and husband. Just be happy for your friends that they are happy together

Hey Musketeer..Well this won't be so politically correct...I see this as another in a long line of redefining words in order to twist the common uses to meet their agenda...This seems to be the way to excuse behavior..." I was born this way", "You are a bigot or a "hater", or a homophobe if you don't embrace this lifestyle". Just like alcoholics claiming their weakness is a disease. All this is a very clever way of turning the debate to put the responsibility on the so-called "intolerant", instead of the deviant!!!

Designer, good to hear from you. Ditto your remarks.

It's totally gay.

i think if it's a male gay couple, they call themselves "husbands" and a female couple call themselves "wives". that way, it's at least somewhat consistent. otherwise, it would be so confusing? IMHO

Why are we constantly confusing our children. It is wrong. two men are gay husband#1 and gay husband#2, two lesbians are wife#1 and wife #2

I don't really think anything of it because it doesn't affect me or my life in any way. As far as I'm concerned, they can call each other anything they wish.

Do you mean gay people describing their own partners like this? To each their own, I've never heard any gay couples say that except sarcastically or teasing. As to other people describing it, if I were in a gay relationship and someone kept insisting on calling my wife my "husband," I'd find that offensive. She's not a man just because she married me. She was my girlfriend when we dated, she's my wife now.

I usually only hear heterosexual people using these terms in that fashion. If and when gays do it is usually as a bit of a joke or put on. Never seriously. Frankly, though, I don't care what people choose to call themselves.

Earlier I used the quote which follows as a thought provoker: "Do you think the affect on a gay couple's adopted child is likely to be positive or negative when the child says to his friends: "The man over there is my fathers husband." Or the child could say"the man over there is my mother and the other man is my father. They're husband andf wife"? Let's continue to carry this out to a logical conclusion for those who say "fine" or "doesn't hurt me". Well there are still likely victims. Maybe even you. If we are to call 2 gay male partners "husband and wife", and they adopt 2 male children, do the male children call them "father and mother"? And if the 2 adopted male children are gay, does one of them say "I'm their daughter, and he's their son"? And do the 2 gay male children say "we're sister and brother"? And do the male "husband and wife" partners introduce their 2 gay male children by saying "this is our daughter and this is our son"? Are there any other combinations of these gendered terms which might not only confuse the children of heterosexuals and gays as well as confuse and divide our society even more on the gay issue? Let's just scramble it all up so we can all be androgynous, meaning as I use the term, having neither male nor female sex. Is that politically correct enough? Have I yielded not only my beliefs, my heritage, and my lanquage to gays far enough if I accept this "husband and wife" misusage? When we get there, to the adrogynous world, having bent our lanquage and our society so far out of shape, will you, if you're heterosexual, and/or your family not be affected? Try to look into the future. And if you say, "no, neither I nor they will be affected", fine.

Gross!!

I don't care. If they want to refer to themselves as a husband/wife, go for it!

It makes no difference to me and really it isn't anyone's business what any couple choses to call each other.

Still trying to fit something different into the common perception and reference. It won't work. They are partners... Perhaps we should be looking at ditching outmoded concepts of hetero relationships also. Perhaps we should stop referring to men as husbands and women as wives? Since the style of the family is changing and more women work or are breadwinners and many men choose to stay in the home and raise the family...perhaps the style of the language should change too. How about people regardless of gender and/or marital status should just refer to each other as partners?

You said, "Perhaps we should stop referring to men as husbands and women as wives." Carrying that a step farther, maybe we should stop referring to boys as sons, and girls as daughters. And stop referring to boys as brothers and girls as sisters. And stop refering to girls as aunts and boys as uncles. Let's just change the whole vocabulary of relations that have a gender definition so that the gays can add something else a little "queer" to society. Well, don't care, those of you who take that position, if you want it that way. I do care. And I think the practice absurd. I suspect that soon, gays will bring forth another trespass in an attempt to convince society that gay marriage and adoption of children by gays should be completely--totally--- acceptable. Gays being partners is acceptable to me. Marriage, husband, wife, man, woman, boy, girl, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, mother, father, grandfather, grandmother have distinct, gendered meanings. I do not wish to see them changed nor confused. As for gays adopting children, there cannot be 2 mothers of any one person. Nor 2 fathers of any one person. So for those of you who condone gays changing the concept of family, mother, father, husband and wife (that's as far as gays have gone so far. Can they find a way to go farther tomorrow?)-- okay. Thanks for your input.

Well, folks, sincere thanks for your comments and the interesting discussion. And I am being sincere with that thanks. I see that the majority of respondents "don't care" or "think it okay" or "support" it. Liberal position, I would say. I'm 67 and I'm not very conservative except about a few things. But the liberalism shown gays falls into the same category of liberalism I have seen change our country, and not for the better. When I was growing up, and even in college (1960's), when a teacher demanded discipline, the teacher got it. Teachers could teach-- and were not threatened nor talked over by the class. Sure there were exceptions. But today, misbehavior in thousands of classrooms is so epidemic that teaching can't be done. Why? I think because of this kind of liberalism--women called husbands and men being called wives; same sex marriage; gays adopting. Gay liberalism is the same kind of liberalism because it is caving in to extremist, trying to be politically correct and open and accepting,and intellectual--yet going against common sense. Small children could be disciplined by spanking in days gone by. Spanked, not abused. Today, none of this is true. Liberalism has changed our society for the worse. Not in all cases--such as civil rights. But in others as expressed above. So, support your local gay. I'm outta here!

I see it as a bit strange, but if it makes them happy, go for it. God knows there's little enough of happiness in this sad world.

Well im gay, and my boyfriend would be considered the "man" of the relationship, and i the "woman". But in any relationship, gay or straight, one party takes the dominant role, and the other takes the submissive role, BUT even in straight relationships the man isn't always the dominant party. But in my case im the submissive party, or the "woman" or the "catcher" or whatever word you want to use. They are just labels that are used to define the rolls in the relationship

im not gay/lesbian/bisexual so i guess i can't have much of an educated opinion but it is my belief that the words "husband" and "wife" or just that. Just words. Labels that we use to discern between members of a partnership. I think that people need to understand that what goes on in a romantic relationship whether it be bewteen two members of the same sex or two members of the opposite sex, anything that they do or talk about or feel is their business and if they feel like sharing it with others (others would include children) then its fine. They are two people that love eachother and if they feel like referring to eachother as husband and wife then they shouldn't get any crap for it. We cannot shelter the children for their whole life from the world around them. Sure we can protect them but sooner or later they're going to find out about everything their is to know and we can't stop that. I guess what im saying is let people do what they want because if the role were reversed you'd want them to let you do as you please.

Great discussion! Seriously. I'm enjoying it so when I say "great discussion", I'm not being sarcastic. I've been called "bigotted". Do you, the person who wrote mean for my belief that same-sex parties should not use the terms "husband" and "wife" to describe themselves? Or do you mean I'm a bigot because I won't accept gays? Well, I do accept gays. Bigotry is a word that someone in this discussion wishes to use erroneously. A bigot is someone with an "unreasonable opinion". I've given many reasons for opposing the use of "husband" and "wife" by same sex gay couples. To me, and many others, my reasons are not "unreasonable". The word "bigot" is emotionally charged. I've been called a "hypocrit". A hypocrit is one with a "false pretention". I'm no hypocrite. Nothing false about my beliefs on this subject. One writer wrote "WOW that was a bunch of ignorance". Many of you, and I, can judge the ignorance of that person's comment. Someone said "some things must change for the future". I say, do you know what things? Designer, you and I, and a very few others seem to have actual reasons for our opinion. Many more people have opinions which seem to be "live and let live" positions.It's like we're having a vote and saying "the 'ayes' don't have it, the 'nayes' don't have it, the 'who cares' have it". Are many people in this discussion asking that we keep changing and changing our lanquage? Changing the meaning of "bigot"? "Hypocrit?" "Marriage.""Husband." "Wife". Maybe next "male" and "female"? Homosexuals are now called "gays". So, why not call heterosexuals "joys"? If there's a large contingent of transvestites in the country, should we change the meanings of gender so they can call themselves both "man and woman"? Let's just cave-in. One person said, "this" (husband and wife thing) "is like changing to personal choice and personal responsibility". This has nothing to do with responsibility that I can see. My personal choice is to stick with common sense, tried and true meanings as regards gender. A person's "personal choice" is certainly their's. Try on a job application or passport answering the question "Wife's name" by writing "Mr. Sam Alfred Smith". Confusing, don't you think? We've confused the concept of marriage in some states. Why not confuse it everywhere? I disagree with changing gender related concepts. My reasons have been given in several remarks at times and dates before. this one.

I think it is their business.

I think it comes from the old heterosexual view of homosexuality - that people in gay relationships were 'playing' at marriage, and one partner always took the role of husband, and the other became the 'wife'. If people still do it, I think it's a way of diminishing the reality of a gay relationship.

I'd say it's up to them...if they want to assign such designations -- fine.

Who gives a shit?

Where do you come off attributing this practice to every gay couple on the planet based on what two couples in your acquaintance do? And for all you know they are joking when they do it.

I am coming late to this shindig but am going to add my views. Personally, for the ones who do this, I could not care less what they call themselves. Yes, I know that some do. However, most do not. In actuality, I have only known one gay couple who did. I just kind of smiled to myself. I consider it to be a residual from the pressure to be part of the "traditional" lifestyle and I would, myself, choose to not because I like to use words with their dictionary definition. If you want to get the most answers to your LGBT questions, it would be best to put them in the LGBT category. I suspect that your questions are being missed by some very knowledgeable answerers.

I think it's very inaccurate since those words are qualified by the sexes, not social custom.

I could not care less, on way or the other. I'm not sure why anyone would be overly concerned about such things. It seems to me we should be more worried about corruption in government, poor government policy, people in the world who seek to terrorize innocent people by setting off bombs in marketplaces or flying jumbo jets into buildings, entire ethnic groups being targeted for genocide, massive starvation, etc. You know, things that matter.

It just proves that you are fighting nature. There needs to be a male/female role.

Most of the gay and lesbian couples I know call one another husband or wife according to their gender, i.e. two husbands or two wives. You can call your same-sex partner corn doodles for all anyone cares.

one pitches, the other doesn't, makes sense I guess, if they really do that..

I know a gay couple who are bears. One is called the Husbear and the other is the Woofbear.

This question arises from the soul of Societal structures... if you dont break them, you will continue to have questions like these.. and that is a shame.... we are a progressive society... the more you break the laws of society the more we as a society will progress

I would call them whatever they prefer. It is the contents of their mind and heart that matter to me.

When doing counseling ; I had several Homosexual couples .... From what I recall , they just refered to each other as Husbands .... unless they used a pet name of some kind ...

Way creepy dunno why