Would you limit the time your stepchild spent at his other parents home if you thought the home lacked structure for them to have quality life & education? Even if that parent and child loved eachother and it meant a long gruelling legal battle?
by 
grittygurl
ANSWERS: 6
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No. It's not my child so any parenting is between the 2 parents and is none of my business. What rights would I have to make those judgment calls? The child will end up hating you (and rightfully so) if you try to limit his/her time with their other parent.
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No. This is your husbands to deal with..It is in the best interest of the child to have the benefit of BOTH their parents...So you would rip a child away from a loving parent so you can validate your description of structure and quality. If you truly wanted to help this child, you would help to facilitate a healthy relationship between this child and their mother. You and your husband should help the mother add structure that you say is missing...Unless the other parent is dangerous or neglectful, you will have a hard time convincing a court to suspend visitation of any parent..
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As a stepmother myself and may I add the primary care giver of my stepchildren, it is impossible for me to even have a legal say in the childrens visitation time that they spend with their mother. I do not agree with alot that my stepchildren's mother allows them to do and how she parents but it is not my place nor would I want my husband to try to limit their time together because of it. Ever parent is not going to parent the same, especially when they are divorced. All you can do is the best you can when the child is with you and try to communicate with her about things if possible and if not then you are going to just have to accept it.
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I don't know if i would ever cheat my kids out of spending time with their parent, no matter what i think of them. It's their parent and they deserve to spend time with them in the way that parent chooses. I would try to explain to the child that we don't do things that way at our house and try to help them understand the right way.
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As a step parent it is not your decision to make. It is something the birth parents must work out between themselves. Kids are very perceptive and believe it or not, they do actually want and enjoy having boundries and structure as long as they are realistic and open to compromise and they instinctively know where they feel safer. It might be fun to live with a parent with no structure or boundries but believe me, the novelty soon wears thin and they see it as the parent not caring.
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My daughter goes through that with her ex. He is such a dick to her and to the grandaughter. Now they even have to have the child dropped off at the cop shop. I mean they both love her it is their new spouses that the 2 of them are jealous of!
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