by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 100
-
Simple answer: YES! If he is still talking about her, he is still thinking about her, if he is still thinking about her, he is not over her.
-
yes..
-
I think it is. He clearly isn't over her.
-
I would be the optimist and say "Possibly." However, if it really isn't a problem, that just makes him stupid. There's not an answer to this that makes him look good.
-
yes
-
yep
-
It's a red flag and it sounds boring as hell for you.
-
YES!...GET OUT WHILE U CAN!... thats a major Red Flag,would u talk about someone u didnt miss or thought about???
-
Yes, this is an extreme warning sign, and you shouldn't put up with it. Get rid of him and find someone who really cares about you! You should be the apple of this guy's eye, not this other chick, so get rid of him and find someone who is head over heels for you!
-
start talking about your ex and see if he likes it
-
Not a good thing. Save the relationship if you can!
-
If it were my boyfriend, it would be a green flag to kick his arse all over town and back.
-
Hmm..Depends, If He Was In A Looong Rel. With Her..And Your New Into Yours, Maybe Hes Just Coping With It Or getting Over Her, It really Depends, Most Times, In My Case, If It Goes On Alot, Weather It be Good Or Bad...Yes..They Indeed Have Feelings Still. Red Flag Fo Sho.
-
I think so... you don't want to be his free therapy session either...
-
A. he wants sympathy and attention from you B. he thinks about her constantly more than he thinks about you either way.. sounds pretty terrible. It's definitely a red flag. Tell him how it's inconsiderate of him to talk to you about his ex constantly.. if he continues, then it's time to let him go. My boyfriend talked about his ex while we had sex.. boy did that turn me off..all I thought about was him having sex with his ex. And in one of his ex's he refers to as, "the girl that taught me head".. kinda makes me angry. I told him it bothered me and now he doesn't raise them up anymore.. I never talk about my exes and from time to time he asks about who they were and why we broke up and such. Deal is.. if I don't ask about the exgirlfriends, then don't talk about them.
-
YES. GET AWAY FROM HIM. Seriously.
-
I just got out of a relationship for that reason, I told him how I felt and he ended up saying he still loved his ex, from B.C... who happened to be visiting in a few weeks, during my break from school.. think I wanted to stick around to see how that panned out? No way! I kicked his ass to the curb! I've known him for years and we were good friends for years before we decided to give the romance a go. There was a lot of communication; he brought up his ex a lot, but I thought it would stop. 3 and a half months into our relationship he was still going on about her and wearing jewelry she had given him (with symbols, an ankh etc). Just really didn't want to stick around because of my doubts... better just to leave him and the emotional baggage behind.. why deal with it? You have a life to build, why devote it to someone who is pining after what is lost, not appreciating what he has in front of him. Time to say bye, in my opinion.
-
He's trying to avoid a serious conversation concerning himself so he's trying to get you to focus on yourself by comparing you and his ex..meaning he thinks he's not the problem if the relationship doesn't work it's because he got it figured out it's your problem.
-
Lose the guy. That is one of the WORST red flags.
-
I disagree, to some extent, with some of the others here...I used to talk about my ex a lot, but it was because she was a big part of my life, intertwined into so many memories and I would have had to censor myself much more than my normal speech just to prevent saying her name, which seemed stupid. I tried to be sensitive to the fact that I did talk about her, however, and tried to incorporate it more conversationally, just as if I had been talking about another friend...this one was just there more
-
You might want to suggest that he give you a call when he is over her.
-
yes....it means he wasnt ready for another relationship. He didnt give himself enough time to heal before he jumped into the relationship with you. This is what is called baggage. Who needs it?
-
It depends what he is talking about. how he misses her and loves her then yea, lol its a bad thing. but if its "i never got this kind of attention from her, or shes a slut" then no i don't see anything wrong with it. it would sound like he appreciates you more then his ex
-
I wouldnt say that it is a red flag. I am still great friends with my ex. I talk to her about as much as my girl friend. Though I dont really talk about he same things with them. So I would have to say it would depend on what it is they are talking about. Because some people find that they are better friend than they are in a relationship.
-
When I met my husband he was the same (28 years ago) and at first I felt sympathetic and even a little envious as I felt it would be so good if he loved me as much as he'd loved her. He began to see more of me and I fell for him but 10 months later when I said I loved him he replied that he loved her! He even had a photo of her in his bedroom! And told me how good she used to be in bed! (Still I hung in there!) But when he seemed more committed to me things changed - even tho' we married 3 years after meeting. I became very insecure and jealous of other women, constantly wondering if he fancied them, even imagining him having affairs with friends. Now we're apart as it all went downhill over the years till he withdrew completely. I think it all began back then...
-
No it just means that he most likley needs for closer talk to him about it he may not even realize how much he is bringing it up, but he would need someone to talk to im about it in order to let go. It may end up he has to tlak to her in person to finally let it reast I had the same problem now everything is all good and if he mentions a chick to his friends its about me or his friend no longer his ex
-
It's more likea slap in the face.When did they break up?10 minutes ago?
-
honestly i would think it would be but it depends if he talks about her in a good way or a bad so yea listen to what he says and if he gets all googly eyed when he says her name then yea it's a read flag big time
-
sorry to say but that flag is on fire, your boyfriend is still in love with his ex, and for him not to be with her at this moment is proably because she dont want him other wise thats where he would be.
-
Yes, I think that is is a big red flag. Something is not right with the picture. He should be focused on you and not on the the past with his ex.
-
Sounds like he's not over her.... OR that is his only reference and he just may need to know that it bothers you and to stop. Hopefully, he just needs some schooling. The way you can know the difference is if he listens to what you say and stops. I am VERY, VERY over my ex but sometimes I WANT to say... "My ex used to do ___" I just don't say it because it may come across wrong.
-
:-/ i think so :( i'd be miffed if my BF did that too much
-
LEAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Depends on what he says!!
-
depends... is he talking about a part of his life and she was in it, or is he talking about what a great lay she was? is he talking about experiences a best friend could have been a part of given different circumstances?
-
It's not only a red flag it's a monster truck with a canon blast!
-
Seems like he's proud of her.
-
yes I think it is, why should you relive their relationship, dump him. the sad part is when/if you stay he will get over her, and dump you, men want a woman who is strong and don't put up with alot of their crap.
-
all I can say is: it would certainly be for me.
-
It depends on the context. So not necessarily no.
-
Yes
-
Confront him. Get a straight answer from him.
-
I think his ex broke up with him and it hurted him but now looking for her same qualities in you. Ask your self are you a rebound girl for him? Cause if you are it will never be how you want it to be.
-
He wants to have a 3some. Give in.
-
honestly, i think he just wants you to remember he's a sexual entity, making you jelous re-enforces that feeling. if it bothers you tell him to give his head a wobble and concentrate what is right ib front of him, you!!! if he cant do that become the new ex that he cant stop talking about. hope this helps x
-
Yes it's a HUGE red flag. If he's so fond of her tell him to go back to her. I was in a similar situation except it was worse, he had pics of her up in his house! Yeah, I should've definitely seen the red flag there but I had to learn the hard way.....Good luck.
-
yup, red flag! he either still has some old leftover feelings and cant get over it or he cant get over his grudge against the ex.
-
i have the same problem.. is it possible to work through it? he talks a lot of her, BUT it is more anger. he says how much he despises her, but goes on and on. i don't understand why things about their past still bothers him so much if he claims to be happy with me now???
-
Could be, a little for a while is understandable but after a while that sh*t should stop yo...
-
Yes !!! it is a BIG BIG red flag... it means he aint over her yet and still has thoughts of getting back together with her.
-
Depends how long you have been dating and the extent of that relationship... I would think the only obvious flag would be how their current relationship is.. still friends? still talking? that might lead to a flag if you don't bring it to their attention.
-
Yes. you should tell him, "There are no pictures from the break up. That part of the deal wasn't recorded on film." maybe then he'll get the hint.
-
it dependss if he compares u to her or talks about her in a good way or talks about her in a bad way if he compares u to her then he still has somethin 4 her if he keeps blabbin about her in a good way then he cant get over her both ways u have to tell him u hate it and face him tell him if u want her back get back to her... he would feel so quilty then
-
Oh boy. where to start on this one. Well; how long have you known him? How do you handle the conversation when he brings her/him up? He probably sees you as a caring person who can get him through a rough time...
-
ooo yaaa.
-
It really depends on how new in the relationship you are. If it is only like a few weeks in the reason that he is bringing her up is b/c that he must've spent alot of time with her and if you are talking to him he is going to want to include something in the convo and it will prolly be something they did together. If you are fairly deep in the relationship that yes "ex talk" is bad. But if it is new go out and make memories and let him know in a nice constructive way that it bothers you. Don't just freak out on him, he may not realize to what extent he is talking about her. Well, that was my say see ya lol
-
No, its a magnolia flag
-
He must have obviously cared for her alot, did you get with him soon after him and the other girl broke it off?
-
Absolutely YES! You may be just a rebound relationship for him.. You can avoid more attachment and more pain if you end this relationship as early as possible. After that he might finally realize what he had lost and try to win you back though.
-
yes for the reason that if his always talking about his ex that means that his always thinking about him to and not u
-
I am not sure about reg flag but it would bother me a great deal if I had intentions to marry him.
-
It depends if What he is saying , If you started dating him after not too long if his seperation from his ex Girlfriend , he might feel the need to tell you how he feels about things and maybe it will xplain a little bit of his behavior and actions with you , maybe he is trying to tell you what he went through so you dont repeat the same things , BUT if he is talking about her and reminiscing , saying how pretty she was or how nice she was then you dont want to be with this guy , the moment she pops back into his Life he will go back to her and you will hurt.
-
It depends if What he is saying , If you started dating him after not too long if his seperation from his ex Girlfriend , he might feel the need to tell you how he feels about things and maybe it will xplain a little bit of his behavior and actions with you , maybe he is trying to tell you what he went through so you dont repeat the same things , BUT if he is talking about her and reminiscing , saying how pretty she was or how nice she was then you dont want to be with this guy , the moment she pops back into his Life he will go back to her and you will hurt.
-
yes that means that he is not over his ex and has an attachement or feelings for them. step away.
-
Based on the limited amount of information in your question, I think it's a big red flag, and I would move-on as soon as possible. Good luck to you.
-
Yes,its a red flag. It's kind of a BIG clue he may not be over her or he has unresovled issues with her.
-
Absolutely...tell him you don't want to hear about her ever again. That might cure it.
-
If he was with his ex for a long time then they're going to have lots of experiences together. If that's the case then inevitably she's going to brought up "I remember when me and (ex g/f) went there/did that." or "(ex g/f) used to have/do/wear that." Those are just simple, hypothetical examples. If there's no chance of him getting back with the ex I'd relax and maybe tell him it does bother you hearing about her all the time. If there is no chance of them getting back together, there's the worse case scenario that he's not over her yet, but if you really care about him stick w/ it and give him that additional time he needs.
-
yes. tell him to go back to his ex as there seems to be some unfinished business there. if you don't want to break up with him.. mention your ex in every conversation and see if he gets the hint.
-
it depends on how he say it,,it is also possible that he want to see your reaction or he want to get an assurance from you if you really love him.
-
For what? That he likes sex?
-
Oh yes. I would walk away. As long as she is on his mind, you're not. He is taking up your valuable time, unless that's what you like. You're a free listener. It's not going to earn you a special place in his heart. Do you want him to look at you like a "sister" and not a girlfriend? Get out there and be with someone who will concentrate on you!
-
Constantly? yes, that is not a good sign.
-
you cant expect someone to complety forget... that would be even worse. give him time, be there and listen no matter how much you are creeped out. girlfriend title means you gotta b there for him.
-
No, it isn't good. I would tell him you don't want to hear anymore about his ex. Each time he brings her up, remind him that you don't want to hear about her. Tell him he still has a relationship with her. He'll say, "WHAT?!" And you answer is something like, "You are totally obsessed. It's a one-sided relationship but still a relationship. There isn't room for the two of us." You may have to give him that kind of ultimatum. Either he will snap out of his obsession (could be he's so angry and hurt he's having a hard time getting over it) soon or he won't for awhile. I would feel like second best. Don't put up with it for too long. It won't do your ego any good and could be wasting your time.
-
Coming from a guy I think he is still into her cause he would be talking about you if he wasn't into her
-
Is your boyfriend seeing his ex as well as talking with her?If he is he just talking, then there is might be no reason to worry.. There is the off chance that ex's can be friends after they break it off, however, if he is talking to her more then you and seeing her and you are not involved, then I would have to say you need to reevaluate your relationship. It appears that all men try to push the boundries as far as they can.. You need to set them right up front. If he chooses to cross them, after they have been set, then you might to really re think your future together. One more thought, there was a reason why him and ex are ex's. How come they still talk would be my biggest question!
-
yes. he's probably constantly comparing you to her as well. get out unless you're prepared to deal with his baggage.
-
Yes a massive one. He's only talking about her because she's always on his mind. If she wasn't then he wouldn't keep bringing her up (so to speak). She's clearly on his mind alot for it to have gotten bad enough to bother you. I wouldn't bother giving any ultimatum's or telling him to stop as I doubt he's doing it deliberatly. Take control, make a descision & stick to it. Good luck.
-
Just ignore it, he's either trying to make you jealous, or he still loves her.
-
No it is a checkered flag for a 3 some.
-
This is definatey a warning ... He is comparing YOu to the ex ... and seeing how you live up to being like her ... Actually this can lead to DANGEROUS behavior ... like asking you to change your hair color or style , change the way you dress etc ... so BE CAREFUL ! You might , every time he mentions something about his EX ... say yes and "____" (Your Ex) liked to do that or eat that etc also .... he might get the hint .
-
Most definitely. Since he is living in his past, you best make him your past. The relationship is almost certainly doomed, and most assuredly strained by that. Who gets the axe first, you or him? Let that person be him!
-
A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y !!!!!!!!!!
-
yes it is!!!
-
I would say so. I think its an indication he isn't over her yet and ready for a new relationship
-
yes of course! unless it makes you happy that he does do you really have to justify this question???
-
yes, it shows that they arent over them.
-
Yes, he is still not over the ex. Tell him goodbye.
-
Red flag, orange flag, yellow flag. Of course its a red flag. He still has a "thing" for her and its obvious. Sorry you are in this situation.
-
A VERY big red flag.
-
Defenetly YES. It doesn't matter if what he says its good or bad. He talks about her cos he stills thinks about her, missed her in some way. I would take the adivice someone else gave you. Start talking about your ex. See whats his reaction.
-
woah! it depends on what he`s saying completely. if you love him, you should trust him and accept what his past was. If you can`t then I think you know what you have to do.
-
yes, yes, yes. I think this means that either he's not over her or he's just that inconsiderate of your feelings. Who really thinks it's ok to talk about their ex to their new s/o? My boyfriend and I fight whenever he does this b/c he doesn't understand why I get irritated. I told him he's living in the past and I'm his present and future so he needs to get over it. Talk to him if you haven't already done so.
-
I think it is a flat out telling you that he cares for her and not for you. move on as he is not caring about you with her in his mind all the time.
-
yeah it is a red flag, just brake up with him or her.
-
yea and i think you should just dump him before you get hurt.
-
I don't know about a red flag... But Im sure it must be annoying as fu*K?
-
depends on what he talks about... if he talks about how hot or good in bed she was then yeah.
-
I would have to ask what he is saying about his x. is it good things or bad thing... He might just be expressing feeling that he was unable to express while with them... If his past problems are coming up in this relationship, you might want to allow him to talk about it so that he can find closure within himself to move forward with you... If he is talking about all the good times he has with this person, then you might want to assume that he is no over the x and might not be ready for a relationship... However, work with your boyfriend and find out what the root cause is and why he keeps talk about the x.. it could be a simple as his x never listed or validated him and in you he feels safe to open up and talk about things... Let me know if you would, what he keeps bringing up, then I could maybe be able to shine more light on it for you... I hope that this helped a bit
Mrs. C RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC