- NEW!
by Faithlesstheist on August 30th, 2010
Selected by the asker, Anonymous. (What's this?)
Yes. Never stopped me. No punishment does. Eventually, nobody, not even my parents, dared raise their hand against me. Most of them were afraid.
by AntigoneRising on December 21st, 2006
Yes, I did. I was beaten with a leather belt, and quite often had welts and bruises from my calves to my shoulders. I do not think that it made me a better adult. I think it taught me to accept being abused. Because of this, I normalized behavior that is unacceptable, and I stayed in my marriage to an abusive husband too long.
I will NEVER do this to my children. As a matter of fact, they say child abuse runs in families, so I refuse to have children until I've undergone counseling.
by littl_foggy on December 21st, 2006
I got a switch yes I said a switch
to those of you who don't know what this is.
it is a long thin stick usually with a lot of nots and somelittle branches comming off it and it's painfull.
I don't know if it made me a better adult I didnt get a choice.
but I would never use one on my son I do however spank him
by Anonymous on December 27th, 2006
I got it with belts, switches, fly swatters, and on one very painful occasion, a wooden spoon. Very, very rarely did I remember what I was actually spanked/beaten for. This tells me that either the punishment was too harsh, or it was administered too often and overshadowed the misdeed that supposedly prompted it. Often, or so it seemed to me, it happened more because Mom or Dad or the babysitter was in a bad mood. Had they been in a better mood, I wouldn't have been punished, or at least not as severely.
Physical punishment taught me the following:
1. It hurts.
2. Don't get caught next time.
3. The way to deal with your anger is to hit somebody.
Physical punishment failed to teach me:
1. Right from wrong.
2. That my parents loved me.
So no, I wouldn't say it made me a better adult. In fact, it set me up for years and years of psychotherapy to recover from the effects. This is not to say, however, that all physical punishment is wrong. There were those rare times when it was very effective. My grandfather once administered two little swats, not even hard enough to make me cry (I was six) and even at that age I knew I had it coming. This is one of the few times I could remember what it was for. He never had to spank me again. Yet some parents would say that unless it hurts, it isn't effective. Bullfrogs.
by Midnighttoker on December 23rd, 2006
i got spanked when i needed it. never beaten. in some ways it probobly made me a better man.
by Brickson on December 23rd, 2006
Oh yes, by my mother. She even told me on several occations that she was going to kill me. I don't blame her though, I was one of 6 kids and a great source of frustration for her. (I had a bedwetting problem). There, I've finally come out and said it.
And NO, it did not make me a better person as an adult.
by hemiman on December 26th, 2006
Yes, we got spankings, on our butts, with a razor strap or a belt. They did not beat us, they spanked us. There was a little "ceremony" type thing that went on, first we were told what we were getting a spanking for. We were asked if we thought that what we did was wrong or against the rules of the home, we were sent to get the strap or belt and bring it back in a timely manner, we were spanked, we were hugged and told that Mom or Dad loved us and that they sincerly hoped that we would not have to experience this again. My sisters didnt do much to get spankings, but I think I wore out the strap long before the razors did. Yes, I do think they made me a better adult. I learned to respect others' property, respect authority and that the truth is better than a lie. General life things that you want all youngsters to learn. I dont have a problem with people spanking children as long as it doesnt turn into beatings or abuse.
by TaoZen on January 4th, 2007
Beaten with hands, switches, sticks, fly swatters, belts, paddles, and rolled up extension cords. I was also reminded by my family on a regular basis that I was ugly, fat, and black. Did it make me a better adult? In one respect, Yes, because I learned what not to do. In another respect, No, because I internalized the pain of the abuse so much that I now magnetically attract abusive personalities.
by Anonymous on December 21st, 2006
I was beaten by everything from a ping pong paddle to a belt to whatever was handy, 95% of the time by my father. My mother was just a mild spanker on the backs of our legs or tops of our hands. But my father would today be considered a child abuser I would think.
It made me NOT want to have children, fearing I would do the same to them, and I honestly think I could have learned the same lessons by being punished in a much less harsh and corporal manner.
I carried strong dislike for my father into adulthood, and I am sure one big reason is remembering those beatings he said were "for my own good." He believed in "spare the rod and spoil the child." I wish I had found a rod to "spare" on him when I was older, but it would not have undone the damage, and just created more conflict between us no doubt.
by sheenashark on December 21st, 2006
I did get spanked infrequently as a child. And yes, I do think it helped. I don't ever remember my parents being upset at the time, except for once when I didn't tell my mom I was going to a friends house. She panicked and when I came strutting through the door after she called everyone she knew and finally found me and had the mom send me home, she swatted my butt (which didn't really hurt) and started balling. I tell you, to this day I tell them when and where I'm going if I'm at their house, and at my own home they know when we're going out of town. *lol*
by Anonymous on December 23rd, 2006
First, there is a big difference between a spanking for punishment, compared to outright child abuse. the difference being intent or the manner in which corporal punishment is administered.
As a child, i was never assaulted by my parents as punishment. was i whipped with a belt for bad deeds i did? sure and i deserved it. my whippings were always on my buttocks and never above my belt line.
This made me a better adult and to respect my parents and their discipline. i see now, what i did not see then, concerning discipline.
My wife and i have given discipline to our two children in the same manner as was given to us. we have two great well-disciplined adult children.
Just the thought of that belt or that switch was enough of a psychological nightmare that it kept us straight, forever.
It worked for us and its not child abuse.
by tt010101 on December 23rd, 2006
I was spanked and hit by my father. My mother would do things like scratch me or wash my mouth out with soap (has anyone else had to do this?).
I am now a self-harmer.
So no, I'm not a better person for it, but I'll still probably discipline my kids. Just less violently and with good reason.
by tris992000 on December 21st, 2006
Yes - I experienced physical punishment both at home and at school. In hindsight, I think it certainly taught me the difference between right and wrong - or at least that particular adults stab at right and wrong! Am I a better adult now because of it? I honestly don't know but when I look at what some of the kids get up to these days I do sometimes think a clip around the earhole might go some way.......! What do you think?
by Anonymous on January 3rd, 2007
I was spanked by my parents, either with a belt or wooden spoon, sometimes a hand. I was never beaten. I think it DID make me understand that I had to respect them and do what they said. It probably did make me a better person, I know that there are rules that have to be followed and if you don't follow them or do what it right then you are in trouble. I do not think there is anything wrong with spanking kids...beating is another thing, that is wrong! I think its rediculous that kids today can get away with so many things because parents are affarid to dissapline their kids. How are we supposed to raise our kids the right way and teach them right from wrong if we cannot dissapline them when they do something wrong, I do also belive in grounding and taking prevliages and other things away from kids as well.
by stupidhead on December 26th, 2006
I got spanked a couple times when I was a kid, but I was always warned beforehand. I was stupid and didn't listen, so got what was coming.
I hate seeing the Super Nanny episodes where the children run amok because the parents are afraid to discipline their child for fear of losing their child's love.
There is definitely that line between abuse and discipline. I always get irritated hearing people say spanking is abuse.
If used correctly I think it teaches children to learn there are consequences for their actions. It also taught me to respect my elders which I think is being lost on a lot of kids.
by BrokeDog on December 26th, 2006
As a child, I was spanked. I can also agree with the few who said, "I deserved it, too". But, at the age of 7, I got a step-father. Shortly after, the spankings turned to beatings with a belt. Yes, I had the whelps and bruises. It lasted until I was 14 and I ran away. But, I realized I had left my little brother to fend for himself, so I went back. We left for good at 17.
I believe the spankings made me a better ADULT. My Mom told me what was right, and if I didn't do it, she spanked me. And, as much as I hate to say it, the beatings made me a better PARENT. It made me realize that I would NEVER treat my kids that way, and I haven't. They are almost all grown now, and they have turned out pretty good.
by kingky21 on December 26th, 2006
my parents used a 3 foot long piece of oak the color of flames to spank me with. I think it was a definite mischief deterrent, yes. Could I probably have done without being spanked with a flaming red and orange piece of oak? I think so. I would recommend any form of punishment that is stern enough to get the message across, but not over the top.
by munchkin_kids_downunder on December 27th, 2006
yes, i got the wooden spoon and the strap. it didn't turn me into a horrible person, i am down to earth, easy going. it doesn't mean i don't get stressed out or whatever, i'm normal. i don't think it harmed me in any way!
by Anonymous on December 23rd, 2006
I got the wooden spoon when i was very naughty. I remember being very scared of getting that punishment, but at the end of the day it didn't happen very often, my dad doesn't drink anymore and I'm OK. I think disipline is important for child-rearing but i don't necessarily think that physical punishment is useful.
by timetogetserious on December 23rd, 2006
I used to get beaten with a wooden spoon, so hard sometimes it would actually break on me.
Has it made me a better adult, hardly.
by anonymous on December 23rd, 2006
My mum tried to smack me once, I turned around, put my hand on my hip and said 'didn't hurt' (oh I had such attitude!) My dad... he has a short fuse and a violent temper. He used to beat the crap out of my mum, but he never hit me to the same degree. I think its because I could run faster. He'd hit you with anything, pencil case, fist, belt, even once an iron when it was still on. I doubt that any of that made me a better adult, except that I know that if I have kids, no one (and i mean NO ONE) is laying a finger on them
by lady fuschia on January 4th, 2007
Never. My parents didn't actually punish me at all, that often- they tended to do a guilt trip thing about how disappointed they were and that seemed to work better somehow. Not saying it would with every kid, but my personality would probably dictate that if I was physically punished for something I would make an extra effort to do it again just to prove that I wasn't scared. I respond to guilt more than I do to fear.
Personally I don't really think that the type of punishment a parent uses is really that important (although thrashing the crap out of your kids is obviously not good, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea of physical punishment for the reason that I think its too difficult to draw the line in an appropriate place.) its the consistency you carry it out with. If you just smack your kids because they're annoying you when you want to watch the football, but let them get away with taunting younger kids at school, that doesn't really teach them anything useful. A lot of the kids I knew when I was young wohse parents I knew smacked them were actually worse behaved than those whose parents didn't.
I think whatever you do its making the child understand what they did wrong that's the important bit, rather than whatever you might choose to do as punishment.
by Verminator on December 27th, 2006
People will use anything as an excuse for the behavior that they exhibit. We choose to do what we do, either as a child or an adult. Outside of the totally insane, people generally know when they are doing something unacceptable; whatever it is. There are plenty of terrible 'abusers' out there that were not abused as children. And, there are plenty of 'abused' that are healthy adults raising healthy, happy children. Nowadays, it seems like those that cause trouble are given some sympethetic, psychological excuse for an 'out', leaving the responsible to clean up the mess.
by Azraff on December 21st, 2006
No, thankfully, I did not. However, all my mother or father had to do was look at me sternly (sometimes I wouldn't exactly why)or withdraw emotionally and I would be ready to open a vein. I was an only child and very attached.
by PurpleRN on December 21st, 2006
No, at that time it really just made me extremely scared and not want to be around my parents. My parents never really abused me, but there were times my dad would strike me across the face pretty good, or my mother would pull my hair because I said I was 5 when she wanted me to be 4 so she could get a discount at a water park. I believe I am a better person because of the things they taught me, not because of physical punishments.
by justme32 loves the weekends on January 31st, 2007
I was spanked as a child and of course at the time I thought it was abuse (it wasnt). I think it did me well to know the repercussions of doing something wrong. Made me think twice.
by Singingismystyle on January 3rd, 2007
Yes I did get spanked, and I am very appreciative to my parent for raising me in such a good away. They did the best they could. If they hadn't occassionally beat my behind, I wouldn't be where I am today. Now if people beat their children till their black and blue, that's a different story. That's not called for. Where suppose to discipline our children in love, and explain to them why were punishing them the way were doing. That statement is true, "It hurts me, more than it hurts you". If you spare the rod, you spoil the child.
by Mirage V2.0 AWOL on December 23rd, 2006
YES
as a young person I received physical punishment.
That pain was irrelevant even then. Those wounds heal.
The punishments were infrequent and justified.
I never felt, nor was I abused.
Psychologically, as an adult,
I was once called "lazy."
That still hurts.
It hurt because it was a high achiever.
I was doing well.
Much better than anyone knew.
But, I was still measuring myself by another's yardstick
and not my own.
And the tree switch did not improve my behavior. I knew enough not to make the same mistake again without the pain.
The character assault and the unrealistic expectations did more to unbalance my development than the physical experience.
My achievements and work ethic were taken for granted instead of being memorialized as they deserved. My self confidence was not nurtured and is still the chink in my armor.
by staffie on December 23rd, 2006
i used to get a smack, but i was never beaten and i had to do something really wrong to get a smack. i dont think its made me a better adult though. i think if i had kids i wouldnt smack them because i can remember how i used to feel when i got smacked.
by smart9426 on January 31st, 2007
Yes and it did the job. And most animals 'spank' their young to keep them in line, its a natural thing within reason
by Sketchy Mess Jeoffory on January 31st, 2007
I wasn't spanked when I was a child. I was a pretty good kid, and if I wasn't then it usually only took the threat of a spanking to make me come around. My mom didn't really believe in spankings... she would just give us "the eye."
by Firebrand on January 31st, 2007
No I do not remember being spanked although I remember my mother smacking hands. She did not need to go farther than that. We were certainly never abused in any way
by davoomac on January 31st, 2007
I was spanked. It wasn't abuse in any way.. I think spanking (not punching or beating) your child is an appropriate way to discipline children.
by tripwire on January 4th, 2007
Yes, my parents used to smack the hell out of us.
Cracks up side the head, thrashings with belts, slaps, gnashing of teeth (LOL), and countless death threats! I don't know what the effect was, because I have no way of knowing how I would have turned out otherwise. All I know is that I don't feel anywhere near that much anger toward my own kids. I am much calmer when they do something "bad" for want of a better term, and it is very rare for me to feel a need to smack them.
All through school also, we were regularly beaten by teachers in New Zealand, (it only stopped in senior high school) they used thick leather straps on our hands from the age of 5 until the age of 12, after which we were caned on the ass with bamboo, 6 times on the same spot. The experts knew how long it took from the initial numb-shock until the pain hit, and they'd time their strokes to coincide with that pain. Total sadists!!
by RickMor on December 23rd, 2006
Yes, I did get spanked. I believe very nearly every one who grew up anytime up to the 80's had a good chance of getting corrected that way. It got your attention but didn't do much good. You can get a child's attention without it, and make a longer lasting impression in gentler ways, that add to the learning process. Every generation should get a little better. If you physiclly punish your child, they will do the same. Passing on what you were delt as a child does not brake the cycle. Kids can get to you and bring out what you desperatly try not to do. Spanking begets spanking...it's a worthless effort of correction, and does more harm then good. We must forgive our parents, they did what they received, they just didn't know any better. Our kids are not responsible for being here, nor for the bills, or any of our adult problems. " A problem can not be solved with the same consciousness that created it." Stop and think before you react.
by JUSTNORMAL on December 23rd, 2006
My Mother was not very strict, just more dramatic. My father however did not beat us, but beat us up emotionally, but demeaning us, in everything we did or tried to accomplish. I realized when I was a teen, I didnt want to become my parents. So with that said, I never even spanked my children sons, I dont believe in that, but would talk to them instead. I then encouraged them, praised them and loved them.
by anglrckx on July 31st, 2007
I was spanked, beaten yelled at and what ever wlse. it made me a better person. I learned respect, and I thought twice before doing stupid things. so what if I got mad. My parents were the providing my life and it was up to me to obey the rules. It brought me many lessons.
by Ben on April 7th, 2007
I was spanked. Not every time I did wrong. I had great parents, and they really did a great job of teaching me right from wrong. I think they molded me into what I am today.
by AntigoneRising on January 31st, 2007
I was beaten, and it was abuse. I think spanking is also abusive. I just do not believe that physical violence for any reason other than self-defense is ethical, moral, or tolerable. The funny thing is that I believed in spanking up until a few years ago.
by Engeltje on January 31st, 2007
I was never spanked but I have to say that I was a well-behaved child.
My younger brother wasn't that well behaved but he never got spanked either.
My parents were against violence and spanking.
When naughty, we had to sit on the sofa for a while without anything to do and were talked to about our behaviour.
It worked for us.
by Willow Bell on January 8th, 2007
yes i got "spanked" and no i dont think it helped me at all. all it did was make me more crule to my younger brother.
by Anonymous on December 26th, 2006
Spanked a fair amount as a kid til about age 8-9. Then made to go to my room or something else.
by cami1211 on December 23rd, 2006
No my parents never spanked or othervise gave me any form of physicall punishment. I was grounded but that was all. My brothers and sistere vere never spanked either. My husband was spanked/beaten and I would never lay a hand on my kids nor would I let anyone else. You can didipline children without resorting to violence and in my oppinion they will repect you more instead of just fearing you !
hope this helps..
by bigkado69 on December 21st, 2006
I think so in ways,its passed on to you when you are a adult.As of now i have no kids ,but i think i would do the best i could when it came to mine (or if it does).I Do think i would have to spank them in the bootie a bit to get them to understand better,but i would only give them a scare and not to hurt them.Punishing me didnt help me a bit in my opinion,but its part of the package of bein a parent.
by JAMMco... its complicated... on May 4th, 2007
Yes when I was a kid I got spanked with a hand, and a belt on occassion.
I think that those spankings made me a better adult.
I do think that on occassion my father may have hit me a little too hard or one time too many, but he came back on those rare occassions and apologized for his actions.
There is a huge difference between physical punishments such as spankings, and physical abuse. Most of the commenters in the beginning answers with the highest ratings were abused as children and equate all spankings with abuse. It is not the case. With every tool there are those who abuse them. That does not make the tool invalid. Hammers are not evil tools because someone used one to bash in someones head. That particular person misused a tool.
Spankings helped me to realize that there is always a consequence for an action. Good actions resulted in good results, bad actions resulted in bad results, really bad actions resulted in really bad consequences which could be a spanking.
I seldom spank my children, but when they do something that is beyond a verbal discipline or grounding, I will administer a spanking. Different levels of discipline create different levels of understanding about severity. The same punishment is not adequate for every infraction. I've seen children whose parents simply say "no" as their child behaves like a terrible brat and they fear applying any discipline besides the verbal "no". Discipline is not always a beating.
I feel bad for those who were abused as children, and hopefully they don't do the same to their children, but hopefully they don't go to the extreme in the other direction and coddle their children raising more of the spoiled brats that are prevelent among todays society and youth.
by sexybeasty on February 24th, 2007
I got spanked, occasionally by my dad. I was a pretty obedient child. It taught me that spanking was acceptable.
When I became a mother, I spanked my son when he had a tantrum and sometimes they were frequent. I was a single mother during his first five years and I continued to be the diciplinarian after I married.
Thing was, my son used to state that my spankings didn't hurt. I always gave three licks avross the bottom. After that, I made sure they hurt but he was tough and never flinched.
My son turned out very well. I recently watched Nanny 911 and a few other child rearing shows and learned new ways to dicipline children. I told my son I wish I would have known of these more effective and less physically hurtful ways of diciplining children as I would have done things differently in hindsight.
My son differs. He thinks he deserved the spankings and states that he will enforce capitol punishment on my grandchildren. I may buy Nanny 911 DVDs for him when he has children...just in case he changes his mind. I beleive all parents should investigate new and efficient ways to parent that will benefit everybody. I sure wish children came with instructions. It is a learn as you go activity for most parents.
by mokita on February 24th, 2007
I am 16 and i still get bare bottom spankings. I think that they make me a better person and i am more inclined to follow rules than my friends. I know that my mum only spanks me cos she loves me and wants to keep me on the right path. I only get spanked with her hand or a hairbrush (and if i've been really naughty a ruler) that canes!! I believe that teenagers should be spanked cos it would make them more likely to follow rules and not break the law. I don't think spankings make you a violent person. I hate and like being spanked. I hate it cos it is humiliating and it hurts but i like it cos it shows that my mum loves me enough to care still about how i act. I reccommend spankings to other teens. If anyone is interested about anything else to do with this topic say so!!
by Drgnchlde on February 15th, 2007
I was spanked. It was probably only a handful of times, and every time, my daddy cried. I think that hurt more than the spanking did. I don't remember any physical pain associated with it, only the pain of hurting HIM, and disappointing him.
Spanking, if used SPARINGLY and lovingly, can be a very effective deterrent, but it doesn't take much to make it ineffective... a child spanked daily loses respect for it. If it is infrequent (I was only spanked maybe half a dozen times in my memory), it makes all the more of an impression. And it should never be with an implement. a bare hand is far less painful, and feeling the blow yourself will help you realize the potential damage you can cause. If your hand hurts... you KNOW you've gone too far, and have hurt your child.
If it leaves a mark for more than a minute or two, it's too hard. I've swatted my daughter once or twice when she did something dangerous after being told not to... it wasn't even hard enough to hurt her, but she still screamed like I'd beaten her within an inch of her life. ;) Hurt her feelings more than anything.
by rare_jewel on February 4th, 2007
When I was young, my dad was sexually abusive in his spankings and spanked excessively.
About the age of 7, courts got involved, and *all* discipline completely stopped, and I was left to run wild.
I'm 34 now- and wish like heck that #1. my dad hadnt done what he did; #2. That someone who did love me would have taken me under their wing and raised me right; and #3. That the times I really needed a good spanking, I would have gotten one from a safe, trusted adult. I think it would have made my teen and adult years easier to deal with- nobody wants to be a 20 something person trying to figure out social skills that most kids learn early,like basic respect for authority- or even the 'common sense' things kids learn. For example: Smart young women don't go walking alone late at night dressed skimpy. 13 year old girls don't do it, even when dressed properly.
I really wish I'd had some 'sense' swatted into the seat of my complacency.
by redb_ball is away on January 31st, 2007
I thought it was abuse (sometimes I think it was- because it got worse when I became a teen) but I probably deserved 90% of it! But it has definetly helped alot and is far less painful in the long run
How long should a baby stay in a car seat?
by Answerbag Staff on July 11th, 2010
| 2 people like this
When is the right time to start potty training?
by Answerbag Staff on May 26th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
How do i maintain classroom discipline by using democratic methods?
by Answerbag Staff on July 2nd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Me, hubby, our baby, my parents...see description
by Secretive Woman on January 15th, 2012
| 1 person likes this
A question about corporal punishment in "the good 'ol days". Please read description.
by drequeen on January 14th, 2012
| 4 people like this
You're reading When you were a kid (living at home) did you get spanked or otherwise physically "punished" (including beaten) when your parents thought you did wrong? Do you think those spankings/beatings/punishments really made you a better adult?
- which can also be phrased in the following ways:
Your favorite Q&A site is on Facebook! Become a fan to connect with the ever-growing community of Answerbaggers, share your thoughts and find out what Answerbag's up to next!
Comments
Awesome.
by 15 Pieces of Flair loves her teddy bear on August 30th, 2010
LUCKY YOU.
by John_A2462 on January 28th, 2011