ANSWERS: 31
  • You can just tell them -- you don't have to let your concerns stop you. If it turns out that they don't have "romantic interest" in you, that doesn't mean it's the end of your friendship. The main question is whether YOU can be OK with the possibility that they don't want a romance. What causes problems after something like that is if you're "clingy" or needy: a confident person can communicate their affection without being wigged out if it isn't returned. A lot of young people aren't that confident in themselves; that's OK, part of learning how to get relationships to work is experimenting and making mistakes, and so forth. You can't get off the runway if you don't start your engines, in any case!
  • oh God.. I just have the same problem. But I don`t think I`ll be able to tell him..at least not in the nearest feature..:)The problem is not keeping the friendship if I`ll be told off..but the fact that I have to tell him. I`m just so afraid and I don`t know how to say it.
  • I wouldn't. Seriously.
  • You can't do both. If you want to maintain a friendship, don't tell her you like her. If you want to persue a relationship, tell her but don't expect the friendship to continue if she doesn't feel the same way. Good luck!
  • If this girl is truly your friend, she will be even after you tell her you feel for her in ways that just friends don't feel for each other. You should tell them so that you do not put yourself in emotional neutral. IF she likes you than hey, you got something out of it. If she doesn't feel the same way that you do, then overcome the let down, and say thats okay and you dont want things to be weird between you. You can and will still be friends. Besides friends are supposed to share everything with each other, including their feelings towards each other.
  • Here's my opinion. I'm in the same situation, but i've always felt that if you don't say what you feel, you'll always regret it. If she says she likes you back- then look at what you've gained, but if she doesn't, the worlds not over- that is the worst thing she could say! She could be feeling the same way... just start off the convo saying that you want to tell her something, but you're mature enough to not let the response change your friendship.
  • I have to put in my two cents ... I was recently in this exact situation. I told him how I felt, he did not feel the same way, so I accepted it and we are still really good friends! It CAN happen. I my case, he had a tremendous amount of respect for me after telling him how I felt, knowing how hard that is to do. So there is hope that the same thing can happen for you (assuming she doesn't feel the way you do - if she does, AWESOME!!). I know this has been said before, but if this girl is TRULY your friend, she will continue to be so after you tell her. The trick is to be confident in yourself, to not be ashamed of how you feel, and to really make an effort to continue the friendship, and not feel embarrassed when you see her. It's not always easy, but it's definitely possible, as I know from experience. I wish you the best of luck!!
  • But what if she freaks? or thinks if you diffrently?
  • Personally, I don't think it can be done. There's boudaries...if your friends with someone and they don't have feelings for you, then as soon as you begin to make the friendship more intimate you may make things awkward or uncomfortable for the person you like, therefore jeoperdizing the friendship. It's a risk that you have to be willing to take...there's no guarantees. Hope that made sense :D
  • No you cant its easier for some people, but i was just told by my best friend who says she wants it to stay like that, but she dosent want me to get a girlfriend and dosent want to go down that road with me, then she says that me her and her son should be together and live a life of celibacy and me be a father to her son!!!!! hello who does she think shes kidding, im outta here sorry its just the way i am and anyway dont they say to be lovers you have to be best friends??????? my opinion....
  • You could be honest and maybe get lucky! My bf admitted he liked me even though he was afraid he would screw up our tight friendship. Turned out I kind of liked him too but was hiding it, but now I feel like the luckiest girl alive.
  • If you are good friends than it shouldn't be too hard. It all depends on what the answer is. I have met people that have done this and have gone on to get married, but also i have met people who have done this and have upset their friendship a little bit but not dramatically and they bilt up to be stronger than ever. You should just tell them but if you do not have the confidence just let it cool down a bit or try to gain more confidence, and this will do more good than bad in the long run trust me! i amy only be a kid of 12 years of age but i do know alot about and how it works. Without love and fiendships, your life would be incomplete there would be a chasm of emptiness. So everyone needs love and friends, so just try it and the poutcoem I promise will be a positive one even if it may seem negative for a short period time. FERGIE
  • well i dont want to sound like every1 else here !but! i got that same problem too !lol! its anouging cause shes my friend, but also tht i have to see her everyday at college!! i hate it cause you cant stop thinking about it !! and the longer ure leaving it the worser its getting!! i really dont want to embarress her or myself !! but i feel like i have to tell her !! cause it is actually driving me insane slowly!! i think in my heart it might be for the best if i jus give up and let her go but then i wud have to live the rest of my life in regret !! i just dnt know wot i wud rather ! live in regret or live with my heart getting broken !! woooooooooo man it actually feels good to tell someone !! well jus let it out lol
  • Itz Hard 2 Do Tht But Ask Around Ppl Are Bound 2 Feel The Same Way They Cud Help Or Just Say It On Msn Nd If She Reacts bad Say It Was Yuur M8 Nt Very Good But Still Itz Better Thn Nuffin
  • I just did the very thing, I told a male friend how I felt and it sucks when they say they don't feel the same and then you feel completely awkward around them. However, if you feel a certain way I do think you should take a risk and let that person know, rather than deny your own feelings. Just be prepared for the outcome and know that they have qualities you are looking for and you will find them in someone else. But I hope they feel the same as you and wish you all the best!
  • This has happened to me before. I became really good friends with a girl. Our friendship became strong and I was able to tell her anything. Then I started to feel that I wanted more then a friendship. I didn't know what to do because I was nervous like most of you. I finally decided that if I told her and she didn't feel the same it would be ok because she understood me so well and we had become that good of friends. Finally I told her how I felt. And sadly she gave me the whole "I only see you as a Friend." It broke my heart and I had no one to talk to because she was the one that I would talk to about these things. The next day I told her that it would be awkward if we continued to be friends. And she told me that she didn't want that and still wanted to be friends. She said "It will only be awkward if you make it that way" So we continued to be friends like we were before. THEN! about a week later she told me she had to talk to me about something. I really didn't know what it would be about because she was out of town at the time. So she called me and admitted that she had felt the same way about me when I had told her, she just didn't want to admit how she felt because she was scared. So we got together and have been together for about a year now. Soooo the moral of my story is that the saying "You must become friends before you get in a relationship" can be very true. So my advise is that you should go ahead and tell them how you feel, even if you are uneasy about it. Even if they tell you they don't feel the same way, keeping your friendship with them could only make it stronger. And if it becomes stronger who knows maybe they will come to realize that the person they need is you and will have feelings for you. Time is the key. If you truly care about that person you have to have patience and wait.
  • Wow, so many people in the same situation. It's funny how life works, how you question your own feelings only to find out the answers from other people going through the same thing. Personally, I think people should go ahead and tell someone that they like them (like most of you said), but it is hard and can be nerve wracking. Rejection can seem like the scariest thing ever, but with out it, we wouldn't be able to know what true happiness is. Right now I'm going through the same thing, and don't know how he'll react when I tell him, or if he'll even feel the same as I do. We can't predict the future, but what we do in the present will make us stronger through the long road of life. If he doesn't feel the same, pfft, it's his loss, and another guy will come along just as good (or even better!)
  • I just dont understand why you would need to make this confession if you know the person doesn't feel the same...seems to me like it would just make for an akward situation...i think you should respect your friendship and respect the boundaries of it. if the feelings of your friend change...then let things happen naturally...dont force yourself on someone.
  • I think it completly depends on who you are. If your some one that can easly get along with any one then i dont think i would matter, but if you take a long time to get the coradge to ask a girl if they want to walk home with you, then it might be a litle, ok who am i kidding, extreamly awekward.
  • ok it so can happen, this guy that was my mate just came out with the fact that he liked me one day and i was completly taken back and rearly didnt feel the same back, but i told him straight up and me and him are still mates, infact closer ones, we now talk about everything because he can trust me but at the same time he is completly clear im not going there with him, so yes it is completly possible especialy if u just act like normal after.
  • i guess that you can inform the person or write or email the person how you feel and explain to them that if you don't like me than we can just be friends but if you feel the same way that you guys should hook up.
  • I really like this guy who i was friends with for ages and never had feelings for, but recently that all changed and now hes the only thing i think about. He flirts with me loads and has asked me to sleep with him (obviously not as blunt as that) and omg he actually drives me insaneee. I dunno whether he actually has feelings for me or not, i really want to tell him how i feel, but i fear it could scare him away. But i know that if i dont tell him and i sleep with him, i will probably (well, more than likely) get hurt. we text eachother when we are sat within a metre of eachother so no one knows what we are talking about. It all pathetically childish, but i absolutely love it. I was alone with him in his car and it was really akward, so im not sure whats going on. Should i tell him and face losing everything that i want with him Or not tell him and potentially get hurt and used? Ahhh
  • This happened with my girlfriend an I. We got to be best friends before going away to college for freshman year. We kept in touch, and each time we came back on break we got closer and closer. We started holding hands all the time and I think we both realized there was something more there. We ended up having a phone conversation in March about how we felt about each other and we were both very honest. We decided when we got back for the summer that we'd give it a try, but take it slow so we don't ruin that great friendship we'd developed. She came back from college, we started dating and we're having an awesome time :) it can definitely be done!
  • I am in the middle of this right now. My friend didn't tell me. He blogged VERY vaguely about it and I didn't know who/what he was talking about. Then a mutual friend shed some light on the subject. Thing is, I was having the same feelings but it didn't make any sense to me for us to be more than friends, so I told him what was up and it has been a little awkward since but we are working through it. Problem is...after all of the logic, I find my feelings are even stronger than I thought and I'm totally perplexed now because it still doesn't make sense to me but I miss him and want to know what's up with him and when he's not happy I want to make him happy. And I can't stand it when he talks to other girls. :-( So, wtf, I don't even know what's going on with me. Point being, get it out there. It'll work out how it's supposed to work out, eventually. I'm beginning to think what the hell... but I also would hate to lose the friendship. There's a lot at stake and I am not an emotional risk-taker, so I don't know what I'm going to do. BUT, I do believe in being honest and working it out together.
  • I'm a girl in high school, and recently, one of my really good friends told me that he likes me. I didn't feel the same way about him, but it made me really happy to know someone cares about me. I think our friendship is stronger now than ever before.
  • I have a friend of 6 years that has told me that he is "in love" with me, but I dont feel the same way about him at all. I still talk with him and see him in public, but not in private situations any more- too uncomfortable. My advise is to watch first the physical type she seems drawn to, then if you match, consider telling her that you feel the best relationships evolve out of great friendships. Ask her if she would like to go on a few dates and see how it feels, and if it is comfortable then you both can talk about new things then, and if not- nothing lost, you just had a great time with each other. This method seems to leave wiggle room so you can retain the relationship. Any other black and white approach seems to put everyone in a place that is difficult to get out of if she is not into you that way. In my case he was nothing like I am attracted to, yet is fun to be with, dance with, share things with etc. If he had looked at the guys I was dating and brought around him, he would have known, and saved himself alot of heartache. We are still important friends but I wish I hadn't been told. Just my perspective as one who has been there- I would have appreciated my approach that i suggested to you much more, would have removed the tension afterward for both of us.
  • I’m having this same problem. I have a friend who I have liked for a long time. In the last few months we have become quite close. We regularly go out for drinks and dinner and when we hang out she often shares personal thoughts/feelings with me. She has told me that I "Understand Her" and sometimes she will sit or stand very close to me. Normally this would all be positive stuff however she actually has a Boy Friend. When we hang out she never mentions the BF and when I do she will talk about him in an indifferent manner. She tells me that her BF is always too busy to hang out with her. The BF is actually a very cool, good looking guy who seems to really like her. Yesterday I saw them walking along looking happy and smiling. I found the sight of them together very unsettling. The few people that I have told about my problem all tell me to tell her how I feel regardless of the BF. However I feel very uncomfortable at the thought of this. Any thoughts/comments?? Thanks!
  • Well, I truly believe that if you like someone, you should tell him or her before time passes you by. If you really feel that you want to pursue a relationship with that person, you should say it out loud! Right then & there!!! Then again, if you lose your friendship it would be painful but at least you told him/her about how you felt & not wonder how it would have been like if you hadn't said anything.
  • My best friend very closed about the whole relationship idea. Whenever i try to talk to her about relationships I can see she's uncomfortable, even when we're alone together. I love her, I want to tell her, but i don't want to ruin our relationship we have. She claims to have never been in a proper stable relationship with anyone, so this makes it harder for me. Any help for me?
  • I'm in a very similar situation. My best friend is a guy I've been close with since high school. He is extremely supportive of everything I do, not missing any of my shows even if he has to come by himself. He tells me I'm beautiful and we have a lot in common. We have the same sense of humour and enjoy spending time with each other. Lately, I've come to realize that I'm attracted to him in ways that go beyond our personalities and I'd like to have a relationship with him, but I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling him if he doesn't feel the same. It's hard to know what to do. I keep trying to make myself go for it, but I have yet to work up the courage. If you're braver than me, then go for it! :)
  • Hello, I'm Sian and this is a question i often ask myself. I have figured out there is no wrong or a right answer to the question. All i can do is give some advice. Depending on your current relationship with the person completly depends on what you doo. If this person is like really close mate you should tell each other everything. If they don't won't to know you after you tell them then to be honest they are not very good mate. If it is someone you have talked to twice but you just like them for what ever reason i would say either try and get to know them be for you do anything big. Half the time you just their looks and when you do get to know them they are a nob! but it also can show you how much more you like them. Before you tell them make sure you are close and good mates or things could turn nasty. by experience i think only trust andd tell someone you like them if you are sure you like them and you have a good friendship before. DEFO DON'T TELL SOMEONE YOU HAVE JUST MET YOU LIKE THEM. I hope i have helped lotsa love Sian xx p.s NEVER tell them you are in love with them cause it can put them off ESPECIALLY if you are YOUNG

Copyright 2020, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy