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by snakelover on March 19th, 2008

snakelover

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Would you turn you back on your unruly child in order to show them "tough love"?

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  • by Anonymous on March 19th, 2008

    Anonymous

    Is taking him out to dinner an option (just gets you two out of the house)lets him see you are setting time away from the rest of the world just for him. My mom also was a single parent of five kids, so I cant imagine its easy... if you can get him in a place where he is willing to talk to you, ask him what it is you have done wrong...why does he feel you have not done anything to help him.
    Don't let it me a match between the two of you but try to get him to spill his guts to you. (just listen until he is done)
    Could have been one thing in the past that was just misinterpreted on his behalf. Getting him to talk about it could open a door for you to explain yourself (apologize if need be) and tell him that no matter what you love him/care about him and that you want to be there for him as much as he will allow you. When my mom FINALLY sat down and had a talk with me to see why I was acting out...I was very angry at first...told her rotten things I thought and then broke down in tears..she was able to get me to open up my heart to her. Many people use anger to mask hurt. She didnt try to point out all the things I did wrong or throw anything in my face she just sat listening....
    You can reinforce the fact that just because you are his parent doesnt mean that you will always do everything right. I remember being at the age where I realized my mom wasnt perfect..you grow up thinking parents cant ever make a mistake.
    My brother started shop lifting when he was 15 and was also arrested several times. My mom couldnt figure out why and he later told me it was because he felt abondoned when she started dating a man who never wanted kids...she was puzzled all those years but she never once ask him why he was doing what he was doing. She would pick him up from the police station, drop him off at home, order pizza and leave again.

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    • I have done that a millions times (US time) but he is in Ohio & I am in FL because I couldn't control him. I no longer have custody but everythime I talk to him on the phone he tells me that he wants to live w/ a new person because he is unhappy. I can't & resufe to bounce him around from 1 relative to another because he can't do what he wants. He is only 15 but he thinks that the world owes hims something. He doesn't understand that he is the common denominator. He blames me for how unhappy he is but I have bent over backwards to help him. I just don't know what to do anymore.

      snakelover

      by snakelover on March 19th, 2008

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