by kate92 on October 6th, 2006

kate92

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What doesn't Wal-Mart sell?

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  • by Jodie44 on October 6th, 2006

    Jodie44

    Body parts. Illegal drugs. Gourmet food; fine wine. Rolex watches. Grand pianos. Kirby vacuum cleaners. Breast implants. Term papers. Bombs. Counterfeit money. Pictures of naked men; pictures of naked women. Industrial smokestacks. Yachts. Political favors. Granite. Keys to the city. Lists of hitmen. Lauren Bacall's autograph. Courage. Votes. "I LOVE COSTCO" T-shirts.

    Tickets to the moon. Ferris wheels. Muddy hoof prints. Nervous breakdowns. Chinchillas. Spider webs. The calm before the storm. Common sense. Pigs. Escort services. Good manners. Hurricanes. Supercomputers. Battleships. Railroads. Particle accelerators. Saturday Night Specials. Pay phones. Missiles. Roller rinks. Icebergs. Concrete shoes. Elephants.

    Detailed instructions on how to shoplift without getting caught. Time machines. Avalanches. Chain letters. Restitution. Maces. Clavichords. Knights in shining armor. Intersections. Stradivarius violins. Porn. Chastity belts. Grease monkeys. Anabolic steroids. Fog. Sunsets. Bumblebees. Escalators. Race cars. Race tracks. Cumulus clouds. Quicksand.

    And of course, no Answer Bags.

    Comments
    • haha

      SalientAlien

      by SalientAlien on October 7th, 2006

    • Are you sure about the Kirby vacuum cleaners?

      Stableboy

      by Stableboy on October 7th, 2006

    • And friends. They don't sell friends! Thanks for the laugh Jodie

      LynfromNM

      by LynfromNM on October 8th, 2006

    • What is this thing you call...vacuum cleaner?

      ptrask

      by ptrask on October 12th, 2006

    • They do sell fresh fish.

      sayingitoutloud

      by sayingitoutloud on October 15th, 2006

    • Who is to say that the aquarium fish aren't for eating?

      ptrask

      by ptrask on October 16th, 2006

    • Actually, my local Walmart sells Koi. Carp (the generic version of Koi) are a staple food product in Japan.

      ptrask

      by ptrask on October 24th, 2006

    • well where in the hell am i supposed to get an extra kidney than? f*uck! awesome answer jodie!!!

      zee-ster

      by zee-ster on August 8th, 2007

    • I agree, excellent answer. I would have said quality merchandise but yours is WAY better. And the Wal-Mart in New Iberia sells fresh fish and live lobster.

      unknown

      by unknown on August 8th, 2007

    • weird! i wouldn't have expected that, but you know how often i frequent the wal-mart these days...

      zee-ster

      by zee-ster on August 8th, 2007

    • Jodie, this is up there with my favorite answers ever. I just crack up every time I read it, so thanks!

      LynfromNM

      by LynfromNM on August 8th, 2007

    • what lyn said!

      zee-ster

      by zee-ster on August 8th, 2007

    • That took some work!

      tomsims

      by tomsims on August 8th, 2007

    • heritage bones, hope, the anachist's cookbook, blotter paper, crack pipes, temples, children, stumptown coffee beans, pluto, dynomite (?). not sure about that last one.

      zee-ster

      by zee-ster on August 8th, 2007

    • Fantastic answer! +6

      Voodoo

      by Voodoo on April 30th, 2008

    • Thanks, Voodoo:)

      Jodie44

      by Jodie44 on April 30th, 2008

    • Jodie did it again. how u doing? here is 6.

      john pennington

      by john pennington on July 11th, 2008

    • you left out prostitutes.

      john pennington

      by john pennington on July 11th, 2008

    • You left out quality products at the lowest prices!

      Anonymous

      by Anonymous on September 6th, 2008

    • You DR'd my answer -3 for THAT? Whatever <shakes head>

      Jodie44

      by Jodie44 on September 6th, 2008

    • 69% + ratings given. Jack01 is a troll!!!

      Jodie44

      by Jodie44 on September 6th, 2008

    • LMAO thats funny

      hunter534

      by hunter534 on March 29th, 2010

    • Bravo Jodie great laugh. Thanks!

      Bookishly

      by Bookishly on March 31st, 2010

    • I enjoyed your comment Lyn also about them not selling friends.

      Bookishly

      by Bookishly on March 31st, 2010

    • Well, yeah. But I'm pretty sure you can get all that shit at CostCo...

      SartreanBlowjob

      by SartreanBlowjob on May 4th, 2010

    • A+ Jodie44....This a great answer. Also, they don't sell your soul to the devil....but maybe they have sold their's!

      Starmaster

      by Starmaster on August 14th, 2010

    • How long did it take you to write this exactly?

      King Arthur Pendragon

      by King Arthur Pendragon on September 22nd, 2010

    • I LOVE this answer!!

      BritneyMacD

      by BritneyMacD on December 5th, 2010

    • Such an epic answer.

      Andy

      by Andy on March 17th, 2011

    • Wonder if it would get into the record books? LOL!

      Bookishly

      by Bookishly on March 17th, 2011

    • Jodie44... that was back in the day. She's probably not still on here.

      SalientAlien

      by SalientAlien on March 17th, 2011

    • I beg to differ.

      Brawl

      by Brawl on April 2nd, 2011

    • i worked at Wal-mart for about a year and most of these are right except that they do sell pianos

      383Corvette

      by 383Corvette on May 30th, 2011

    • LMAO how long did it take to come up with your answers?

      Voice Of Reason

      by Voice Of Reason on June 23rd, 2011

    • They sell Fog machines....so 'fog' doesnt count but they don't sell 'hacky sacks' :)

      ms_chuck.littles

      by ms_chuck.littles on August 11th, 2011

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