• A slim evil redhead made us do it
  • The devil made me do it I was sleep walking You practically made me I had no other choice Is that not what you said??? My speedometer is broken My parents were just so MEAN to me!! I have an evil twin.... Look. It's just complicated, OK? Ohhhh.... I thought you meant _____ What????????
  • It wasn't me ;)
  • the best defense is to tell the truth. the truth is easy to remember. plus people rarely believe the truth. usually the truth is so unbelievable, people will say you are lying. the liar will just say someone else did it. they might even identify the person, and shift the responsibility to an innocent person. the liar might even say he was a witness.
  • should have known, you led me to lying
  • You made me. I don't remember. I was really drunk. Well so and so said this, so I thought you wanted me to. Oh stop, you just forgot. Oh well that person only said that I did it because they are that way.
  • A liar is usually doing something very wrong and is trying to cover his/her a**. So whatever excuses he/she gives, ignore them...they are also lies! :)
  • its your fault if you would have done that for me then i wouldnt have had to do it.:)
  • Ive got head ache.. i love someone else.. my ex is threatening to take my son lol..
  • I didn't know it was wrong, I was drunk, I didn't mean to do it.
  • An ember from a meterorite which blew through my house attached to tarred pieces of roofing tile, fell into my lap and singed my privates. I wasn't able to concentrate on the report deadline because I became obsessed with thoughts of my own sterility and ugly loins and wondered if anyone would ever want to make love to me again. You couldn't reach me on the phone because our company's health insurance is so meager that it took me four days calling around town until I could finally find a therapist who was willing to speak with me for the $28 per hour offered by the company. In our first session, the therapist fondled my breasts inappropriately and I had to hire a lawyer but (as you know), my wages are so meager that I had to go down to legal aide. Their line was so long that I sat in it for two days, by which time I was in the front of the line. However, a vagrant with a rabid look in his red, glossy cheap-winey eyes took the leg off of a chair and threatened to skull me with it if I didn't give him cuttsies. So I did, but the feelings of self-deprecation caused by my ugly loins and by learning for the first time that I didn't even have as much backbone as a wino, caused me to jump out of the 23rd floor window of the legal aid office when, unfortunately, in thin air, I was caught on the abandoned window washers' scafolding where I have been for the last three days until you came to the window sir, saw me, and brought me inside and I SWEAR TO GOD I will finish the report from home if you just give me a few days of FLEX TIME. Summary: 1) hit by a meteor; 2) long wait for therapy; 3) therapist fondled me; 4) long wait for legal assistance lawyer; 4) depression caused by poor self esteem and burned loins; 5) suicidal; and 6) procrastinatey.
  • I didn't mean to hurt you...... to which I say... 'really well what u did doesn't hurt me half as much as the fact that you lied to me, which tells me you don't think I am worth the truth"
  • your mom said it was ok!
  • Mormons: "I feel the of contention"
  • that they werent lying probably

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